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Guided by the Nature of Parents

Guided by the Nature of Parents. In a sentence, what’s the one issue with parents that brought you here today. Turn to someone you don’t know and introduce yourself. Tell them about a child you care deeply about. What are your hopes and dreams for that child?.

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Guided by the Nature of Parents

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  1. Guided by the Nature of Parents

  2. In a sentence, what’s the one issue with parents that brought you here today

  3. Turn to someone you don’t know and introduce yourself • Tell them about a child you care deeply about. • What are your hopes and dreams for that child?

  4. Our paradigms are the source of our attitudes and behaviors. We seldom question their accuracy; we’re usually even unaware that we have them. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are.

  5. What is society’s view of childhood?

  6. A ‘paradigm shift’ is a change in the basic assumptions, or paradigms, within the ruling theory of science. (Thomas Kuhn, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions)

  7. It turns out then, that children, by their very nature, are

  8. Have you ever met an adult who doesn't really love what they do, but just goes through the motions in their job and everyday life? Have you spoken with men and women who constantly complain, showing no visible passion for anything in the world? I'm sure that, like me, you have met those people.

  9. I've also seen the making of these adults in schools across our country: students who are consistently being "prepared" for the next test, assessment, or grade level . . . only to find out after graduation that they don't really know what they are passionate about.

  10. These are the same students who are never allowed to learn what they want in school. Forced down a curriculum path that we believe is "best for them," they discover it is a path that offers very little choice in subject matter and learning outcomes.

  11. We spend 14,256 hours in school between kindergarten and graduation. If we can't find a time for students to have some choice in their learning, then what are we doing with all those hours?

  12. What 20% time allows students to do is pick their own project and learning outcomes,[20% of the time] while still hitting all the standards and skills for their grade level.

  13. So, it’s OK to waste the other 80% of their time?!

  14. The Power of Expectations

  15. Maria Montessori understood this “The first step an intending Montessori teacher must take is to prepare herself. For one thing, she must keep her imagination alive; for whilst, in traditional schools, the teacher sees the immediate behavior of her pupils… the Montessori teacher is constantly looking for a child who is not yet there….

  16. She must have a kind of faith that the child will reveal himself through work. She must free herself from all preconceived ideas concerning the levels at which the children may be. The many different types of children (meaning they are more or less deviated) must not worry her. In her imagination she sees the single normalized type, which lives in a world of the spirit.”

  17. So, why is he talking about paradigms when he’s supposed to talk about parents? • It shows what we’re up against with parents: overcoming the commonly held paradigm of childhood • It poses the question: could we also have a faulty paradigm, but of parents?

  18. Give us your children. • And have absolute faith in what we do. • Now, go away!

  19. Maria Montessori understood this “The first step an intending Montessori teacher must take is to prepare herself. For one thing, she must keep her imagination alive; for whilst, in traditional schools, the teacher sees the immediate behavior of parents… the Montessori teacher is constantly looking for a parent who is not yet there….

  20. She must have a kind of faith that the parent will reveal himself through work. She must free herself from all preconceived ideas. The many different types of parents (meaning they are more or less deviated) must not worry her.

  21. Social Outcomes • Empathy and a desire to stand up for the disadvantaged • Communication skills: confident and articulate at self-expression; also an effective listener • Relationships: good at making and keeping friends

  22. Academic Outcomes • Solid fundamentals, but also a depth and breadth of knowledge • Critical thinking skills • An ability to learn

  23. Personal Characteristics • Adaptable and Resourceful • Kind and generous • Independent

  24. Determinism • Genetic determinism: your grandfather did it to you • Psychic determinism: your parents did it to you • Environmental determinism: your boss, your spouse, your economic situation – someone or something in your environment is responsible for your situation

  25. Reactive statement meaning I am determined. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not responsible Something outside me – limited time – is controlling me Someone else’s behavior is limiting me I’m not free to choose my actions • That’s just the way I am. • He makes me so mad. • I can’t do that. I just don’t have the time. • “If only my wife was more patient.” • “I have to do it.”

  26. The Classic Conditioned Response Diagram

  27. I am going to submit, that we can choose how we look at, what we expect from, how we relate to children AND parents

  28. You can’t change children or parents; but, you can change yourself. And, you can create environments conducive to change

  29. Whether you call it parent outreach, parent partnerships or parent education, it’s about creating environments conducive to growth, development, self-discovery and transformation. And that’s something we know quite a lot about.

  30. Since it is also about putting them in a frame of mind receptive to a new paradigm, it will need to help them disconnect from their conscious thinking, judging, criticizing mind, and allow their intuitive creative self to emerge. It will also need to be disarming, and help them set aside their anxieties and defenses

  31. Practices that help Make it experiential Create opportunities for self-awareness and awareness of surroundings Pay careful attention to creating an emotional climate that is welcoming and non-threatening. Include elements of surprise, lightness and humor, story and song Incite the imagination

  32. What we know about creating environments conducive to growth, development, self-discovery and transformation Although they are in a different plane of development, adults still display the same human tendencies that we observe among the children in our Montessori classrooms. That shouldn’t be too surprising since they may be older but they are still human, after all.

  33. Fundamental Montessori practices • Adult humility • Belief in the innate potential and goodness of each • Respect for self-direction, self-motivation and choice • Take into account natural tendencies, developmental characteristics, sensitive periods • Teach by teaching, not correcting • Allow time for self-paced development • Provide opportunity for active engagement • Get out of the way, and let them do for themselves • Treat them as individuals • Observe, listen and prepare to respond

  34. Respect for Choice From the first, let’s be careful not to sell our Montessori programs to parents, but instead to inform them and then respect their choice.

  35. Our job with prospective parents is to answer their questions in a way that describeswhat we do, fully and completely and unapologetically, but without selling.

  36. Let’s respect the fact that although Montessori might be right for every child, it might not be right for every parent. It’s the parents’ job to choose; it’s our job to make sure that their choice is a fully informed one.

  37. Take into Account the Sensitive Periods of parents Before their child is born and continuing through the first two years of life.

  38. Prenatal classes and parent/infant classes are a wonderful opportunity to reach parents when they are at their most open.

  39. Beginning with their first observation as a prospective parent and lasts through their child’s first few months in a Montessori classroom.

  40. New Parent Orientation • Introductions: “What did you see in your first observation?” • Edison’s Day: “What did you notice?” • What aspects of the home environment allow Edison to be a full participant? • The components of a Montessori lesson • Brainstorming ways to involve their children • Practical advice for the first day • I’ll be there for you • Orientation to the school, it’s mission, governance and history • What to expect as a new parent

  41. Actual Quotes from New Parent Orientation • “It wasn’t chaos! Each child did as he wanted but without disrupting anyone else!” • “The toddlers were so focused, it kind of freaked me out!” • “Quiet, well-organized, with such respectful teachers.” • “The children were happily on task. I was surprised at the level of activities available.” • “From the youngest age they get experience in problem-solving. You let them figure it out on their own.” • “The children have the opportunity to explore with what appeals on any given day.” • “I noticed how the older children take care of the younger ones.” • “The teacher wasn’t involved with every child, but I had the sense she knew what each one was doing.”

  42. Start adding to the emotional bank account

  43. Teach by Teaching, Not by Correcting How often do we forget this dictum when dealing with parents? Too often we stand with arms crossed, glaring at a parent who is late, or doing too much for a child, or behaving in some other way that offends our Montessori sensibilities.

  44. Instead, we can let go of our inclination to correct and look for a later teachable moment.

  45. Allow time for self-paced development In general, we are much more patient with the children in our care than with their parents, aren’t we?

  46. Provide opportunity for active engagement Another human tendency is exploration, and we fully acknowledge the importance of it for children. And yet, how many of our events for parents are mostly lecture?

  47. Bed Rest Awake Tired Snooze Catnap Dream Wake Blanket Doze Slumber Snore Nap Night Peace Yawn Drowsy Daydream

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