Helen

1. The Real Story Helen

2. I am not the woman that everyone thinks I am. I did not leave my husband and go off to Troy; no, the ‘Helen’ that Paris took home with him was but an image of my likeness, made by Hera. Zeus ordered Hermes to wrap me up in a cloud and bring me to Egypt, the realm of Proteus. And so, thousands of men have died fighting for something that has my name, but is not me. I don’t think that I’m worthy to stay on this earth, but I cannot bring myself to go to Hades. Hermes has promised me that I will see Menelaus, my beloved husband, again one day. Once Menelaus learns the truth of what happened at Troy, I will be able to go home to Sparta. That hope is what has kept me alive these past seventeen years. Entry one

3. A man has just come to me, a Greek, from Salamis. He has brought me the most terrible news: all of my family is dead! My husband, mother, and brothers are all gone! The grief and guilt are unbearable… When the Trojan War ended, seven years ago, a storm separated Menelaus from the rest of the Greek ships when they were sailing back home across the Aegean Sea. No one has seen him since, and he is assumed dead. My mother hanged herself because of the disgrace that is given to my name. And there are two accounts of what has happened to my brothers. One tale says that they killed themselves with their own swords because of shame for me, while another declares that they were deified and put into the form of stars. I pray to the high-above gods that the latter story is the truth. But either way, the fact remains that I am the only one of my family who is still on this earth. Oh, why have the gods cursed me so? Entry two

4. Yet, I have still more sadness in my life. When Teucer first caught sight of my face, this cursedly beautiful face, he exclaimed that if we were not in Egypt he would take his arrow and kill me, simply because I have the same appearance of Paris’ Helen. Aii, the pain that a complete stranger would kill a woman, just because of her face! Such damage my likeness has done, that Helen daughter of Zeus is called a murderess and destroyer of Greece. My despair is now complete. I wish to die, but how? The noose is too common a method; even slaves think that it is not good enough for them. A knife seems more heroic, but the idea of the pain is frightful. Oh, that my beauty should force me to contemplate death! The gods have truly deserted me. Entry two continued

5. I have such happy news! Theonoe, the daughter of the late King Proteus, who knows everything that happens, says that my husband is alive! My hope is restored, and with it, my desire to live. She tells me he will make his way to this god-forsaken land and is actually very near to here already! However, I did not ask her if he would get back home to Sparta, for I was lost to my happiness at the news that Menelaus is alive. I cannot wait to see him again! Entry three

6. Oh! I have just gone from the heights of joy to the depths of despair. Menelaus is finally here, but he doesn’t believe that I am Helen, his true wife! He has more faith in the airy image of me that is guarded in a cave than in me, the woman made of flesh and blood! He says that he shall leave me stranded here in this desolate land, all alone for the rest of my life! My misery nearly overwhelms me…I have spent so long waiting for Menelaus to come and save me, but now that that time has finally come, he refuses to believe the truth! When I first saw his figure in Proteus’ tomb, I was afraid that he was some Egyptian lying in wait to bring me to the King as his new wife. I was so scared, that I might not be able to keep myself chaste for Menelaus’ return. But then he came into the light and I saw his face, the one I have been longing to see for years! When he affirmed that he was indeed my husband, and I fell to my knees and kissed his feet, as any good wife should do, he rejected me! He called me names and said that he would not take me home, that he would abandon me! I feel that my heart might break. Entry four

7. I am overjoyed! My husband has realized the truth and now he holds me in his arms, once again his beloved wife! My despair is no more, burned away by the flame of his love, my pain and fear kept away by the strength of his embracing arms. Finally, all my waiting has been rewarded! This is surely the happiest of days; my husband is returned to me, and we love each other still. Entry five

8. For the first time in seventeen long and dreadful years, I am content. Menelaus is at this moment telling his faithful slave to prepare his men for an escape from this terrible land. I asked him where his travels have taken him in the years since he conquered Troy, but his trials were too painful to relate. Since he could not tell me his story, I told him mine; chiefly, that the King now looks for my hand in marriage, despite my protestations that I am already married, and cannot be given to another man. I told him to leave Egypt and save himself, for there is no chance of him simply escaping with me, and killing the King is an impossibility better not contemplated. But my noble husband refused to flee, and we have decided to seek out Theonoe to help us escape. Despite the uncertainty of our situation, there is a steadiness in my heart for we are together once again; I feel that nothing can harm me in this moment. Entry six

9. I wait in agony to know whether Theonoe will help us. I have gone down on my knees and begged her with the most touching and entreating words I know of, to get her support in our departure from Egypt. I told her only the truth: if I go home, the people will see for themselves that I did not go to Troy, my daughter can finally be married, and our lives will once more be full and happy. I appealed to her in the name of her most noble father, the man who kept my chastity untouched, who would have surely given me back to Menelaus without a second thought. I can only hope that my good words reach her heart. Entry seven

10. Some god has blessed us. Theonoe agreed to help us, and I have come up with a strong plan with which to make our getaway. Menelaus agrees that my idea is the best chance of our survival. I will dress myself in mourning black, cut my hair and tear into my face with my nails, paint the most tragic picture of mourning. Then I shall go to the King and tell him that Menelaus is dead, killed in a shipwreck. The proof will be in the form of my real husband, who will claim to be the sole survivor of that devastating wreck. To further the lie I will say that it is the Greek tradition to perform the funeral rites for those who drowned out at sea. Hopefully, this will allow us to get a ship and be able to escape. I know that if I slip in my façade, I will die. My only hope is that no matter what my fate is, Menelaus may escape and get back home safely. I have offered up my prayers to the deathless gods, and now I head out to begin my deception. Entry eight

11. My stomach is like the sea pummeled by a storm, churning and rumbling; I am nearly sick with anticipation. Menelaus has managed to secure a ship, weapons and food for our journey home with honeyed lies that said that all of those things were necessary for the burial ceremony. Theoclymenus, the King, believed everything my husband said. He will not suspect when we go far from shore, because as far as he knows, that is the customary thing to do. By the time he realizes that something is wrong, we will be too far away to catch. Every thing should go according to plan; but I know that I will worry like this until I cannot see Egypt anymore. Entry nine

12. A strange guilt wracks my heart; the cause is even stranger than the emotion. I have just spoken with Theoclymenus, and I saw the happiness in his eyes from his belief that he will shortly marry me. He does not at all suspect that he will never be my husband, and I felt somewhat sad when I realized that all he wants is to be a good husband to me. He is being truly generous, giving me everything I ask for to mourn my supposedly dead husband. All he asks for in return is my heart. Of course, this can never be given, but it makes me feel guilty to imagine the pain he will go through when he realizes that I have lied to him. My plan will never be stopped, for my desire to go home is unquenched, but still…this curious guilt has touched my heart. Entry ten

13. So many emotions are coursing through my veins; relief, gratitude, and absolute, undiluted joy. Everything has gone as planned, and we are well on our way back to Sparta. The loading of the ship with our supplies went as well as could be hoped, and the rest of my husband’s Greek crew was welcomed on board with only some grumbling from a few surly Egyptians. We were well out to sea, the white of our wake barely visible from shore when Menelaus acted. He slit the throat of a sacrificial bull, offering up a prayer to Poseidon for our safe journey home. The Egyptians leaped up in surprise when the strong Greeks set upon them with sharp swords. What happened next can only be described as a glorious bloodbath. Entry eleven

14. My countrymen are not called the conquerors of Troy for nothing; they filled my heart with pride as I looked down on their skilled slaughter of those who would see me as a captive queen. We were of course victorious, and my noble husband told the steersman to set a course for Sparta. Oh, my heart nearly burst with happiness when he said those words. He came and sat next to me, holding my hand, and I felt tears of joy prick my eyes. The gods must finally favor us, because the winds have picked up, and we are now heading for home with great speed. I am blissfully happy. Entry eleven continued

15. The end