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Understanding Sexuality. Chapter 27. Personal Identity. A gender role is one of society’s most fundamental roles. Your society teaches you its definitions of male and female behavior. You learn gender roles in your family through observation and imitation.
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Understanding Sexuality Chapter 27
Personal Identity • A gender role is one of society’s most fundamental roles. • Your society teaches you its definitions of male and female behavior. • You learn gender roles in your family through observation and imitation. • Gender roles are part of your personal identity. They are the behavior and characteristics expected of a male or female.
Gender Role History • Gender roles have changed a lot over history. • They used to be much more defined. In traditional gender roles, women were expected to stay home and raise the family while men went out and worked. • Now women are free to do all the things that men can, and men are encouraged to take equal part in their family lives.
Influences • Family is one of the biggest influences on a person, especially when it comes to gender identity. • Your peers, community and surrounding media will also influence . • Peers often imitate one another.
Media Influences • Movies, sitcoms, reality shows, books, songs, and music videos all depict different relationships between men, women and romantic partners. • The messages often contradict each other.
And then again…. there is the whole “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”
Boys Physiological Differences Girls Talk, develop vocabulary, pronunciation and read earlier, better memory. Like toys with faces; stuffed animals and dolls. Use both hemispheres of the brain. Left side of brain develops faster—better at math, problem solving, building and figuring out puzzles. Like blocks or anything that can be manipulated.
Boys Social Influences--Infants Girls Speak softer and express more “cooing” with. Caressed and stroked more. Mothers show a wider range of emotional responses to girls than boys. Speak louder to…”Hey big guy!” Handled more physically and robustly, bounced more. Fathers speak to using “Command Terms”
Boys Developmental Differences Girls Nursery rhymes, books etc. stereotype damsel in distress, frumpy housewife, sexy heroine . Use more terms of endearment. Those who act like tomboys are accepted. Talk about other people. Age 12-18: Biggest event-having a boyfriend. Get away with more aggressive antisocial behavior in school and home. Boys who act like girls are reprimanded. Talk about things and activities. Age 12-18: Biggest event-equally interested in sex, cars and sports.
Men Values and Self Esteem as Adults Women Value love, communication, beauty and relationships. Her sense of self is defined through their feelings and quality of their relationships. Personal expression in clothes and feeling are very important. Offering help is a sign of strength. Concerned about physical attractiveness. When men are preoccupied with work or money, women interpret it as rejection. His sense of self is defined by his achievements. More interested in objects and things. Rarely talk about their problems-sign of weakness. More aggressive, combative and territorial. Self esteem is career-related. Devastated by failure and financial setbacks. Hate to ask for information.
Men Other Differences Women Intuitive, holistic, creative and integrative. In touch with wider range of feelings. Aesthetically-oriented and functional. More sensitive to sounds and smells “Atmosphere” –want a warm homey nest Logical, analytical and rational. Difficult time relating to their own feelings. Actually more vulnerable and dependent on relationships, devastated by the ending since they have fewer friends. More at ease with their angry feelings. More functional in problem-solving. See housework as demeaning
Complaints Most frequent complaint: • Men: Women are always trying to change them. • Women: Men don’t listen.
What Women Want • Women need intimacy and connection. Caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance. • She is motivated when she feels special or cherished.
What Women Want Women want empathy, men offer solutions. Men feel responsible for women’s problems. Men will try to change a woman’s mood by offering solutions to her problems. Men assume women want advice, women want them to listen. It’s better if: Men don’t offer solutions until the woman has calmed down.
What a Man Wants • Men need status and independence. Trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. • They are motivated when they feel needed. • His biggest fear is that he is not good enough or not competent enough.
What a Man Wants Women try to change a man’s behavior by offering advice and criticism. When women give advice, men hear that they aren’t competent. It’s better if: Men appreciate advice and criticism when it is requested.