Writing good Introductions

1. Writing good Introductions Objective: Create effective “lead-ins” and thesis statements

2. How to begin our essays

3. Beginning the introduction • We can think of the introduction as being composed of three parts: • 1. the Interest catcher (lead-in, hook, attention grabber etc.) • 2. The thesis • 3. “Essay Map” • The beginning of the essay is important because it creates a “first impression” for the reader. • We use interest catchers to start and serve the purpose of: • 1. catching the attention of the reader • 2. announcing the subject of the essay and establishes a tone • 3. sets up the presentation of your thesis and essay map • Handout 1: “Suggestions for good ‘lead-ins’”

4. Common Mistakes with Lead-Ins

5. Lead-in must introduce thesis • We must have a clear transition from the interest catcher to the thesis statement. Examine the following example: “In the 1950s African Americans demanded the right to sit anywhere they pleased on public buses. Today, Americans who use wheelchairs are fighting for the right to board those same buses. Here in Smallville, the lack of proper boarding facilities often denies disabled citizens basic transportation to jobs, grocery stores, and medical centers. To give people in wheelchairs the same opportunities as other residents, the City Council should vote the funds necessary to convert the public transportation system.”

6. Keep your lead-in “to the point” • Use a brief attention-getting hook to set up your thesis. DO NOT make the introduction the largest part of your paper

7. Do not apologize or complain • Avoid saying things like: • “It’s difficult to find much information on this topic…” • “This controversy is hard to understand, but…” • We are doing nothing to entice our readers if we are not being decisive.

8. Do not assume your audience has knowledge of the topic • Identify the facts even though your audience (me) may already know them. This is especially true when you have the writing prompt given to you. The biggest problem with the bill is…. Well, what bill?

9. Avoid tired Interest Catchers…. • The two most overused interest catchers are: • The dictionary definition (I did not mention this earlier)…AVOID USING THIS ONE AT ALL COSTS! • The rhetorical question…ONLY USE THIS IN A CREATIVE WAY AND WHEN IT IS CLEARLY THE BEST CHOICE FOR YOUR TOPIC!

10. Thesis Statements: Part Deux The controlling idea of the entire essay.

11. Good thesis statements state the writer’s opinion on a subject • Poor: “Many people have different opinions on whether people under the age of twenty-one should be permitted to drink alcohol, and I agree with some of them.” • Poor: “The question of whether we need a national law governing the minimum age to drink alcohol is a controversial issue in many states.” • Poor: “I want to give my opinion on the national law that sets twenty-one as the legal minimum age to purchase and consume alcohol.” • Better: “The legal minimum age for purchasing alcohol should be eighteen rather than twenty-one.” • Better: “To reduce the number of highway fatalities, the United States needs to enforce the national law that designates twenty-one as the legal minimum age to purchase and consume alcohol.”

12. Assert one main idea • Poor: “The proposed no-smoking ordinance in St. Edward will violate a number of citizens’ civil rights, and no one has proved that secondhand smoke is dangerous anyway.” • Better: “The proposed no-smoking ordinance in St. Edward will violate the citizens’ civil rights.” • Poor: “ High school athletes should not have to maintain a “B” or better grade-point average in all subjects to participate in school sports, and the value of sports for some students is often overlooked.” • You fix the second thesis…

13. Have something worthwhile to say • Poor: Dogs have always been man’s best friends. • Poor: Friendship is a wonderful thing. • Poor: The food in my dorm is horrible. • Also: You want to attempt to universalize your topic in order not to make it too personal…*This is one reason we write in third person. • Poor: I don’t like to take courses that are held in big lecture classes at this school. • Better: Large lecture classes provide a poor environment for the student who learns best through interaction with both teachers and peers.

14. Limit your thesis to fit the assignment • Poor: “Nuclear power should be banned as an energy source in this country.” • Better: “Because of its poor safety record during the past two years, the Collin County nuclear power plant should be closed.” • Poor: “The parking permit system at this college should be completely revised.” • Better: “Because of the complicated application process, the parking permit system at this college penalizes disabled students.”

15. State your thesis in specific terms • Poor: “The women’s movement is good for the country.” • Better: “The Colorado Women’s Party is working to ensure the benefits of equal pay for equal work for both males and females in the state.” • Poor: “Registration is a big hassle.” • Better: “Registration’s alphabetical fee-paying system is inefficient.”

16. Eliminate errors with thesis statements

17. Don’t make your thesis an announcement of your subject • Poor: “The subject of this essay is my experience with a pet boa constrictor.” • I’m going to discuss… • Better: “Boa constrictors do not make healthy indoor pets.” • Note: This goes right along with not using phrases like “in my opinion,” “I believe,” and “in this essay I will argue that.” When you speak, don’t look timid or unsure. Speak directly and with conviction toward your opinion. • Poor: “My opinion is that the federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.” • Better: “The federal government should devote more money to solar research.”

18. Avoid being unreasonable • Poor: “Radical religious fanatics across the nation are trying to impose their right-wing views by censoring high school library books.” • Better: “Only local school board members—not religious leaders or parents—should decide which books high school libraries should order.” • Poor: “Too many corrupt books in our high school libraries selected by liberal, atheistic educators are undermining the morals of our youth.” • Better: “To ensure that high school libraries contain books that reflect community standards, parents should have a voice in selecting new titles.”

19. Don’t just state facts • Poor: “Child abuse is a terrible problem.” • Better: “Child-abuse laws in Nebraska are too lenient for repeat offenders.” • Poor: “Advertisers often use attractive models in their ads to sell products.” • Better: “Although long criticized for its negative portrayal of women in television commercials, the auto industry is just as often guilty of stereotyping men as brainless idiots unable to make a decision.”

20. Do not express the thesis in the form of a question • Poor: “Why should every college student be required to take two years of a foreign language?” • Better: “Chemistry majors should be exempt from the foreign-language requirement.”

21. The Essay Map The essay map is a brief statement in the introductory paragraph introducing the major points to be discussed in the essay.

22. Function of the essay map. • 1. it allows the reader in advance to know in advance where the writer will be taking the paper. • 2. Provides guidelines for organizing the essay. • 3. Keeps you from wandering off point into areas that do not pertain to your thesis.

23. Essay Map Examples • “The Study Skills Center is an excellent place for first-year students to receive help with basic courses. The Center’s numerous free services, well trained tutors, and variety of supplementary learning materials can often mean the difference between academic success and failure for many students.” • “The library’s reserve facility is badly managed. Its unpredictable hours, poor staffing, and inadequate space discourage even the most dedicated students.”

24. More Essay Map Examples • “Because of its free services, well-trained tutors, and useful learning aids, the Study Skills Center is an excellent place for students seeking academic help.” • “Unreasonable hours, poor staffing, and inadequate space make the library reserve facility difficult to use.” • Note: Avoid sounding to mechanical when using an essay map: • Poor:“The Study Skills Center is a helpful place for three reasons. The reasons are its free services, good tutors, and lots of learning materials.” • Better: “Numerous free services, well-trained tutors, and a variety of useful learning aids make the Study Skills Center a valuable campus resource.”