Navigating the Transition to Teen Years: A Parent's Guide

1. Project SOSParent Program

2. Introduction of Program • Provide Information • Provide Materials • Not School Program • Not Telling You What to Do • More Information Means Better Decisions as a Parent and a Student

3. Purpose of Program • Ease the transition for both parents and students into teen years • Knowing the issues in advance improves the solutions • No more student deaths related to lack of seat belt use • No more student deaths related to alcohol

4. Current Issues • Alcohol and Drugs • Failure to Use Seat Belts • Driving Skills and Privileges • Dating and Curfews • How to Handle Issues • Lack of Information

5. Potential Solution:More Information • Safety Statistics and Issues: Maj. Phil Garrett (Mobile Police Department) • Insurance and Legal Liability Issues: Attorney Joe Babington • St. Paul’s School Policy: Palmer Kennedy • What Students Can Expect in the Years Ahead: St. Pauls’ Seniors: Kristel Isakson &Steven Lerner • Handling these Issues as Parents: Brian McCarthy and Leslie Lerner • Q&A: Opportunity to Ask Question

6. Safety Statistics • Maj. Phillip Garrett • Mobile Police Department

7. National Statistics: 16-19 Year Olds • 3500 Teens Die Every Year in Car Crashes • 10 Teens Die Every Day • Almost 75% of Drivers in Fatal Crashes Were Male • 1 Male Passenger in Age Group Almost Doubles Risk of Dying • 2 or More Male Passengers More Than Doubles Risk USA Today 2005 Study/Insurance Institute

8. Death Rates Compared Insurance Institute: 2001-2002

9. Teen Death Rate Compared • 16 Year Old: Almost 6 Times More Likely to Die in a Fatal Car Accident • 17 Year Old: 5 Times More Likely • 18 and 19 Year Olds: 4 Times More Likely • Key: More Training and Experience Insurance Institute Study: Compared to 50 Year Old Drivers

10. What Should Be Done? • Need for Good Training and Experience • Drivers Ed or You Certify 30 Hours • Schedule Drive Time in All Conditions • Rules, Consequences & Enforcement • Seat Belts • Alcohol

11. Police Enforcement • No Tolerance Now on Alcohol • Change of Enforcement Culture • We Will Arrest the Kids • We Will Arrest the Parents • Serving Minors • Open House Party • Liability Issues: Criminal and Civil

12. Insurance and Liability Issues • Attorney Joe Babington

13. Insurance Issues • Vehicle • Insurance Issues • Parent and Student Liability

14. Owner of Vehicle • Timing • Title: Parent(s) or Student • Who pays the money? • Effect of Liability • Who Controls the Keys?

15. Choice of Vehicle • Discuss with Student • Insurance Cost = Price, Type, Size and Safety Profile • Best Choices for Cost and Safety: • Mid to Full Size • Good Safety Profile • Well-Maintained

16. Cost of Vehicle • Used vs. New: $10,000 to $40,000 range • Teen Insurance for Clean Driving Record: • $1000-$1200 for female and $1500-$1800 for male if added vehicle on your coverage with 25% limit on use, assuming 2000 vehicle* • $1800 per year for Female or $2200 per year for male if principal driver* • Maintenance: • Used Car: $500 to $1,000 per year *Local Insurance Agency: Summer 2005

17. Insurance: Reducing Cost • Buy a Used Vehicle • Driver’s Education: Roughly 10% Reduction • Grades of As & Bs: 10% Reduction again • Insurance Programs for Teen Drivers: 10% Reduction • Almost 30% off Total Cost

18. Insurance: The Dark Side • Ticket: Assume 5-10% increase • At Fault Accident: Assume 10% Increase • Multiple Tickets/Accidents • Possibility to Lose Coverage Entirely • Lose License

19. Liability Issues • Umbrella Policies: Cheap and Cover Everyone • Parental Liability Issues • Negligent Entrustment: After Tickets and the DUI • Having the Party at Your House • Awareness and Action: Best Defense

20. Current Legal Limits • First 6 Months: • No Driving from Midnight to 6:00 a.m. • No More than 4 Occupants (Not including parent) • Some Exceptions: • Work, School, Church

21. St. Paul’s School Policies, Expectations, Conduct, and Discipline Palmer Kennedy: Director Upper School

22. Position of St. Paul’s • Expect appropriate student behavior on campus and at off campus school events • School will take disciplinary action at the discretion of the administration • Parents and Guests should not use alcohol or drugs on campus or at school events to send right drug-free message

23. Substance Abuse Policy Consequences • Expulsion • All of the following: • Suspension for a period of 1 to 8 school days • Probation for a period of up to 180 school days • Parent conference • Other action as deemed appropriate by the Administration

24. Drug and Alcohol Testing • Mandatory or Required Testing • Universal Drug Testing Program

25. KNOW’s Message • Everybody does not drink • Differences can be made • Must start to educate the youngest • Poor parental decisions are usually made out of ignorance • Be a parent, not a friend • Do not give up - it is not easy but the results are worth the effort.

26. Some statistics & facts to please consider: • Six times more teens die from alcohol than all other illicit drugs combined. • Average age of first drink is around seventh grade. • Parents are number ONE factor in a student’s decision whether to drink. • For the first time ever, girls drink more often than boys do in high school • 33% of underage drinking teens binge. Only 3% percent of parents think their kid binge drinks.

27. Suggestions from the KNOW Leadership Class: • Talk with your child. • Know your kid’s friends and their parents. • Check up on your kids. Better to have them upset, than think they can pull one. • The message of moderation is not understood. The responsibility message in not respected. • Alcohol leads to decisions on sexuality that are later regretted.

28. Student Perspective • Kristel Isakson and Steven Lerner • Seniors: St. Paul’s Episcopal School

29. Student Point of View • What Your Kids Can Expect • Dating and Curfews • Alcohol and Drugs • How the Groups Divide Up • Where They Get It: Lock It Up • Role Model: Walking the Walk • Enforcing Consequences Affects Behavior

30. Other Parents’ Experiences • Leslie Lerner and Brian McCarthy

31. Key Points • Communication • Know Your Son or Daughter • Uniformity and Consistency • Driving Contracts • Curfews • Alcohol and Drugs • Knowing Their Friends

32. Communication • Create the Environment • Create the Opportunity • Make it a Priority • Make it Happen on a Regular Basis

33. Know Your Kids • All Kids are Different • All Families are Different • What Works for One Son or Daughter May Not Work for Another • What Works for One Family May Not Work For Another

34. Uniformity & Consistency • Parents Have to be on Same Page • Rules and Consequences Must be Clear • Gets Kids on the Same Page • Eliminates Debate about Consequences • Follow Through on Consequences • Consequences Affect Current and Future Behavior

35. Driving Contracts • Driving/Car Ownership is a Privilege • Ownership Interest Affects Behavior • Establish Clear Rules • Establish Clear Consequences • Distractions: Cell Phones, Radio, IPod • Written Agreement Takes the Argument out of Enforcing Consequences

36. OTHER IDEAS • First Month: No Radio • First 3 Months: No Cell Phone and then Must be Handsfree • First 3 Months: No Passengers Other Than Family • Ownership Interest: Gas, Insurance and Accident Repair

37. Curfews • One Size Does Not Fit All • Factors: Age, Maturity, Character & Conduct • Nothing Good Happens After Midnight • Ideas: Calling if Late, Wake Parent Up with a Kiss, Set Alarm Clock 5 Minutes after Curfew • Consequences

38. Alcohol & Drugs • Know When Opportunities Created • Field Parties • Parents Not Home or Out of Town • Sorority/Fraternity • Other (Beach Houses, etc.) • How to Handle: Calling Parents/ Landlines • Driving Issues • Parents’ Experiences

39. Knowing Their Friends • Encourage the Kids to Come to Your House • Create the Environment to Make it Happen • Be There • Stay Awake • Know What’s Going On • Confront Any Problem • Talk to Other Parents if Necessary

40. Parents’ Responsibility • Your Mission Is Not To Be Their Best Friend • You’re Their Parent • You’re Trying to Teach Them • You’re Trying to be a Good Coach -- Not a Cop • You’re Trying to Keep Them Alive

41. What Should A Parent Do? • Be a Good Role Model • Use a Seat Belt • Don’t Drink and Drive • Use Cell Phones Handsfree • Be a Parent – Not a Best Friend • Enforce the Rules • Enforce the Consequences • Just Do It

42. Moderator • Summary of Key Points • Materials Available

43. Key Points • Open Lines of Communication • Establish Clear Rule and Consequences • Parents Have to Present Unified Front • Financial Interest in Consequences Affects Behavior • Stick to Discipline • Consequences Change Behavior • Driving Contracts are Useful Manner to Establish Clear Rules and Consequences

44. What If....? • All Parents Got Written Agreement on the Rules? • What If All the Curfews Were the Same? • All Parents Got Written Agreement on Consequences? • All Parents Enforced the Consequences? • All Students Had a Financial Interest in Good Behavior? • All Parents Walked the Walk?

45. Questions and Answers • All Speakers • 20 Minutes

46. Q & A Format • Format • My name is..................................... • I have a question for....................... • My question is................................ • No War Stories • No Names • No Judgment