The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

1. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

2. Session 1: Problems and Solutions

3. I had a problem, a big one • I had a well paid job. My boss is really nice. I saw a bright career path in front of me. • I lived out of my own country and far from my family. • I failed multiple times in relationships. I felt lonely after I went home. I wanted to have my own family. • I am not happy!

4. In fact, everybody had one • I am having tremendous professional success, but it’s cost me personal and family life. • I know I’m overweight. I tried all the ways without success. • My employees are always waiting for me to give them orders. I am tired of that. • I am too busy. I feel pressured and hassled all day, every day, seven days a week. • My kid won’t listen to me anymore • There is no love in my marriage. We don’t feel it anymore.

5. What’s the biggest problem you are facing? • At work • In family • Relationship • Health • Time • Meaning of life • Death

6. What to do with the problem? • Put it aside, try not to think about it • Worry about it • Talk about it • Work on it!

7. Deal with the problem • Acknowledge the problem • A problem cannot be solved if we pretend that it doesn’t exist • A real problem cannot be hidden • A real problem won’t go away • Define the problem • What’s bothering me most? Why? • Write it down • Solve the problem • How?

8. New Level of Thinking “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them” – Albert Einstein

9. The way we see the problem is the problem • It’s “out there”. It’s the problem of the others. • We look at the symptoms and ignore the root cause • We expect some magic techniques and quick fixes. The real solution may be a long process and require significant efforts • Examples: • Employees lack of loyalty • Marriage without love • Always busy, but little accomplished

10. How to see differently?

11. Paradigm - How do we “see” things? • The “lens” we all wear • We all see things through our own “Paradigms”, which are our own ways of thinking. • We may not know the paradigm exists, like contact lens. We think what we see is objective. But it may not be. • Two people can see the same thing, disagree and yet both be right. • Our unique experience creates the “lens” • Family • Education • Environment • Culture

12. Power of the Paradigm • Paradigm is our map • Reality, the way things are, where are we now. • Value, the way things should be, where do we want to be • Paradigm determines • Our attitudes • Our behaviors • Wrong map • Try to find ways in New York using a map of Chicago. • Working on attitudes and behaviors won’t help.

13. What to do with our Paradigms? • Be aware of them • Take responsibilities of them, examine them, test them against reality • Listen to others, be open to their perspectives • Get the large picture

14. Paradigm shift - “See” things differently • Paradigm shift is powerful • Fundamentally change our attitudes and behaviors • The only way for us to make significant and quantum changes • Science • From Earth center to Sun center • From bloodletting to gem theory • Society • From Kings to Democracy • Life • Life threaten crisis • Step into a new role

15. Solve our problems • What are the “maps” we are using? • The way we “see” things • The way we “handle” things • Are the “maps” correct? • Can they explain our current situation? • Can we get to the destination using them? • Are we lost using the current map? • Change the map

16. Thoughts about my own problem • My old paradigms • There is only successful career path for me. I rely on my boss to promote me in the company ladder. To be successful in career, I have to live in United States. • My perfect partner will fall into my life from heaven. We will fall in love immediately and be happy ever after. I just need to wait. • Love is sweet and all about happiness. • As long as I have a family, every problem will be resolved. • My attitude and behaviors are solely based on those paradigms. • Are they correct?

17. What’s the “correct map”? • Principles • Real, unchanging, unarguable and self-evident as natural laws • Universally applicable among different societies and religions • Examples • Only if you are trustworthy, you can earn long term trust • Principles determine the results • “Correct map” are Principle-Centered

18. Principles, Practices and Values • Principles vs. Practices • Guidelines vs. Activities • Universal application vs. Situation Specific • Always true vs. Work in some circumstances • Principle empowers people to create variety of practices to deal with different situations • Principles vs. Value • Objective territory vs. Map

19. How to change the “map”? • Inside-out • Start with yourself • Paradigms • Characters • Motives • Private victory precedes public victory • Keep Promise to ourselves before to others • Improve ourselves before improve the relationships • Work on our characters before work on personalities • Continuing renewal process

20. Inside-out examples • To have a good marriage • Generate positive energy • Sidestep negative energy • To have a pleasant, cooperative teenager • More understanding • Empathic • Consistent • Loving • To have more freedom, more latitude in your job • Be more responsible • More helpful • More contributing • To be trusted • Be trustworthy

21. Put the “map” inside us, permanently • Characters • Relatively permanent • Distinguishing features • Manifest when relates to others and reacts to various kinds of challenges • Examples • Courage • Honesty • Loyalty • Characters determine our destiny • Determine our actions and reactions • Determine how people see us and treat us

22. Characters Ethic vs. Personalities Ethic • Characters Ethic • The foundation of success come from the Characters like Integrity, Humility, Courage… • Personalities Ethic • Human and Public Relationship techniques • Positive Mental Attitude • Characters vs. Personalities • Inside-out vs. Outside-in • Permanent vs. Inconsistent • Natural vs. Artificial

23. The New Paradigm • The new level of thinking • Principle-centered • Character-based • Inside-out

24. Principles of Growth • Growth are sequential • Multiple Stages • The later stage is built upon the previous one • Each one is important. None can be skipped • Each one takes time • Example: Learning to run • Turn over, sit up, crawl, walk, run

25. The Paradigm Change Process • It’s a continuing renewal process • Learn the principles • Build the characters • Start with ourselves • Emotional Development Level • Listening to others requires Patience, Openness, Desire to understand • No quick fixes. No shortcut

26. Conclusion Solution to your problem Change the way you see the it

27. What’s next? • We learned • Our significant problems are the fruits of our own paradigms, the “lens” we wear and the “maps” we use • Our problems can only be solved by paradigm shifts. • A correct paradigm is Principle-Centered, Character-based, Inside-out • Paradigm shift takes a continuing renewal process • What’s missing • A actionable process to guide us in making the paradigm shift

28. Next Session Session 2 The Overview of The 7 Habits