Developing the draft

1. Developing the draft Eloquence, Evidence, Effectiveness

2. Sample supporting detail • Primarily, the actions taken by Curley’s wife lead to the tragic ending because she ruin’s Candy’s dreams, tempts Lennie, and seeks attention that gets her in trouble. Even though she dies a terrible death, Curley’s wife’s tragic ending creates even more heartache for the other characters in the story, she is to blame. When Candy finds her dead in the barn, he scorns her very existence cause “His eyes blinded with tears and he turned and went weakly out of the barn, and he rubbed his bristly whiskers with his wrist stump.” (pg. 96). As you can see from this quote, Candy’s weakness as he leaves the barn parallels his inferior position in life and how he can’t fulfill his dreams. Because she persists in talking to Lennie, Curley’s wife creates a tragedy that leaves other characters like Candy feeling hopeless, defeated, and depressed.

3. Identify elements & errors • 1. Put a box around transitional phrases. • 2. Circle any and all errors. • 3. Put a star next to the topic sentence. • 4. Underline the sentence(s) that prove the argument. • 5. Put two underlines beneath the lead-in to the quote.

4. Now that’s better… • Primarily, the actions taken by Curley’s wife lead to the tragic ending because she ruins Candy’s dreams, tempts Lennie, and seeks negative attention. Even though she dies a terrible death, Curley’s wife’s tragic ending creates even more heartache for the other characters in the story. When Candy finds her dead in the barn, he scorns her very existence and “His eyes blinded with tears and he turned and went weakly out of the barn, and he rubbed his bristly whiskers with his wrist stump” (96). Candy’s weakness as he leaves the barn parallels his inferior position in life and the futility of his dreams. Because she persists in talking to Lennie, Curley’s wife creates a tragedy that leaves other characters like Candy feeling hopeless, defeated, and depressed.

5. The SINFUL SIXTEEN • Has • Have • Had • Was • Were • Being • Be • Been • Is • Are • Am • Could • Would • Should • Get/Gone • Thing/Stuff

6. Partner practice With a partner, create a detailed lead-in and proper citation for the following quote. Be prepared to share with class. • Speaker: Crooks to Lennie • Page #: 74 • “I seen hundreds of men come by on the road an’ on the ranches, with their bindles on their back an’ that same damn thing in their heads . . . every damn one of ’em’s got a little piece of land in his head. An’ never a God damn one of ’em ever gets it. Just like heaven.”

7. Let’s Review… • Every body paragraph has a topic sentence. • Concluding Sentence • For each of your 3 supporting details, you need the following: • Statement that introduces the example in your own words. • A quote bookended by a lead-in and an internal citation. • A TWO sentence explanation connecting the quote to your argument. How many transition words per body paragraph? 5. This puts us between 13-15 sentences per body paragraph.

8. Reminders • Typed draft due Friday 9/27, even if you’re absent. Print it out or share with me. • Intro/Conclusion techniques tomorrow. • Write in present tense. • Beware of the sinful 16. • Final copy due October 1, even if you’re absent. • Google Drive: 7_Ryan_OMAM • CDT test due this Friday, 9/27. • Yes, we will watch the movie next week.

9. Application • Use the rest of the period to work on the draft of your body paragraphs. • Utilize this opportunity to conference with me.