Moving from Tolerance to Acceptance to Engagement: Exploring Differences and Diversity

2. DIFFERENCESDIVERSITY

3. DIFFERENCESDIVERSITY I feel uncomfortable with diversity when_____ I feel comfortable with diversity when______ SO WHAT?

4. TOLERANCE ACCEPTANCE ENGAGEMENT • Define the word • Explain how it is different from the other two words • Give a concrete example (be creative)

5. Tolerance – • To bear something which is difficult or uncomfortable. (like a toothache or a very noise person) • To put up with someone who is disliked for their differences. • While people deemed undesirable may be disapproved of, "tolerance" would require that the party or group in question be left undisturbed, physically or otherwise, and that criticism directed toward them be free of inflammatory or harmful efforts.

6. TOLERANCE – GOOD? BAD? • Religious tolerance • Ethnic tolerance • Political tolerance

7. Tolerance doesn’t always last! • When the toothache seems unbearable, it will no longer be tolerated! • When we believe that we can no longer tolerate the “undesirable” person, we try to avoid them or fight them.

8. Acceptance - • To receive something even if one doesn’t like it. • Usually refers to the experience of a situation without an intention to change that situation. • Acceptance is often contrasted with resistance.

9. Engagement – • To meet together for the purpose of mutual benefit • It suggests a commitment to learning and living together, to listen deeply to each other.

10. TOLERANCE ACCEPTANCE ENGAGEMENT • Define the word • Explain how it is different from the other two words • Give a concrete example (be creative)

11. MOVING FROM TOLERANCE TO ACCEPTANCE TO ENGAGEMENT DISCUSSION OR DIALOGUE

12. DISCUSSION AND DEBATE • “Discus” – to throw, fragment, shatter (same roots as percussion and concussion) • To tell, sell, persuade, shake apart other’s opinion. Competitive in nature. • To gain agreement on one meaning (Usually my meaning) • To evaluate and select the best – to win • To justify/defend assumptions • Seeks a solution – must win but it may be a compromise solution. • Tends to create division and centralized leadership (power over) • Listening not most important.

13. TO LEARN WE MUST FIRST UNLEARN SO THAT WE CAN RELEARN • The person of knowledge tries to learn many things. The person of wisdom tries to unlearn many things.

14. DIALOGUE • From the Greek: • “Dia” – “flow through” • “Logos” – “meaning” or “ultimate truth” (the creative word of God, which is itself God and incarnate in Jesus. Also called Word – John 1: 1-14) • Used by Plato to seek a deeper meaning of issues “A stream of meaning flowing among and through a group of people, out of which may emerge some new understanding - something creative and closer to Truth. • Seeks new truths by talking/listening about differences (not just focusing on commonalities) • Implies a clash of ideas – but not a debate or even a discussion • Main focus is on listening and reflecting rather than speaking (like jazz music) • Change from telling others what you think, to inquiring of them what they think.

15. DIALOGUE • “Dialogue is a basic communication process leading directly to personal and group transformation. • It helps create an environment of: • High trust and openness • The capacity for reflection and creativity • Learning from each other • Looking beyond superficial and automatic answers • Ending of stereotypes, labels, biases and assumptions

16. “Through meaning” (slow) To inquire and to learn To seek shared meaning To integrate multiple perspectives – not to win To uncover and examine assumptions Open-ended Creates a community-based culture of cooperation and shared leadership (power with) Leads to transformation of self “Discus” – to throw, fragment, shatter (same roots as percussion and concussion) To tell, sell, persuade To gain agreement on one meaning To evaluate and select the best – to win To justify/defend assumptions Seeks a solution Tends to create division and centralized leadership (power over) Little opportunity for transformation DIALOGUE VERSUS DISCUSSION

17. DIALOGUE – THICH NHAT HANH • For dialogue to be fruitful, we need to live deeply our own tradition/religion and, at the same time, listen deeply to others. • For any dialogue between traditions/religions to be deep, we have to be aware of both the positive and negative aspects of our own tradition/religion. • In a true dialogue, both sides are willing to change. We have to appreciate that truth can be received from outside of – not only within – our own group. • We have to believe that by engaging in dialogue with the other person, we have the possibility of making a change within ourselves; that we can become deeper. Dialogue is not a means for assimilation in the sense that one side expands and incorporates the other into its “self”.

18. SKILLS FOR DIALOGUE - interconnected • Suspension of judgment (foundation of dialogue) • Identifying our own assumptions, biases, prejudices • Deep listening – How do you know when someone is listening deeply to you? • Inquiry and reflection • I listen • Then I think • Then I act/respond

19. BEHAVIORS TO SUPPOT DIALOGUE • Suspension of judgment when listening and speaking • Respect for differences (celebration of diversity) • Role and status suspension • Willingness to transform self • Focus on learning • Understanding the “other” • Understanding self • Understanding and engaging with differences

20. DIALOGUE OF LIFE

21. LET US DIALOGUE • Identify someone you do not know: • Stranger • Different faith • Different ethnicity • Different politics • Dialogue with this person: • Listen carefully to what they say • Ask questions to understand more deeply • Reflect seriously before responding • Make a serious attempt to learn something new about them and about yourself. • Share in the large groups: • What did you learn new about the person from your dialogue? • What did you learn new about yourself – your biases, misconceptions, etc? • Was it difficult to dialogue – to listen deeply and not give your ideas? • Is personal transformation needed/possible?