Children’s Hearings Practice, Recognition and Modernisation Seminar

1. Children’s Hearings Practice, Recognition and Modernisation Seminar Understanding the Dynamics of Domestic Abuse

2. Children’s Rights (UNCRC) • Underpinned by 4 principles: • Non – discrimination rights (Article 2) • Best Interests of the Child (Article 3) • The Right to Life, Survival and Development (Article 6) • The views of the Child (Article 12)

4. Help & Support • Men’s Advice Line – 0808 801 0327 • www.respect.uk.net/pages/advice-support-for-male-victims.html • Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 027 1234 • www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk • www.lgbtdomesticabuse.org.uk

5. What domestic abuse is and isn’t Situational Couple Violence – Perpetrated in equal numbers by men and women Violence that is expressive Intimate Terrorism – Perpetrated overwhelmingly by men violence that is functional/instrumental Violent Resistance. Perpetrated overwhelmingly by women (Michael Johnson)

6. Voice Against Violence Campaign

7. Reframing Domestic Abuse? • Not primarily a crime of violence but a liberty crime – a lack of space for action. • Experienced as on-going not as ‘repeat victimisation’ • Violence as a tool (the least perfect tool?) with threat, isolation, micro-management etc • Functional violence • Crosses social & temporal space • Coercive control or intimate terrorism

13. Patrick Stewart’s memories... • “imagine living in an environment of emotional unpredictability, danger and humiliation week after week, year after year, from the age of seven. My childish instinct was to protect my mother, but the man hurting her was my father, whom I respected, admired and feared... I would be in bed but not asleep. I could never sleep until he did; while he was awake we were all at risk. Instead, I would listen for his voice, singing, as he walked home. Certain songs were reassuring: I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen; I'll Walk Beside You . . . But army songs were not a good sign. And worst of all was silence. When I could only hear footsteps it was the signal to be super-alert... Our house was small, and when you grow up with domestic violence in a confined space you learn to gauge, very precisely, the temperature of situations. I knew exactly when the shouting was done and a hand was about to be raise”

14. Exercise 2 • Living in fear: children’s experiences of domestic abuse

15. Not witness to... • “children and young people are not merely passive onlookers in families where there is domestic violence: they are actively involved in seeking to make meaning of their experiences and in dealing with difficult and terrifying situations which confront them” • Laing 2000

16. Roles Children May Assume • Caretaker • Pawn • Forced witness to violent acts • Message carrier • Secret keeper • Shame bearer • Target – including in utero • Mother’s confidant • Abuser’s confidant • Abuser’s ally • Perfect child • Referee • Scapegoat

18. Some Coping Strategies • Mental blocking or disconnecting emotionally • Making it better through fantasy • Physical avoidance • Looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places • Taking charge through caretaking • Reaching out for help • Crying out for help • Re-directing emotions into positive activities • Trying to predict, prevent or control the behaviour of an abuser.

19. Protective Factors • “research data seriously challenges over-pathologising all children living with domestic violence” Humphreys & Houghton • Mother’s ability to maintain parenting • Family support • Community support • Mother’s mental health • Safe & secure environment

20. Exercise 3 • Barriers to children’s voices being heard.

21. ‘In domestic abuse a child’s voice may be repressed’ “Grown ups think they should hide it and shouldn’t tell us, but we want to know. We want to be involved and we want our mums to talk with us about what they are going to do – we could help make decisions.”

22. 20.‘Capable of forming his or her own views’ should not be seen as a limitation, but as an obligation for state parties to assess capacity of the child to form an autonomous opinion...it is not up to the child to first prove or disprove his or her capacity.’ (General Comment No 12. 2009, Committee on the Rights of the Child)

23. ‘…requires that the child be informed about the matters options and possible decisions to be taken and their consequences…The right information is essential, because it is the precondition of the child’s clarified decision.’ (General Comment No 12. 2009, Committee on the Rights of the Child)

24. Views of the Child (Article 12) and Best Interest of the Child (Article 3) 74. ‘There is no tension between articles 3 and 12…in fact there can be no correct application of article 3 if the components of article 12 are not respected. ‘ (General Comment No 12. 2009, Committee on the Rights of the Child)

25. Our challenges • Avoiding the creation of a dichotomy between the needs of non-abusing parent and children • Avoiding stigmatising children and young people exposed to violence and abuse • Maintaining a focus on the responsibility of the perpetrator of violence and abuse. • Laing 2000

26. Going forward... • What do you need to further inform your domestic abuse knowledge? • What tools/resources could be provided to aid safe decision making on this issue? • How can the voices of children be best heard and considered?