Family Infrastructure

1. Family Infrastructure Divorce

2. Presenters • Chaz Washington • Lena Nance • R. Tyson Creager • Eugene Kwak • Brandon Aldus

3. Topics • Before Divorce and Marital Conflict • After Divorce • Reactions Long and Short Term • Single Parent Households • Remarriage

4. Before Divorce. Conflict! • Divorce occurs in many stages • Stage one: Discontent of One Party

5. Before Divorce. Conflict! • Stage Two: Expression of Dissatisfaction • Children begin to notice that something is wrong • How are they affected?

6. Before Divorce. Conflict! • Stage three: Deciding to Get Divorced • This stage is most detrimental to children

7. Before Divorce. Conflict! • Stage four: Acting on Decision • Children Feel Responsible • Children Feel they Have to Choose Sides

8. After Divorce -Crisis and Reorganization -Reactions -Statistics

9. After Divorce • Crisis and Reorganization • A crisis period of a year or more… • The mother • Reactions to divorce • Results of reactions • The father • Their reactions

10. After Divorce • The children • Reactions to the divorce • Parent/child relationship during crisis phase • Child’s emotional distress • Adult’s ineffective parenting styles • Described as a vicious circle

11. After Divorce • Statistics • Meta-analyses of studies conducted between 1950 and 1999… • Over 1 million children in the United States experience parental divorce annually

12. Reactions Long and Short Term • What Causes Stress for Children? • Loss of Parental attachment • True and False Abandonment • Coping

13. What Causes Stress for Children? • Distress – of parents • Less sleep, less anger management, compulsive/obsessive behaviors, memory problems… • Grief – of parents • Over loss of marriage and partner in life. • Preoccupation – of parents • Lose focus on family

14. What Causes Stress for Children? II • Self Esteem – of children • problems developing a sense of their own identity • Irritability – of children and parents • Lack of understanding & life changes • Separation Anxiety – of children and parents • Clinical, social, and academic disturbances

15. Loss of Parental Attachment • Factors for children • Gender • Males • boys in divorced families had more adjustment problems than did girls. • Females • Plain cope with divorce better

16. Loss of Parental Attachment:Factors for children II • Age • Infants • React to missing parent and energy level. • Toddlers • Start expressing empathy towards 1 parent • Preschool • Recognize loss of love & parental absence • Preteens & adolescents • Understand the meaning of divorce

17. Single Parenting

18. Topics • Statistics • Myths • Strengths • Positives • Potential Problems

19. Interesting Facts 16,000,000 56%

20. Single Parenting around the US

21. Myths MYTH: Children who grow-up in a single-parent household are more likely to struggle in school, get into trouble with the law and develop serious social problems. FACT: Single parents have raised many well-rounded, successful people. MYTH: Children from single parent homes will never have healthy relationships themselves. FACT: Children of divorced parents seem to put more energy into maintaining their relationships.

22. Myths MYTH: Children of single parents need role models. The sooner the parent remarries the better. FACT: Children benefit from the presence of both men and women in their family life BUT provided those men and women are emotionally healthy. MYTH: Children of single parents have lower self-esteem. FACT: Children of single parents are no more likely to suffer from low self-esteem than their peers from a two-parent home.

23. Positive Qualities • Flexibility • Interdependence • Strengths

24. Potential Problems • Effects upon the children of continued conflict between parents • Decrease in the amount of time parents and children can spend together • Disruptions in extended family relationships • Adverse reactions to parents dating and entering new relationships • Economic pressure from single parent income

25. Remarriage • Statistics • 75% of Men/ 66% of Women will remarry • 1300 new Step Families every day • 50% of all families • 66% divorce when children involved • Divorce rate 10% higher in subsequent marriages • What Does This Mean?

26. Remarriage Early Stages • (Less than two years) • Honeymoon Period • Still adapting to new situation • Girls • Conflict high with both parents • Boys Initially difficult, more adaptive than girls

27. Remarriage Later Stage • ( More than two years) • Family roles worked through and established • Girls • Improved, still more behavior problems than comparison groups. • Boys • Warmth and involvement with Stepfather • Less problems What Causes This Change?

28. Remarriage Age Effects • Children 8 and Younger • Easiest time coping • New family can be a releif • Early Adolescence (9-15) • Most Difficult • So many developments taking place in their own lives • Older Adolescents (16+) • Future Oriented, Anticipate leaving home

29. Remarriage Parents • Conflicts over managing Finances • Child rearing • Ambiguity as a Stepparent • Super Step Parenting • Authoritative parenting early on associated with negative effects • Stepmother is most harmful • Expectation of Father • Negative reaction of Children

30. Remarriage Best Bet • Polite Strangers • Take it easy initially, Establish a solid relationship first. • Authoritative, effective parenting later as relationship has progressed

31. Conclusion • Divorce is not a quick process it occurs in many different stages • During divorce you experience both emotional and practical difficulties witch can occur for more than a year where the lives of all family members are affected • Many reactions can come from the negative effects of divorce, but most of them can be overcome by stressing support from people close to affect members of the family

32. Conclusion II • The best approach as a single parent is to model self-respect and self-nurturance, and to establish a support network • Majority of those who go through a divorce will eventually remarry. However remarried families are often more difficult for individual adaptation.