Preschool Sex Education

1. Preschool Sex Education Helping Parents Educate Their Little Ones

3. Normal Sexual Development of a Preschooler • Masturbation • Interest in the physical characteristics of the opposite sex • Undressing with another preschooler and playing doctor • Wondering where babies come from

4. Parent’s Role • Parents should be the primary sexual educators of children • Children often want guidance and advice from their parents about sex. • Children learn about sexuality from their parents, whether their parents discuss sex with them nor not. ( watching you interact, listening to you, observing how you react to sexual behavior and messages)

5. Talking to Your Child • Talking to your child about sex is an ongoing process that begins very young • Not a single lecture ( and always a two-way conversation) • Children need clear, honest and brief answers to their questions

6. Use age appropriate language • The hormonal surges of puberty are still a few years away! So take advantage of teaching them early.

7. Don’t think that telling a child about sex makes them sexually precocious. On the contrary, research indicates that children who have clear understanding of sexual issues are more likely to behave responsibly (e.g. waiting until older to have sex or choosing to use contraceptives)

8. If you are put on the spot with a certain question and don’t have a ready reply. A phrase such as “What a good question. Let’s talk about that later.” This gives you time to think about what you are going to say, but make sure you keep your word and talk about the issue. • Educate yourself about sex education ( the more you know about various sex topics the more comfortable you will be answering their children’s questions).

9. Preparing Yourself • Decided on a consistent approach with other adults involved in the child’s parenting • Keep in mind that you child will pick up on your attitudes by your behaviors. • If you can’t think of what to say, or are unsure on how much info to tell your child, read up on the topic. (Refer to age appropriate sex education materials, such as books, to help you phase your answers)

10. The Media • Obviously, the media presents inappropriate messages for children, but you can use educational age-appropriate books, movies and television shows as supplements for discussions about sex. • There are many good books and videos available about sex which are designed for children of different ages. • Provide opportunities for q & a afterwards

11. Wee wee? Cha cha? • It is important to teach your child the anatomically correct names of the genitals ( penis, vagina, vulva) • You can start with diaper changing time to point out and name the genitals and other body parts • When parents use incorrect names for sexual body parts, the message is that they are somehow different or that there is something wrong or unmentionable about them. Child may be embarrassed or ashamed of genitals.

12. Masturbation • Reassure yourself that masturbation is not a sign of sexual deviancy. • Focus on the setting, rather than the activity. ( should be done in a private place) • Instead of punishing and shaming children for this normal behavior, parents should treat it matter of factly.

13. Playing Doctor • Child may be curious about gender differences. • Don’t be angry or react in a horrified way. Calm yourself and distract the children with another activity. • Use this opportunity to discuss gender with your child. Talk about how the bodies of girls are different. • Tell them that touching another’s genitals and vice versa should be avoided because genitals are private.

14. Where do Babies Come From? • Be calm, honest, and factual. • Avoid fanciful explanations (storks, cabbage patches) • Keep answers simple. • Explain the details slowly and in small chunks, as time goes on. For example, you may follow up by saying: “When the baby is big enough, it comes out through a passage in mommy’s body called the vagina.” • Your own pregnancy, a friend, or even a pet are opportunities that can help clarify the process to your child.

15. “How does the baby get here in the first place?” • Keep your explanations simple but factual about sexual intercourse. • Use picture books to help explain human anatomy. • Read age-appropriate books on the sex together with your child. • Questions your child about sex, because their answers will let you know whether they understand or not.

16. What if they know too much? • It is a myth that knowledge about sex is harmful. • Research shows that well-informed young people are more likely to delay sexual experiences and then practice more responsible behaviors if they do have sex.

17. If you act embarrassed or unwilling to talk about topics, children may believe that their bodies and their sexuality are things to be ashamed of. • Children can only absorb so much information.

18. My Child Isn’t Interested! • Don’t leave it. If your child hasn’t any interest or curiosity, bring up the topic yourself. • Look for everyday opportunities to get the conversation started. (pregnancy of someone)

19. Child Abuse • Some surveys say that at least 1 out of 5 women and 1 out of 10 men recall sexual abuse • Boys and girls are most often abused by adults or older children whom they know and who can control them

20. Counseling the CSA Victim • Provides a safe place and safe relationship • Opportunity to help child develop a trusting relationship with an adult • Counselor does more than talk and listen, structured or unstructured play, dolls, artwork, music, or clay can provide a safe way for children to release tension and express themselves • Abused children also do well in groups ( helps reduces feelings of shame and differentness and helping them learn how to protect themselves)

21. Good Touch and Bad Touch • Do you know what a bad touch is? • It is a bad touch if it hurts you. Ouch! • It is a bad touch if someone touches you on your body where you don’t want to be touched. • It is a bad touch if a person touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. • It is a bad touch if that touch makes you feel scared and nervous. • It is a bad touch if a person forces you to touch him or her. • It is a bad touch if a person asks you not to tell anyone. • It is a bad touch if a person threatens to hurt you if you tell.

22. What to tell your child if someone gives them a bad or secret Touch? • First of all, don’t be afraid. • Say “NO!” Tell the person that you don’t like it and you don’t want to be touched. • Get away fast! Run away from the person whose touch you don’t like. Never stay alone with that person ever again. • Ask for help. You can scream. • Go and tell someone you trust what has happened even if the person who touched you in a bad or secret way told you not to tell anyone. Tell your mom, dad, a friend, teacher, or a doctor. If someone doesn’t seem to believe you, go and tell someone else until you • Believe in yourself. You did nothing wrong.

23. What are the program goals? • To give children language and information about abuse that is positive, non-threatening, and practical. • To teach the children their body is their own. • To teach the children how to say "NO" to abuse • To help children identify those people who can help if there is problem with abuse/sexual abuse, bullying, or other situations that make them fell uncomfortable or give the "uh- oh" feeling" • To teach children about the "Uh-oh feeling" and to teach them to ask questions, when confused or uncomfortable, of someone they feel safe with. 6. To affirm the fact that sexual abuse is NEVER the child's fault 7. To empower the children by teaching they are special and have the right to learn ALL the rules of safety. 8. To teach children it is NEVER OK for one child to hurt another child

24. Why Is It Important to Start Education Early? • Children who have a clear understanding of sexual issues are more likely to behave responsibly. • Your child will feel comfortable talking to you about sexual issues because there ‘s an atmosphere of comfort and trust • If children sense that their parents are uncomfortable with the topic of sex, they will be less likely to come to their parents with problems and questions later on.

25. Talking to your preschooler about sex paves the way for open communication about sexual issues as they get older • Help prevent sexual abuse or prolonged abuse

26. Talking about sex and sexuality gives you a chance to share your values and beliefs with your child.

27. Junior High and High School Sex Education • Sex Education for this age group will be primarily about choices. • Especially if a parent has followed suggestions that we have outlined previously in our presentation.

28. Junior High and High School Sex Education • If parents form an open and honest relationship with their children about sex from the beginning as explained during the earlier parts of our presentation, discussion about choices will be much easier. • Knowledge is not power…Strengthening decisions making and social skills are successful.

29. Junior High and High School Sex Education • While teenagers say most of their sex education comes from school, they report that they would prefer to hear it from their parents. • There is no evidence that says too much too soon is a bad thing.

30. Type of Sex Education Debate Myths • Teaching Teens about contraception encourage them to have sex. • Parents want abstinence-only programs. • Teaching about abstinence and contraception sends a mixed message.

31. Important Tips • Be clear about your values • Talk about facts vs. beliefs • Practice what you preach • ….But don’t preach • Encourage a sense of pride • Keep the conversation going (begin with adolescence as discussed earlier)

32. Topics for discussion • STDs • Birth Control • Abuse/Rape • Myths (all of the above)

33. STDs • It is important to discuss many aspects of STDs • Teenagers first must really understand what STDs are and what they can do to people. • Be sure to inform teens the prevalence of STDs and what constitutes the risk involved in activities.

34. Birth Control • Absolutely necessary to explain that condoms are the ONLY form of birth control that also protect against STDs • Birth Control can be a very important topic depending on religious beliefs. Refer to the important tips about beliefs.

35. Rape/Abuse • Social confidence is important. A teenager must be comfortable saying “no”. • A strong relationship previously will allow for better communication in the event of rape/abuse. • It is NEVER the victims fault. • Alcohol/Drugs and consent.

36. Myths • He didn’t have an orgasm, so I can’t be pregnant. • I can’t get pregnant if it’s my first time having sex. • I’m having my period, I can’t get pregnant • I can’t get pregnant if I douche after sex. • I can’t get an STD if I have oral sex. • Brushing your teeth after oral sex can decrease the risk of STDs.