Leda Swann

1. Leda Swann Writing Great Sex Charmed and Dangerous 2006

2. Let’s get some things out of the way right now Cunt Cock Pussy Fuck If any of these words are offensive to you, close your ears for the next hour. We’re going to get you to string a few words together using words like this. If that overly embarrasses you, now’s a good time for a cup of chamomile tea.

3. What are we going to be doing for the next hour? We’re going to talk a bit about why you might want to write erotic romance, what is erotic romance, and just what can you write about? Then we’ll get you to write some great sex and we’ll discuss what you wrote. Next we’ll look at how to write great sex a bit more detail. And you get to have another go. We have arbitrary prizes, so don’t hold back.

4. Why write erotic romance? • It’s hot right now – an emerging market. Which translates to: • lots of markets to try • lots of money (well, a reasonable amount, anyway) if you’re successful • You can write in almost any sub-genre - historical, paranormal, contemporary, western. Probably anything except for inspirational, and even that, well, who knows? • It’s a lot of fun. You get to think about sex all the time. • Your colleagues look at you sideways in the elevator and wonder how much better your sex life is than theirs.

5. What is erotic romance anyway? How does it differ from ordinary romance, or from pure erotica? Erotic romance is romance with really hot and graphic sex. Erotica is lots of really hot and graphic sex between characters who do not have any emotional connection, or who have minimal emotional connection. Or to put it another way: Romance: What is thing called love? Erotica: What is this thing called, love?

6. How far dare you go? What kinds of sex can you write about in erotic romance? Just how far can you go? Be bold – how brave are you? And your readers? But not too bold. Every publishing house has its taboos. Learn them. Don’t break them. Ever. You can get away with more in romantica or erotica that you can get away with in other romance novels. Be inventive.

7. Okay sex • Oral sex • Sex with multiple partners, e.g. threesomes • Masturbation • Anal sex • Voyeurism • Bondage • Role-playing • Sex with (humanoid) extra-terrestrials • Sex with shape-shifters • And the plain old missionary position

8. Not Okay sex • Anything including underage people – over 18 is essential • Sex with non-sentient animals (it’s amazing though what some writers have been able to get away with when writing about sentient animals!) • Sex with dead people (unless they are the walking dead like vampires) • Golden showers • Anything to do with icky violence • And, funnily enough, the American market doesn’t care for its heroines to have sex with other people when they have an emotional attachment to a different partner.

9. What is “great”? (Part 1) • It’s subjective • What I find flowery you think is lyrical • What arouses me you find icky • Write for your target audience. Decide on a style that you think will work for both you and your readers. • Read your sex scenes. Do they turn you on?

10. Your turn! We’ve got some scenarios here to get you started on your very own sex scene. There’s two different sets, each with two scenarios outlined. The first is fairly simple, while the second is a bit more complex. Have a go at the first scenario, you have 10 minutes to scribble some erotic romance. After that, while we talk a bit more, think about what we are saying with respect to the second scenario. A bit later we’ll get you to write again.

11. Erotic Language You Gotta use words with the right flavor! Here’s some fun words- Cock Pussy Shaft Cunt Erection Nipples Penis (maybe) Clit Balls Ass Sac Cum Butt Buds

12. Erotic Language And here’s some silly words- Wiener Love button Johnson Cavern of luuurve Manroot Pink canoe Rod Bearded axe wound Giant meat hammer Man in a boat Willy Titties Love truncheon Jugs Pork sword Rack Hot beef (injection) Bacon bazooker

13. Erotic Language And our favourites! Treasure trove of heavenly delights Purple pulsating pillar of passion

14. What is “great”? (Part 2) “Larry entered the dimly lit bar, with a feeling in his bone that it was his lucky night and there would be some chick who'd like the cut of his gib and who would be sufficiently pissed that she'd have a quickie in the loos. As he walked in he spied a hottie and said to her, "hey tasty laaaaaaaaady, i gotta schlong like a german salami, wanna root?"…

15. What is “great”? (Part 2 cont.) …Man, the chick was out of it; she was none too flash- looking but hey, he thought to himself, i got my beer goggles on and anything looks alright when you are as desperate as a dingo in the desert without a tree to piss on. He hitched up his beer belly over his fawn slacks and followed her into the Ladies for a little Larry- lovin'.” …maybe not

16. What is “great”? (Part 3) • Sex must be integral to the story. It must: • Increase the tension between the characters, or • Complicate their relationship, or • Push the plot along • Show another aspect of your characters

17. What is “great”? (Part 3) You can’t have a story that would work without the sex scenes in it. That way you get boring sex. Gratuitous sex is not interesting or exciting sex. In erotic romance, as in real life, having sex is not the magic action that resolves a couple’s differences. Sex is a complication, not a cure.

18. What is “great”? (Part 3 cont) Sex must always be in character. If your character is a virgin, she won’t be saying “Gimme some of your hard cock.” And if she is an experienced woman, she won’t be looking at a man’s naked body as if she’s never seen an erection before.

19. What is “great”? (Part 3 cont) Sex is about emotions, not about gymnastics. It helps to get into the heads of both characters so the reader can experience what sex is like for both of them. It not about moving body parts and friction. It’s about the emotional connection they forge when they have sex with each other, the parts of themselves they are revealing to the other.

20. What is “great”? (Part 4) Dialogue helps. It breaks up the action and can be used to reveal character. Sex must fit the character’s emotional development. The sex that two characters have in the beginning of your story will likely be very different to the sex they have in the middle of the story or at the end. The sex changes as your characters develop. If you can swap the sex scenes around without losing anything, this is a sign that the sex is not individualised enough.

21. Your turn (again)! • Write a scene using Scenario 2. As you write think about: • Conflict • Dialogue • Motivation • Style • Context • Vocabulary • Emotional impact • Plus, does it turn you on?

22. Finally Good luck and happy writing! Thanks for being brave and taking part in our workshop. Cathy and Brent ledaswann.com

23. Charmed Scenarios Scenario 1 Here’s an easy one to start with - pirates are all the rage at the moment, and if Hollywood is to be believed, they have lots of fun too. Captain Blackbird is the meanest pirate ever to sail the seven seas. Despite his reputation he does actually have a few morals. One of these is respect for women. During one of the crew’s forays they rescue from a sinking ship a fair maiden, Miss Christine. At first she is afraid that she is going to become the sport of the crew, but Captain Blackbird will have none of that. He provides her with safe yet spartan accommodations. She learns the pirate ship is heading in the opposite direct to which she wants to go. One night she is invited to the Captain’s table to dine, and she decides to seduce the Captain in an attempt to have him change course and take her where she needs to go. Does he resist Christine’s advances, or does he take advantage of what she is offering? And does he turn his ship around? Scenario 2 This one is a bit trickier, it involves the thought of a threesome. What’s our hero’s reaction? Does he find the thought of an extra person in their bed exciting? Or offputting? And is that person a man or a woman? Helen and Joe have been married for a few years and are very much in love. Helen is very adventurous in her lovemaking, generally taking the lead in various role plays and games. He’s not shy either, and has never refused her ideas in the past. One sunny Sunday afternoon they are lying in bed and she starts teasing him. As usual their selection of toys is at hand. As their lovemaking progresses she talks to him, imagining another partner in bed with them. She gauges his reaction as she describes what it might be like with another woman, or another man, as they make love. What does Helen say? And do? What is prompting her to make these suggestions? And what does Joe think of the idea?

24. Dangerous Scenarios Scenario 1 Here’s an easy one to start off with, its the classic office fling. As usual its the office Christmas party and everyone is a bit tipsy. Why does this always happen? Gordon is a bit shy with the ladies, and while no virgin, is not terribly experienced in matters of sex. He’s had his eye on Marie for a while. She’s pretty and fun to talk to. As it happens Marie is very experienced, sexually speaking, but doesn’t present this way. Gordon sees her as very prim and proper, but fortified with cheap bubbly he finds her very interesting indeed. She’s open to his approaches and he amazes himself by leading her off to the stationary room. What happens next? Who takes charge? Whatever happens we know its going to be an hour of wild fucking, that’s for sure. Scenario 2 This one’s a bit trickier. Raped as a child, Cassie is uncomfortable around men, hiding her terror behind the facade of an ice princess. Pierre is a vampire bad boy who has been seducing women for hundreds of years - and when he meets Cassie by chance at an evening party, he quickly becomes determined to break through the ice princess to the woman beneath and make her his. How does he go about this? What about her attracts him? Why does he feel the need to get through to her? How does she respond to him? And why?