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Why a good marriage works:. Why a good marriage works:. Difficult for me - personal Students remember this more than any other presentation “Thank you – I have never seen what a good marriage is like”. Symbols of love & the marriage are important. The rose Rings. The story of the rose.
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Why a good marriage works: • Difficult for me - personal • Students remember this more than any other presentation • “Thank you – I have never seen what a good marriage is like”
Symbols of love & the marriage are important • The rose • Rings
Rose story • In our house today.. • We met in church… • Parents’ rose bush • 1st. Date – Suit of armor – Head on shoulder • Every week … every month … once a month • Daddy, can I get Mommy’s rose? • Sent rose FTD • One son tried it…
Rings • 10 year ring • 25 year ring • 40 year ring – Custom made • At the Acropolis in Athens Greece • Rose gold • 40 pink diamonds • Ruby for each child About 50 stones – too heavy
History • Together every day since we were teenagers • Her memories are my memories • Travel - TajMahal, Pyramids, Golden Pagota, Acropolis, Tower of London, Red square, MyanPramids of Chetznetsia, Eifel tower, Great wall… • Movies
Marry someone like yourself • Homogamy = Like marries like • Age, Race, Religion, Education social class = similar attitudes etc. • Personalities • Both quiet • We never asks for anything – No “To do” lists • I always spend money on her – never myself • Clothes - vase • Heterogamy = Opposites attract • Wants to be taken care of & want to care for • Both needy & both dominate doesn’t work
Make the other person feel important • Good night – love you – I know… love you to • Good morning – how are you feeling? • Waving good-by • How can I help you? • Fight the world, but never each other
Experiences create intimacy and bonding • Births – 1st. Child – 2nd child – 3rs. child • Deaths – Parents - sister • Surgeries – She had • Breast Cancer – right side – left side • Tubal legation • Gaul bladder • Hysterectomy • Breast reduction • Carpel tunnel surgery • Knee surgery • My detached retina surgery
Other important items: • Body & stable personality • Overweight • Diabetes • Sleep aptnea (trouble breathing) • Depression (chemical) • Knees hurt • Back hurts • Shoulder hurts • Honesty - Never lied • Trust– Red ball • Communication – Santa Ana park • Criticism – Any fool
Other important items: • Find out what the other person wants and help them get it. • Preschool • Time by themselves or others • “Go with the flow” • Willow tree bends and does not break
Dealing with differences • Accept the other person as they are • Don’t try to change them • Exception = Drugs, alcohol, emotional or physical abuse, anything that reduces your respect for yourself – just leave • Messy vs. neat • T.V. & reading