First Impressions

First Impressions I learned one day that you can never trust your first impressions. Sarah had set me up on a blind date with Benny. I didn't really want to go, but when I talked to him on the phone, he seemed nice enough, so I agreed. I was all dressed up and thinking we'd be going somewhere nice. That's what he had told me on the phone. I was all nervous because I didn't know what he looked like, what he would be like, or if he would even like me. It was really hard for me to go out with a guy I didn't know.

When he finally got there, I saw that his car was old and rusty. It was really ugly. He walked up to my door, and I saw that he was not dressed very well, not at all as nicely as I was. It looked as if he needed a shower. I knew I had made a big mistake in agreeing to go on this date. He was obviously an insensitive slob. I was pretty sure we weren't going anywhere nice. Just when I thought he was a big jerk, he opened the car door for me and told me that he was going to change his clothes before dinner. He was a really nice guy. I felt a lot better and thought that we would probably get along just fine. I was really wrong about him. It's true what they say: You can't judge a book by its cover!

Beneath All That Rust I heard his car before I actually saw it. My heart sank, and I wiped my sweating palms on my freshly pressed dress. I looked into the mirror and saw the worry in my own eyes, but other than that, my hair and makeup were perfect. As the chugging, pounding sound outside my house grew louder, I stared out the window at the rusted pile of car parts that was once an Oldsmobile 88. Benny, a boy I'd never met before and had only spoken to once on the phone, sat behind the wheel. As he turned off the engine, a huge black puff of smoke flew out of the exhaust. I stood my ground, paralyzed with shock at the thought of sitting inside that old rattletrap of an Olds.

Finally, Benny stepped out of the car. I went numb when I saw he was wearing a Baltimore Orioles cap, a tattered Lollapalooza T-shirt, cutoff shorts, and muddy work shoes. I looked conspicuously at my own new dress, stockings, and heels. I was way overdressed! I was sure the date would be a disaster, envisioning myself at the Seven-Eleven eating a frozen burrito and sipping daintily on a cherry slushy. Even so, when he knocked, I walked down the hall, like a prisoner trudging to certain death, and opened the door. "Hey Melissa," he said. "Ready to go?“ I blinked at him in response. I thought, I'm going to kill Sarah for setting me up on this blind date with Conan the Horrible. "Gonna be a big night," he said and sauntered to the waiting Olds as I followed him, wondering why I had answered the door, wondering why I was going on this date.

“I hope you don't mind. I need to swing by my place and shower and change. I just got off work, and I didn't want to be late." He gave me a brilliant smile, and for the first time, I noticed how cute he was. "That's fine," I said. "Nice car." "Thanks," he replied. With a clatter, we moved away from the curb. "Well, it's a work in progress, you could say. You never can tell what's underneath all that rust and rumbling." I nodded and smiled. I knew exactly what he meant. Taken from The Writer's Options, 7th ed., Morenberg and Sommers.

What differences do see between the two selections? Which one is showing and which one is telling? Which one do you prefer? Why?

Showing vs. Telling This lesson makes the point that good writing paints scenes with details that appeal to the senses. There are usually plenty of opportunities to show rather than tell. When you add details, you sharpen images, making your writing more vivid. When you convert telling statements to showing statements, you enable readers to share in your experiences.

Both of the previous examples are narration, but this idea of showing can be applied to other types of writing. In a research paper, don’t just claim that the U.S. is no longer the country with the most college graduates. Give specific examples to SHOW that Norway and Great Britain have a graduation rate of more than 34%, but the U.S. has 32.9%.

Now you try it… • The radio blared. • The kitten was playful. • The fireworks were spectacular.

For homework… Look through the first draft of your papers and find five TELLING statements. Add specific SHOWING details to each example. Any questions?

First Impressions