Crisis of Loss

1. Crisis of Loss By: Katie Green, Jessica Nissen, and Mario Noble

2. What is Loss? • Can be anything • Death • -Suicide • -Child • Divorce • Separation

3. 5 Stages of Death and Dying • Elisabeth Kübler-Ross • 1. Denial and Isolation • 2. Anger • 3. Bargaining • 4. Depression • 5. Acceptance • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Z3lmidmrY

4. 5 Stages cont’d • Stages are just generalizations • You do not have to go through each stage in order to heal- You may not go through any stages • There’s not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss

5. Other Theories • Charles Darwin- separation reactions resulting from the loss of a loved one were innate • Sigmund Freud- defined mourning as a period of gradual withdrawal of libido from the now-missed loved object • John Bowlby- proposed 4 phases of mourning 1) numbing, 2) yearning and searching for the lost figure, 3) disorganization and despair, and 4) reorganization

6. Definitions • Bereavement- A state involving loss • Grief- The feelings of sorrow, anger, guilt, and confusion that arise when one experiences a loss • Mourning- The overt expression of grief and the usual response to bereavement

7. Tasks of Mourning • J. William Worden • Task I: Accepting the Reality of the Loss • Task II: Experiencing the Pain of Grief • Task III: Adjusting to an Environment from Which the Deceased is Missing • Task IV: Withdrawing Emotional Energy from the Deceased and Reinventing It in Another Relationship or Cause

8. Manifestations of Normal Grief • Feelings: sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, fatigue, helplessness, shock, yearning and pining, relief, from suffering, and numbness • Physical Sensations: hollowness in the stomach, tightness in the chest and throat, sense of depersonalization, breathlessness, weakness in the muscles • Cognitions: disbelief, confusion, preoccupation, sense of presence, hallucinations • Behaviors: sleep and appetite disturbances, absent-minded behaviors, social withdrawal, dreams of the deceased, restless overactivity, sighing or crying, fear of losing memories, treasuring objects

9. Determinants of Grief • Who the person was in relation to the survivor • Nature of the attachment • Mode of death • Prior grief experiences and mental health • Religious beliefs

10. Intervention • Watch for symptoms that may require a physician • Emotions prevent client from sleeping, working, eating or taking care of themselves, medication may be necessary • Assist mourning process and help client work through the normal expression of grief

11. Counseling Principles and Procedures 1. Help survivors actualize the loss. Talk about the loss 2. Help them identify and express feelings 3. Help survivors in living without the deceased 4. Facilitate emotional withdrawal from the deceased 5. Provide time to grieve 6. Educate clients about customary grieving reactions of other individuals to normalize the experience 7. Allow for individual differences 8. Provide for continuing support

12. Losing a Child • “Losing a child has a different meaning than losing a parent. When you lose a parent, you lose your past, but when you lose a child, you lose your future.” – Nancy Ludt • Divorce rate of bereaved parents is 92% if the couple does not receive some form of help • Support groups can be very helpful

13. 10 Reasons Why Grieving Parents Prefer a Support Group • It is a place of safety where it’s all right to say anything • Fulfills the need to be with understanding people; even if members don’t attend, they know it’s available • It is the child’s space • It helps understand the death emotionally versus intellectually • Allows a hope for socialization in the future • Has no time frame • Allows parents to laugh or cry and not hurt anyone’s feelings • Allows parents to express their thoughts with no need to explain them • Can save a parent’s life • A place where I know that you know that I know that you know

14. Divorce and Separation • About 50% of marriages end in divorce • How well the person copes with a break up will depend on material, personal, and social resources • Crisis workers still need to help each partner complete the tasks of mourning • Help the client grieve

15. Divorce stats • Marriage stats for divorce • First Marriage- 45%-50% • Second Marriage- 60%-67% • Third Marriage- 70%-73% • Age at marriage who divorce in America • >20- women 27.6% men 11.7% • 20-24- women 36.6% men 38.8% • 25-29- women 16.4% men 22.3% • 30-34- women 8.5% men 11.6% • 35-39- women 5.1% men 6.5%

16. Divorce stats cont. • Massachusetts (2.4 per 1,000 pop) • Nevada (9.1 per 1,000 pop) • 10% US population • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F14UgmDRCdA

17. Children and Divorce • About 26% of children under the age of 18 live with a divorced parent, separated parent, or stepparent • Though divorce is difficult for children, most adjust fairly well to the situation • A small minority of children will need mental health treatment though • 50% of all North American children witness divorce • 1 out 10 children of divorce experience 3 or more parental marriage breakups • 50% of all children born to married parents will experience divorce of their parents before they are 18 • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKKHVpu1ksI

18. Blended Families • Blended family- joining of two previously separated families • Many of the conflicts in blended families arise because of the developmental stages of the children, the maturity level of each adult involved and the stage of grieving over the divorce each adult is working through • Loyalty issues are common for children in cases where a stepparent becomes part of their home life. • 1 out of 3 Americans is now a stepparent, stepchild, or some other member of a blended family • More than half of Americans today, are now or will eventually be one or more step situations during their lives • By 2010 blended families are projected to be the predominant family form in the US