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What do we make of Criticism?. Giving it (Sparingly) Taking it (Graciously) CONSIDER Roles (Player or the coach) ‘Tis inevitable. How were you parented? (Punished/treated in raw anger?) This may cause you to be threatened, even when you aren’t really being threatened.
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What do we make of Criticism? Giving it (Sparingly) Taking it (Graciously) CONSIDER Roles (Player or the coach) ‘Tis inevitable. How were you parented? (Punished/treated in raw anger?) This may cause you to be threatened, even when you aren’t really being threatened. Who will likely be your biggest negative critic? Who is likely to be your best critic?
Criticism? Who will likely be your biggest negative critic? • Those with an axe to grind • The student(s) you disciplined • Those (parents/students) unhappy about grading • The grumpy (break-up, rough home life) • Those jealous when other like you *Most will like you, but not communicate that – especially males (to males). “Squeaky wheels get the oil.”
Valid Criticism? Criticism most worth hearing? • Mentors/colleagues/field instructors? • Any angry parent? • Administrators? • Experienced or the new guy? • ‘Sincere’ students? • ‘Popular’ students? • Struggling students? • Consistencies – are you hearing similar things from different sources? SO, hear & consider the content & the source.
Expect criticism & try not to take it personally Good criticism (can make you better): • Is patient & charitable doesn’t come right away • Often happens personally & directly, but privately when 1 on 1 (exceptions for group feedback) • Planned in advance, observes – deescalates in conflict • Intent: Comes from a desire to help • Is a reflection of your need to grow, someone’s wisdom Bad criticism (can zap morale): • Often happens behind backs (gossip/emails) • Reflection of someone else’s insecurity/defensive mech. • Spur of the moment, accuses – escalates in conflict • Publically direct challenges OR passive aggressive • Anonymous snipers, people who hide and then shoot • Intent: Comes from a desire to tear down or “1 up” • “Just joking” after a dig: Insincere, emotionally dishonest
Responding to Criticism …indicates maturity/professionalism. But, generally speaking… Do you initiate/invite, get defensive, blame-shift/evade, listen, fault-find, do you shut down & hold a grudge, thank, how often do you give and receive, any regrets, any thing you’re glad you’ve been through?
GOOD CRITICISM • Is a gift – it’s the red pill, Alice. • Take it seriously & ask humble (not defensive) Q’s • Is needed; no pain, no gain. • Don’t shoot the messenger, it means they/you care • Brings trust, bonds, as people journey together BAD CRITICISM • Is a boogeyman, it haunts but it isn’t real • You’re not a doormat • Not everything deserves a hearing • How does time, place, and tone fit in to valid complaints? • Live as if what is true, is true. Let your own perception correspond to reality • Laugh it off