Carnivals and Chainsaws By Irin Mahaparn and Keighty Lautz
The Commencement of the Adventure • You and your best friends are spending a day at the Brownsfield County Fair. It’s a scorching day, and the throngs of humanity only increase the heat more. Despite the hot weather, you plan on having a good time but no one can decide what to do first! Joe whips his map out of his fanny pack, studies it, and announces that the Botanical exhibit is closest. Jose groans and punches Joe in the arm. Joe says that he would much prefer to ride the Turbo Twister 3000 roller coaster. Joe rolls his eyes and reminds the group that the roller coaster had broken down. Jose’s eyes bugged out with the idea of investigating a broken coaster. • Juan plops down and whines. “I’m so hungry, guys! Can’t we get something to eat?” Joe was even more disgusted with the idea of the greasy food. That plan was vetoed. • Josephina pull back her dyed black hair, wipes her glistening brow, and complains about the heat. Her black attire is intolerant to the heat, so she votes for heading to the indoor plant exhibit. • John, always the agreeable one, says he will do whatever the rest of the group wants. • The group turns to you and asks for your input. Since you are the leader of the group, your friends will do whatever you want. • If you choose to go to the cool indoors to see the plants, go to slide 3 • If you feel up to a bit of an adrenaline rush, ride the roller coaster with Jose on slide 4.
The Botanical Exhibit • The indoor misters of the exhibit soothes your burning skin. Cool, fluorescent fixtures above cast a white sheen upon everything. All was silent, save for the hushed murmurs of several well-dressed gentlemen hunched over a potted shrub. Joe leads the group and pauses now and then to cast a comment on an obscure. Jose follows absently, ripping handfuls of leaves from the plants as they passed. Juan whimpers as he caught the scent of corndogs wafting in from the streets, while Josephina sighs in relief as she bends over a mister. John brings up the rear, clinging on to every word Joe spoke. You gaze around, mildly interested in the surrounding plants. A sudden movement catches your eye as you see the slightest shimmer of blue light from behind the elaborate papyrus display. You look over at your friends, Joe was exclaiming over a “rare speckled Peruvian daffodil”, and the others seemed preoccupied. What do you do? • -Turn to slide 5 to follow the light • -Turn to slide 6 to ignore it
On the Way… • Your curiosity of the rumored broken-down coaster overpowers you, and you lead the group to the Funland. You become a bit lost along the way because Jose keeps getting distracted by the games. He was lured into trying a basketball shooter game. Of course, he shot the ball perfectly into the hoop on his first try, winning a four foot tall teddy bear. He proudly carries his new burden around, bragging about his athletic skill to cute passersby. Soon, Joe spots the telltale orange loops that belong to the Turbo Twister 3000. Joe forgets his teddy bear and sprints to the ride. The ride isn’t working, and there is an indignant crowd standing at the ticket-taker’s booth. You push your way to the front of the crowd because there is a toothless middle-aged carny. He is trying to speak above the din of the angry fairgoers. • “The Turbo Twister 3000 will be running soon! We have had some…technical difficulties. If you will kindly wait patiently, the ride will be working in about half an hour.” • Josephina groaned at the thought of waiting in the blistering sun any longer, but she doesn’t complain. Most of the other waiters decide to leave, and you wonder whether or not you should, too. • If you decide to wait in line, go to page 26 • You’re growing too restless to stand around anymore. Go to page 27
Through the Veil • You follow the light eagerly, (botany just wasn’t your thing). The eerie blue sheen seems to be coming from behind a group of papyrus plants. Brushing them aside, you see a curious, luminescent veil before you. Feeling brave, you slide through. You open your eyes, and see that you are in a study of some sort. But an odd study at that. Everything appeared to be crafted of fine glass, exotic looking plants sprouting from odd places in the furniture. You turn to face an odder looking group staring expectantly at you. • “It took you long enough”. A long-eared jackrabbit in Gucci boots and a dress-suit exclaimed impatiently. Her companions-a parakeet and a Koala both in designer clothing- nodded in agreement. • “Er… I’m sorry…?” You stammer, catching a whiff of “Chanel Number 5”. • “Hmp. And you should be.” The rabbit replied and stood. “Our designer awaits you.” • -Turn to slide 7 to follow these classy critters • -Turn to slide 8 to run for it!
Jose’s Predicament • Deciding that the light was probably some exhibit prop, you continue, but not before hearing a startled yelp from Jose. Everyone spins around and gasps as they laid eyes upon Jose. Your friend made a loud gurgling sound, grasping his wrist. His hand was now swollen to twice its original size, angry, crimson welts rising before your eyes and popping with a wet crack within seconds. John yelps and leaps back as a welt popped, spraying him with yellow pus and speckles of blood. Jose whimpers and falls the ground. “Quick! Has he been touching any of the plants in the room?” Joe shouts. Josephina points wordlessly at the handful of leaves clenched in Jose’s fist. Joe pales. “He’s touched the leaves of the Poisonous Brazilian Vine!”Joe gasped. “Quick! Someone run and get help!” You know some techniques from a survival course years ago… what should you do? • -Go to slide 9 to run for help • -Go to slide 10 to try heal Jose
Into the Mercedes • The group steps into a marble hall and the jackrabbit holds up one manicured paw. A silver object lay in her palm. She pressed it twice and a loud, familiar beep echoed throughout the hall. A sleek, silver Mercedes convertible roars up, headlights flashing. The rabbit snaps on a pair of diamond studded sunglasses and steps into the driver’s seat, motioning for you to follow. Obediently, you slip into the back, the parakeet and the Koala following. The rabbit slams on the gas and the car lurches forward. You manage to glance out the window, seeing everything as a dark blur.The Mercedes gives another splurge of acceleration and the car flies from the ramp. You glance down, seeing the Fair below you. “I’m Foxy, by the way.” The rabbit said, glancing back. “Fred is expecting you.” • You decide to tell the truth and say “Er… who’s Fred?” –Slide 11 • You decide to act smart and say “Of course!”- Slide 12
Turn Tail and Run! • Fearing that you’d be stuck with a talking Easter Bunny and her perfumed Minions, you turn and run out the veil, only to find that you’re now in a different environment. You’re on stage, a single spotlight on you. It seems to be some sort of fancy affair, for the dark audience were dressed formally and a grand orchestra pit stretched before you. You gulp, sweat beading your forehead. “Um…” You begin, jumping as you heard your voice magnified across the room. The audience stares expectantly as you sweat. Your mind races, as you search for an explanation. Laughing nervously, glance around. • To do a Tap Dance or something! Turn to slide 15. • To run from the stage, turn to slide 16.
Medic! • Deciding that its best not to risk Jose’s life with your meager skills, you sprint out the door, giving your trembling friend one last glance. The packed streets were crammed as you fought through. “Medic!” You scream, but no one seems to hear. You begin to grow desperate as you wade through the sea of fair-goers. In a shady corner, a woman stood, her long raven hair shadowing her pale face, the type Josephina would like. She raised a luminescent, tattooed arm, pointed to a gap between two buildings, and disappeared into the crowd. You blink, not quite comprehending. What now? • To follow the mysterious woman’s directions, turn to page 17 • To Run on, turn to page 23
Relying on Your Skills • Trusting your knowledge, you bend down with a fistful of aloe and try to heal your friend. But Joe grabs your shoulder. “Its too late! The infection will release a gas soon and we’ll all catch it if we don’t run on!” He hollers over Jose’s loud convulsions. John looks absolutely petrified, but John and Josephina have already begun running. You spare one last glance at your friend before Joe grabs you away. You run into the streets, closing the door behind you. From the glass, you watch as the plants shrivel within seconds. Your group wander on, dazed. But not before Josephina lets out a hiss. You turn just in time to see a hooded man run towards you. Josephina begins to run, but falls. You, the furthest of the group turns to see what happened. The man holds up chainsaw, malice in his darkly sparkling eyes. The blades blur and glisten with the lifeblood of your slain comrade. Frozen, you watch as the sounds of metal biting through flesh commence, mixed with the sobs and screams of your friends. The man turns to you… • Turn to slide 19
Huh? • Deciding to be blunt, you ask the question you’ve been itching to ask. “Who’s Fred?” You blurt. Screech the Mercedes pulls to a stop –in midair, you note absently-. The look Foxy and the others gave you made you wish you haven’t asked such a question. “What…?!” Foxy began slowly. “Don’t tell me you don’t know who Fred is… Foxy sighed, and held up a silver pen. “I guess we’ll just have to get rid of you then, won’t we?” She began as the tip of the pen glowed blue. • “Oh! Fred! Yeah… of course I know him… Just playing with you guys….”- Slide 13 • “Yeah… Who is he anyways?” –Slide 25
Oh… that Fred… • Foxy relaxes with your confirmation and speeds up the car. Soon, you reach a tall building. Its reflective sides shone proudly under the sun, the company name too far up to read. Foxy checked in at a high-class lobby and you follow her up a glass elevator. At the very last floor, you enter a formal office, its plush, springy carpet giving you an extra bounce. “Fred.” Foxy announces and backs away. The spinning chair behind a large, mahogany spun around. In it, sat… Josephina! You gasp, backing away. • -Turn to slide14
Fred… yeah. • You laugh nervously, hoping they’d buy the lie. Foxy’s laser flared brilliantly, then dimmed. “Ah…” She said and tucked it away. “Welcome back, agent .0005467.” She said and hands you a pair of dark glasses. You blink. Apparently, you’ve spoken in some code of their society. You clear your throat. “Yeah… er… right.” To your surprise, Foxy laughs. You’ve been accepted as one of the crime fighting group… Life with them tends to be on the dangerous side (not just because Foxy always gets to drive), but its comfortable, and pays well. You decide to stay with them forever.
The Real Josephina • Your friend smiles maliciously. “No… Not Josephina.” She cackles and pulls away her human mask. A small, white lab mouse stares back at you, intelligent eyes twinkling. “Welcome to the Testing facility, my dear friend.” She whispers.
Tap Dancing with Chainsaws • Summoning what ever is left of your courage, you being to do a tap number… the only thing you were really good at. The audience stirred. Sweating, you begin to sing. “Oh I wish I were a lumberjack… er… sitting around all day.” In any other circumstances, you knew you’d die of embarrassment but the events of the day had left you with a light headed feeling and you immediately forget that you were even singing in front of an audience. The orchestra exchange glances, and struck up a tune to go along with your song. From the rafters, a buzz was heard. You look up, startled. A dozen whirring chainsaws were raining down on you. Was this a murder plan, or a prop? Screaming shrilly, you leap off the stage and into the audience. • -Turn to slide 18!
Run from the Stage! There was no way you would willingly speak for these people. You conclude and sprint off the stage. It was dark behind the curtains, and quiet. You realize with a start that there were no stage hands. Sighing in relief, you emerge from the curtains and poke around. Old costume, ancient concert posters, and out-dated equipment was strewn around. You frown and realize that you must have gotten transported behind the old auditorium at the fair grounds. A soft shuffle distracts you and you spin around, surprised. What do you do? -Explore of course, its that or go back on stage. –slide 24 -Hide! You don’t want to land in any more trouble! –Slide22
The Fortune Teller • You follow the mysterious woman’s directions, which leads on to a narrow street between two buildings. At the end, a shadowed tent was propped up. You brush past the entrance flap and enter. The interior is dimly lit and smoky. You gag on the over powering incense. It is bare of any furnishings, but a single wooden table. A woman sat before the table, eyes closed. Her wild, black hair was tied back with a beaded handkerchief and she was clad in loose, shimmering robes of the deepest blue. She opened her eyes and you see that they are a peculiar shade of amethyst. She smiles slightly and beckons you to come forth. You sit down before her and she asks for your palm. You give it to her and she examines it closely, and before she tells you of your future, she asks you this question: “Do you believe in magic?” • -”Of course!” – slide 21 • -Blah, she’s just a fake fair employee… “NO”. – Slide 20
Political Chaos • Congratulations. It turns out that you had been dancing on the stage of the Political Convention. You’ve proven more intelligent than all the candidates so far, (despite tap dancing and lumberjacks) and the nation decides to elect you as President.
Heaven • You must’ve been a good kid in your life… you decide. A moment of excruciating pain and ripped, bloodied flesh had led to a warm, peaceful afterlife. You kick back, and look down at your lifeless body… it isn’t so bad up here….
Revelation • “No?” The fortune teller raises her brow and clasped her hands, studying you for awhile with those piercing, violet eyes. After a length of time, she sighed. “Your future success, dear child, lies within the downfall of your friends. They shall be your step ladder to wealth and fame…” Her words continue to echo in your mind, despite your blunt reply to her question. • You walk back to the Botanical Garden where your friends awaited you. Jose is now unconscious and breathed in slow, shallow breaths. John looks at you in relief. “Thank goodness! Did you find a doctor?” He asked, stepping towards you. You smile. “Er… are you ok? I mean… um…” He pauses. Your grin widens insanely. By now the others are staring at you. Josephina pales and backs away. You step towards them, insanity plain on your face. You step closer, bringing forth a gleaming chainsaw. Its surface flashed in the light, the fortune teller’s face reflected in your eyes. • Back in her tent, the fortune teller leaned back and sighed. She had pulled another trick on a non-believer.
Apprenticeship • The fortune teller flashes you a bright smile at your honest words. “You are one of the gifted few.” She commented solemnly. You become her apprentice and travel with her gypsy band. Her legacy is carried on through you and you become known as “Znazeh the Seer”.
Hide! • You slowly back away into the curtains, afraid to even breathe. You jump suddenly as your arm brushes something cold and skin-like. You turn, only to see the dim outline of John, who must’ve come looking for you. Josephina is right behind him. How they ended up back stage, you do not know. They stare at you with wide , frightened eyes. John lets out a slight sob, while Josephina manages a quick eye roll, despite her petrified condition. The footsteps drew closer, heavy and slow. A beam of light sweeping the area. You shrink back, afraid to move. “Don’t say a thing.” Josephina growls. No sooner than she had said that, John sneezes, the choking dust of the curtains getting the best of him. You suck in your breath and prepare to run. The curtain is drawn to the side, and you shrink away as the lights shine on you. A burly security guard stares down at you, scowling with displeasure. • You are permanently banned from ever returning to the County fair, and Josephina has held a grudge against John for years after the incident. You’ve never really gotten over that fateful day either…
Deadly Doctors • Rather than trust the woman’s directions, you decide to run on. Seeking out a medic was harder than it seemed, and you grew desperate. After one last holler, a voice answers. “Here! I’m a doctor!” A fairgoer replies and runs up to you. The two of you run back to the Botanical Garden. (You notice that the old gentlemen there had done nothing to help Jose and were too busy mourning the destruction of the plant). After quick introductions, the doctor sets to work. “So Juan’s sick?” he muttered and sprayed Juan with an eerie blue chemical, (one that would be deadly on a human, but would undo the plant’s deadly effect). Juan slumps over, dead. “Whoops… not Juan, was it Josephina then?” And before you can stop him, he turns to you friend and sprays over. Josephina collapses. “Er.. no, who was it then? Ah! Joe!” He turns swiftly to Joe, who received the same treatment. “Then it must be John!” The doctor turned to John, who died on the spot. “Hmp. It must be Jose then!” He turns to the already dead Jose. “Whoops… I let that one slip through my hands.” He chuckled. • You decide to sue the ‘doctor’ for murdering all your friends, and neglecting Juan. You win the case and despite having no more friends, you’re now a multi millionaire.
Carl McBugger • Feeling brave, you decide to explore the noise. You soon come face to face with a familiar figure. The prowler was Carl McBugger, the newest rising star in pop culture! You never liked any of his albums, but was nevertheless awed by his presence. The pop star smelled heavily of cigarettes and bad cologne, and gives you an annoyed look. “Kid, you’re on the set of my newest music video… are you the new extra?” He asked and brushed aside without giving you a single glance. A team of 20 or so crew men and directors followed him onto the stage. The act required juggling chainsaws on stage, a stunt which Carl required you to do. You accidentally wreck the stage and earned Carl’s eternal grudge. Sucks for you.
Nooo! • Foxy’s face darkens in anger. “Ladies, we’ve got the wrong kid.” She whispers. The group threatens you with designed chainsaws and you are forced to jump from the plane. Luckily, you land on a soft tent. But unluckily, it was the fair entertainer’s dressing room. Luckily, you manage to disguise yourself. But Unluckily, you are found out. Luckily, the security guard that caught you was Juan’s dad. Unluckily, Juan’s mom was one of the entertainers terrorized by your fall. Luckily, Juan shows up and sorts things out. Unluckily, Josephina also shows up and blames Juan. Well, now its Juan’s problem. Lets leave it at that.
In Line • You and your friends are so eager to ride the Turbo Twister 3000 that you decide to wait in line as the coaster is repaired. Several technicians (all with beer bellies and long hair) tinker around with various hinges and buttons. Many of those in the crowd decide that the ride must not be worth the wait, so they leave. There is a young couple standing in front of you who look as if they will go insane if they do not ride the coaster soon. Seeing their excitement only increases yours. However, Josephina isn’t looking well. She seems even paler than usual, and she has stopped perspiring because she has run out of sweat. She reports feeling a little woozy. At that moment, one of the technicians announces that the Turbo Twister 3000 is up-and-running, but Josephina’s dehydrated scowl is desperate. • -If you accuse Josephina of being a drama queen and tell her to toughen up for the ride, jump to page 28. • -If you decide to move out of line so as to find some shade and water for your thirsty pal, go to slide 29.
Corndogs • You’ve ridden a million roller coasters before, and the Turbo Twister 3000 doesn’t look like anything special. Juan is famished and Josephina needs something to drink, so you decide to head over to the food court. The scent of barbequed meat and funnel cakes tantalizes your palate, but Joe frowns at the unhealthy food options. Josephina bought a bottle of water and thirstily gulped it down. Joe plunks down at a table next to her as the rest of you rush off to find proper munchies. The food lines are long, and you decide that you aren’t really so hungry after all. Instead, you have to use the restroom. There is a row of Port-a-Potties a near the food court, but they look strangely deserted. You really have to pee, but you feel a bit of apprehension about venturing off alone. • -If nature is simply calling too loudly and you decide to rush off to the bathroom, go to slide 32. • -If you choose to look for a less-eerie restroom with your friends, go to slide 33.
Zooooooooom • You can tell that Josephina is up to her usual exaggeration and hop into the roller coaster car right behind her with the rest of your friends. Something doesn’t feel quite right as the carnie casts a wild glance and tells you to hold on tightly. The rickety roller coaster lurches forward and begins accelerating. It zooms through loops and turns at top speed. To your horror, you notice that the track beneath the cars is creaking and bending. Suddenly, the track breaks! You can hear all five of your best friends screaming wildly as you sail through the air. You find it odd that gravity hasn’t started to pull you down, but you are distracted by the fact that you are sailing through the air at 100 mph. Joe, the practical one, holds his spread-out sweatshirt above his head parachute-style and jumps out of the car. -If you decide to follow him, go to slide 30. • - If you prefer to remain in the relative safety of the roller coaster car, flip to slide 31.
Deadly Fiber • You decide that the Turbo Twister 3000 is less important than your friend’s health, so you decide to look for a bench on which to rest. Because of the huge crowd, you are forced to walk around for awhile before you can find a place to sit. By the time you are able to relax, Josephina is unable to stand up and must lean against John and Juan for support. As her eyes drift closed, her white make-up and black attire make her look like a zombie. • Wait a sec, you think. She IS a zombie! Josephina has obviously regained her stamina because she stands stiffly, like a soldier. She starts to mumble, but you can’t determine what she is saying. Before you know it, she grabs a celery stick from her back pocket and brandishes it malevolently. She jabs Joe and Juan aggressively with her weapon, causing deep wounds. Josephina the Zombie starts to lumber away, but you and Jose capture her easily. She stabs you in the eyes with the celery stick and then shoves it down your throat, choking you. Your sane friends try to rescue you, but Josephina is too strong. Your face turns blue. You lose consciousness. • THE END
Parachute • Joe usually has the best ideas, so you follow him by jumping from the car. You plummet down for hours, sailing past birds, rainbows, clouds, hurricanes. You shout at Joe, who has not yet acknowledged your presence. He hears your call and turns around. Immediately, his expression changes to one of nausea and fury. “What are you doing here? You were supposed to die with the rest of them!” he shrieked. • It becomes obvious to you that your “friend” was conspiring to kill you all along. Luckily, you have a candy apple in your pocket, so you whip that out and hit Joe over the head. He loses consciousness for a moment, then reopens his eyes and pulls your hair. The two of you struggle for a few minutes, but a proper fight is impossible given the setting. Just as you get used to the pit feeling in your stomach, you look down. Your mouth falls open as you see the Earth, the ground, the bottom. Kersplat. You’re dead. The End
Black Holes and Chainsaws • You decide that your best bet is to stay strapped in. Although there is no track, the car loops and twirls up, up, up. It soars forever, past flocks of birds and cumulus clouds. You look around at the rest of your friends and they are all giggling with exhilaration. You can’t see the ground below you, and it appears as though you are leaving the atmosphere. Suddenly, the air becomes very cold and you are floating in the middle of space. Your body bounces around because there is no gravity. All at once, the calm mood shifts because there is a lunatic with a chainsaw floating right behind you! You swim through the air and begin to get sucked in to a dark, swirling mass. The Black Hole is creepy at first, but then you get used to the compressed-tornado feeling. The Hole crushes the lunatic, and you and your friends live happily ever after exploring the depths of the Black Hole. THE END
Tinkle Tinkle • You pee. You make it out alive. However, there seemed to be a slight humming coming from the toilet paper dispenser…. Oh well, you think. Stranger things have happened at the county fair. THE END
Toilet Fear • Normally, you aren’t afraid of toilets, but these Port-a-Potties seem a little creepy. You decide to go on a quest for a restroom that gives off a better vibe. However, you have to pee so badly that you simply cannot hold it in any longer. You wet your pants right in front of the most attractive looking person you have ever seen. You die a merciless death of embarrassment. THE END