Protecting & Preparing Kids to Live in a Porn-Saturated World

1. Protecting & Preparing Kids to Live in a Porn-Saturated World Dawn Hawkins, Vice President & Executive Director, National Center on Sexual Exploitation

2. Certain Exposure

4. The Brain Since 2011 there have been 40 peer-reviewed papers and 30 neurological studies which reveal porn has negative and detrimental impacts on the brain. Your Brain on Porn, “Brain Studies on Porn Users,” (2014) http://yourbrainonporn.com/brain-scan-studies-porn-users (accessed Feb 5, 2016).

5. The Brain Science Brain places priority on images vs. text Learn more effectively when we are rewarded or see others rewarded for actions Recall information better when it is learned in an heightened emotional state Anti-social behaviors learned more quickly if anonymity present (Internet) Harder to overcome than drug addictions Disrupts normal release of chemicals in the brain – Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Oxytocin and Serotonin Our brains are plastic – THEY CHANGE!

6. Compulsive Porn Use Escalates A 2015 MRI study from Cambridge found that compulsive sexual behavior is characterized by novelty-seeking, conditioning, and habituation to sexual stimuli in males—meaning users need more extreme content over time in order to achieve the same level of arousal. Valerie Voon, Thomas B. Mole, Paula Banca, Laura Porter, Laurel Morris, Simon Mitchell, Tatyana R. Lapa, et al., “Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviors,” PLOS ONE 9, no. 7 (2014):1–10.

7. Young Age of First Exposure Recent nationally representative survey of young adults ages 25-30 reports that more than a quarter of them first viewed pornography before puberty. 1 A study of university students found that 93% of boys and 61% of girls had seen Internet pornography during adolescence. The researchers reported that the degree of exposure to paraphilic and deviant sexual activity before age 18 was of “particular concern.”2 Another sample has shown that among college males, nearly 49% first encountered pornography before age 13.2. 3

8. “I want help. I want it to end...I want to be able to go to school and not have pornography on my mind.” (Boy: 14 years old) • “So many of my thoughts and so much of my time is consumed by porn that it is alarming. Porn has such a powerful control over my life, I don't know what to do.” (Boy: 17 years old) Heartbreaking Testimonies from Boys *Testimony authors not pictured. Fight the New Drug, “Porn Impact: Themes from 815 Narrative Essays by Teenage Boys.” 2016.

9. Consequences for our Children • Early exposure among children effects psychological, physical & social development • Fosters sexual “mis-education” • Teaches “Adult Entertainment” is normal and desirable • Desensitizes the viewer and increases an appetite for more deviant, bizarre, or violent types of pornography • Facilitates sexual aggression and early sexual debut and risky sexual behaviors • Damages emotional bond with caregiver • Physical and sexual victimization

10. Consequences for our Children • Negative Body Image and Pressure to Perform Pornographic Acts • Increased child-on-child sexual abuse • Voyeurism • Sexting • Cyberharassment and bullying • Outing & trickery • More lax attitudes about rape & sexual assault • Associated with Adolescent Delinquency and Criminal Behavior

11. Pornography is not Victimless • Changes the brain • Men, women and children are developing dependencies and addictions to pornography • Impacts the physical, psychological and emotional development of our children • Destroys families • Linked with anxiety & depression • Sexual dysfunction • Normalizes sexual violence • Deters marriage and committed • relationships • Exploits women and children • Increases demand for child sexual abuse images and increases child sexual abuse • Increases demand for prostituted/trafficked women and children

12. Tips for Protecting Your Family Keep yourself free from pornography Develop family traditions Use the tools available – filters, software settings Have frequent discussions with your children and spouse Get educated and stay up-to-date on latest technology and dangers Use technology wisely & know what your kids are doing

13. Children & Teens Need To Know: Give them protective information Bodily knowledge Teach respect for self and others Relationship instruction Media savviness – Digital Citizenship Sexual intimacy is healthy and wonderful How to avoid it and a plan for if they see it

14. Tips for starting the Conversation Start with what they already know Define what pornography is in age-appropriate ways Practice with your family what to do if they see pornography Be upfront about your concerns, weaknesses, & the awkwardness Praise kids for good decisions

15. Tips for starting the Conversation Build on their desire to be trusted & grown-up Use examples in the media & news Share a personal experience Read current blogs on the issue Follow up on these conversations and check back regularly

16. Media Literacy Tips How do your kids use the Internet and behave online? Terms of use of social media sites they are using Risks of using: social media sites, cookies, searching, images, etc. Threats specific to each platform Communication Etiquette Privacy Online Predators Exposure to inappropriate material DEVELOP A PLAN!

17. MAKE A PLAN NOW • Stay Calm! If your child senses that you are nervous or anxious, he or she might feel uncomfortable—and will want the conversation to be over QUICKLY. You want to be your child’s go-to source of information. • Use facts. Define pornography. Tell your child where he or she is most likely to be exposed. (A friend’s cell phone or tablet, any internet-enabled device, etc) • Help your child to understand that sex is normal and that porn doesn’t represent true intimacy. • Never use shame or guilt as teaching tools. Help your child to know that they should never feel guilty for being curious but that he or she can COME TO YOU with questions. • Follow up frequently. Use daily life examples to start conversations. Being prepared is your best line of offense against your child struggling with pornography. The most important thing is that your child hears this from you first! BE YOUR CHILD’S FIRST & BEST SOURCE OF INFORMATION!

18. Resources to Help You Keep Up Porn Proof Kids Educate and Empower Kids Fight the New Drug Blogs for Filtering & Accountability Companies like Covenant Eyes or Net Nanny National Center on Sexual Exploitation Enough is Enough

19. 83 Years of Marriage! “Pornography threatens the loss of love in a world where only love brings happiness.” - Roger Scruton

20. Dawn Hawkins Vice President & Executive Director 202-393-7245 dawn@ncose.com www.EndSexualExploitation.org