Revising Weak Paragraphs

1. Revising Weak Paragraphs Revise the italicized portions of the following paragraphs taken from award winning novels.

2. ~from H. G. Wells’ The Time Machine • So far as I could see, all the place ___________ displayed the same brightness _______________ as the Thames valley. From every hill I climbed I saw the same amount __________________ of good _________________ buildings, different _________________ in material and style, the same group __________________ of evergreens, the same beautiful _____________ trees and tree-ferns. Here and there water sparkled ____________________, and beyond, the land rose into rolling __________________ hills, and so faded into the peace ______________ of the sky. A different __________________ feature, which presently attracted my attention, was the presence of certain round _________________ wells, several, as it seemed to me, of a very great depth.

3. H. G Wells Continued • One lay by the path up the hill, which I had followed during my first walk. Like the others, it was covered ______________ with bronze, strangely made _____________________, and protected by a little dent ______________ from the rain. Sitting by the side of these wells, and looking ______________ down into the shafted darkness, I could see no sparkle _____________ of water, nor could I start any reflection with a lighted match. But in all of them I heard a certain sound: a thud-thud-thud, like the beating of some big ________________ engine; and I discovered, from the light _____________ of my matches, that a steady current of air set down the shafts. Further, I threw a piece ___________________ of paper into the middle ______________ of one, and, instead of falling __________________ slowly down, it was at once sucked swiftly out of sight.

4. So far as I could see, all the world displayed the same exuberant richness as the Thames valley. From every hill I climbed I saw the same abundance of splendid buildings, endlessly varied in material and style, the same clustering thickets of evergreens, the same blossom-laden trees and tree-ferns. Here and there water shone like silver, and beyond, the land rose into blue undulating hills, and so faded into the serenity of the sky. A peculiar feature, which presently attracted my attention, was the presence of certain circular wells, several, as it seemed to me, of a very great depth. One lay by the path up the hill, which I had followed during my first walk. Like the others, it was rimmed with bronze, curiously wrought, and protected by a little cupola from the rain. Sitting by the side of these wells, and peering down into the shafted darkness, I could see no gleam of water, nor could I start any reflection with a lighted match. But in all of them I heard a certain sound: a thud-thud-thud, like the beating of some big engine; and I discovered, from the flaring of my matches, that a steady current of air set down the shafts. Further, I threw a scrap of paper into the throat of one, and, instead of fluttering slowly down, it was at once sucked swiftly out of sight. • ~from H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine

5. ~ from Yann Martel’s Life of Pi. • I saw a sight that will stay with me for the rest of my days. Richard Parker had gotten up ________________________. • He was not fifteen feet from me. Oh, the size of him! The hyena’s end had come, and mine. I stood still _________________, unable to move _________________, in amazement at __________________ action before my eyes. My short _______________ experience with the relations of free ______________ wild animals in lifeboats had made me expect great noise and protest when the time came for killing __________________. But it happened practically quietly _______________. The hyena died neither crying _______________ nor complaining _______________, and Richard Parker killed without a sound.

6. Life of Pie Continued • The orange animal ___________________________came out ___________________ from beneath the tarpaulin and made for the hyena. The hyena was leaning against the stern bench, behind the zebra’s dead body _______________, still _________________. It did not put up a fight. Instead it sat on __________________ the floor, lifting a forepaw in useless__________________ defense. The look on its face was of scared. A big _______________ paw landed on its shoulders. Richard Parker’s mouth ________________ closed on the side of the hyena’s neck. Its scared _________________ eyes widened. There was a noise of a crack __________________ as windpipe and spinal cord were crushed. The hyena shook. Its eyes changed _________________. It was over. (hint Richard Parker is a tiger)

7. I saw a sight that will stay with me for the rest of my days. Richard Parker had risen and emerged. He was not fifteen feet from me. Oh, the size of him! The hyena’s end had come, and mine. I stood rooted to the spot, paralyzed, in thrall to the action before my eyes. My brief experience with the relations of unconfined wild animals in lifeboats had made me expect great noise and protest when the time came for bloodshed. But it happened practically in silence. The hyena died neither whining nor whimpering, and Richard Parker killed without a sound. The flame-coloured carnivore emerged from beneath the tarpaulin and made for the hyena. The hyena was leaning against the stern bench, behind the zebra’s carcass, transfixed. It did not put up a fight. Instead it shrank to the floor, lifting a forepaw in a futile gesture of defense. The look on its face was of terror. A massive paw landed on its shoulders. Richard Parker’s jaws closed on the side of the hyena’s neck. Its glazed eyes widened. There was a noise of organic crunching as windpipe and spinal cord were crushed. The hyena shook. Its eyes went dull. It was over. (hint Richard Parker is a tiger) • ~ from Yann Martel’s Life of Pi.