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Revising the Body (Part 3)

Revising the Body (Part 3). Today we will discuss. Style Tone Conciseness Errors in grammar & mechanics Errors in usage & idiom. STYLE. Common problems. INF. = informal Pronoun P.O.V. Contractions. Characteristics of the academic style. Pronoun point of view

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Revising the Body (Part 3)

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  1. Revising the Body (Part 3)

  2. Today we will discuss • Style • Tone • Conciseness • Errors in grammar & mechanics • Errors in usage & idiom

  3. STYLE

  4. Common problems • INF. = informal • Pronoun P.O.V. • Contractions

  5. Characteristics of the academic style • Pronoun point of view Our convention: Use the third person p.o.v. In our country. . .

  6. Other expressions • a lot of problems • kids, tots • It is not that difficult. • Juveniles gotunjustly imprisoned. • The researcher got to see the results • This happened way before . . . • Before*, stem cells were harvested from…

  7. APPLY! Scan your draft for these words and other informal expressions

  8. Distancing for counter-A’s • Distancing - linguistic signals that tend to disassociate a writer from an assertion • In your ARP, which of the types of arguments (pro-, counter-, refutation) should you disassociate from?

  9. Without distancing TS: The age of criminal responsibility should not be decreased to 15. [Counterargument] The age of criminal responsibility should be lowered because the lenient treatment dealt to child-criminals emboldens them to commit more serious crimes. According to the MMDA. . . . [evidence]

  10. Strategies for distancing • Attribution – identify the sourceProponents of HB XXX claim that the age of criminal responsibility should be lowered because the lenient treatment dealt to child-criminals emboldens them to commit more serious crimes. • Passivization It has been claimed that the age of criminal responsibility should be lowered because the lenient treatment dealt to child-criminals emboldens them to commit more serious crimes.

  11. Let’s apply! • Find your counter-arguments. • Put in distancing.

  12. Managing tone

  13. Managing tone • Tone – the writer’s attitude towards the subject/topic as shown by his/her word choice • Generally: ( - ) 0 ( + )  Your ARP tone: objective, detached

  14. Certain CAS departments are pushing for accreditation. • Certain CAS departments are supporting accreditation. • Certain CAS departments are willing to undergo accreditation.

  15. Let’s apply! • Scan a section your draft. Check its tone. • Are there any words that sound biased? Replace these with more neutral words.

  16. Conciseness

  17. Sentence construction • Less is more. • Avoid redundancy. • Be concise. Use shorter structures: single words instead of phrases; phrases instead of clauses. • Avoid expletive and passive constructions.

  18. The wives or husbands of the respondents Male participants who were thirty years old

  19. Expletives • Sentences that begin with there To date, there are 30 children who have died because of dengue.  To date, 30 children have died because of dengue.

  20. Active vs. Passive voice sentences • The active voice is usually preferred to the passive voice. • These implications are presented by the researcher. • The researcher presents these implications.

  21. Common sources of wordiness • “said” Chiropractic is a therapeutic method that involves manipulation of the spine. The said / aforementioned technique involves. . . . • This technique involves. . . .

  22. Common sources of wordiness • Redundant word pairs People will see and perceive the effectiveness of sex education in lowering or decreasing the rate of teenage pregnancy. • Unnecessary words Dadufalza, in her book entitled Reading into Writing 2 published in 1994 said. . . .

  23. Let’s apply • Reread a section of your paper. • Edit it to make it more concise.

  24. Common errors in grammar & mechanics

  25. Some common mechanical errors • internet * = Internet • (near) homophones One of it’s* many features This* problems The Philippines* response to the issue Philippines have* many problems. There* mother is sick.

  26. Some common mechanical errors • Study the rules for hyphenation • Capitalization – capitalize only proper nouns diabetes, Lou Gehrig's disease

  27. GRAMMAR: Pronoun errors • Pronoun-referent agreement • The United Nations reported in their* study… • Missing pronoun antecedent

  28. The committee has made a decision. • The committee are discussing the options.

  29. GRAMMAR: Parallelism (//) • Parallel structures for: a series of coordinate phrases: • Stem cell therapy prevents mutation and effective in curing cancer.

  30. GRAMMAR: Parallelism (//) • Parallel structures for correlative pairs: either… or, neither.. .nor, not only… but also • Not only does it have advantages but disadvantages as well.* • It has not only advantages but disadvantages as well.

  31. Not only it has advantages …

  32. Passive forms, verbs that function as adjectives • These recommendations are base* on the following findings. • The following are consider* wrong. • Having been discussed* the definition of globalization, this paper presents the following findings. . . .

  33. Errors in comparison • Comparing different entities The Philippines’ population greater than Singapore.* • Missing reference of “that” The Philippines’ population is greater than that of* the population of Singapore. Its’

  34. Writing numbers (NUM) • One, two, … nine, 10, 11, etc. • 1.5 • One-half, one-third, one fourth, two-thirds; 2/5, 3/19 • 2 kilometers, 6 liters, 2 percent

  35. Comma vs. semi-colon • [,] vs [;] MSG can enhance favor___ it can also prevent Parkinson’s disease. However ___ overconsumption can lead to brain tissue damage. MSG binds with the neural endings ____ thus causing neurons to fire impulses.

  36. Single quotes [‘x’] vs. double quotes [“x”] • [“ ”] Patients may suffer from “myocardial infarction and arthrosclerosis” (De Guzman, 2008, p. 6). • [‘ ’] Macapagal (2012, p. 1) reported that “Senator Juan Ponce Enrile himself pointed out the lack of a clear legal definition of the term: ‘Political dynasty is a hard concept to define. . . . There should be a law on political dynasty.’ ”

  37. Others • Properly introduce acronyms • The English Language and Cultural Enrichment Program (ELCEP) is . . . • The English Language and Cultural Enrichment Program or ELCEP . . .

  38. Errors in usage and unidiomatic expressions

  39. Usage errors • Stressed out vs. stressed The researchers _______ the following points. Stressed out – informal way of saying one feels anxious and worried, as in “I’m allSTRESSED OUT.” Stressed – emphasized: She STRESSED the following points.

  40. Mature vs. matured Juveniles should not be imprisoned because they are not yet ___________. Mature – an adjective; fully developed, as in “A MATURE person”; ant: IMMATURE (not immatured*) Matured – a verb; brought to full development: “My insurance MATURED last month.”

  41. Secure vs. secured A child should be raised in a _________ environment. Secure – an adj.; free of fear: “I am SECURE in my identity”; ant:INSECURE (not insecured*) Secured – a verb; guarded, fastened: “The area has been SECURED”

  42. main A main* problem with chemotherapy is its effect on healthy cells. main – primary, principal  The main problem with . . .  A major problem with

  43. All kinds of people, may they be* young or old, can be affected by the disease.  May they be blessed by the Lord.  All kinds of people, be they young or old, can be affected by the disease.  The motive, be it good or bad, is no longer important.

  44. The researchers implied* the following findings. . . .

  45. Idiomatic expressions • Idiomatic – “containing expressions that are natural to a native speaker of a language” • Verb + preposition

  46. Verb + Preposition • Based ___ their research Based ON their research • The effects of this policy ____ society The effects of this policy ONsociety 3. X stops Y _[prep]_ [happen] X stops Y FROM HAPPENING • X allows Y _[prep]_ [happen] X allows Y TO HAPPEN

  47. Verb + Preposition • X discourages Y _[prep]_ [do] • X hinders Y _[prep]_ [happen] • X prevents Y _[prep]_ [happen] • X encourages Y [prep] [happen] • X allows Y [prep] [happen] • X compels Y [prep] [happen / do something]

  48. Reporting verbs that cannot be followed by a that-clause (“that X is…”) • The author discusses that *X is  The author discusses X • The author presents that * X is • The author describes that * X is • The author supports that * X is

  49. The author researched on* X  … researched X • The author discusses on/ about* X The author mentions about* X NOTE ON “MENTION”: a brief or casual reference

  50. Others • Philippines* is an archipelagic country. • Other reason* is the presence of. . . .

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