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My Life and ADHD • By Lisa Brown
Someone once described me as being a human dynamo, I used to have so much energy that I felt that it was like electricity running through my body. This energy felt amazing at times, this energy would never let me rest. I have recently discovered that this energy was part of having A.D.H.D. • I m now going to take you on a journey starting with my past and present and then my aspirations for Nathan my son who also has A.D.H.D
My earliest memories of my grandmother is of her telling me stories about my father as a small child, he caused lots of problems. • At just age three my father was missing from their farm which was in a small hamlet in the middle of nowhere. She said the police brought him back with his three wheeler bike from the next village which was four miles away!!!
I grew up as one of 6 siblings . One of my brothers has severe learning difficulties he was born prematurely weighing 2lb 2 oz. I believe that he has A.D.H.D as well. • My youngest brother Luke is in the rain forests of Malaysia at the moment, he is travelling the world by himself. • My eldest brother shows all the traits of A.D.H.D he is dyslexic. At school they said that he would either be a millionaire or go to prison. He’s a millionaire!!!! • I had very few boundaries, for hours at a time.
My pleasure in life as a child was ponies. I loved riding. • I never saw any dangers. • I was usually so impatient that I never even put the saddle & bridle on. • Green fields used to calm me, I also loved the quiet away from my noisy family.
I used to experience periods of feeling very low in mood and depressed, on many occasions I used to have morbid thoughts. I would cry often for hours sometimes. • I would feel very frustrated and angry and not know why. • Once I walked out of Primary School at the age of 5 to play down by the river !!
I struggled with noise, was easily distracted and my attention was very poor. I still struggle with this. • I was always losing things and this used to make me very angry. My friend used to save my school bus pass for me every day.
I constantly lose bank cards, keys, and glasses. • I had a very protective nature especially towards my brother Nick with learning difficulties. • I was very impulsive and was direct in my conversation and tactless. • I find it hard not to interrupt conversations even now. • I could never sit still, I was constantly touching things.
I used to be thrown off the school bus often and had to walk miles home along country roads. • I found it hard to listen to what the teachers were telling me. • I could never walk anywhere, I had to run. I disliked wearing shoes outside. I’d walk on stones, so does my son funnily enough. • I left home at sixteen and rented a house and got a job. I never returned home again. • Life felt tough at times
I’ve worked for adult social care for twenty years working very complex cases. I never tire of my work in the community being creative and enthusiastic. I love searching for solutions. • I have a daughter Jasmine who is 14 years of age and is beautiful in every way, she is very intelligent and creative in all her subjects. She shows such patience and understanding with Nathan. The teachers always said that Jasmine was a free spirit at primary school and she had a lust for life. She believes that Nathan will be fine in secondary school.
Nathan was diagnosed with A.D.H.D in 2008. We made a major decision to put him on medication, this did not work it only gave Nathan horrible side effects and in the end suicidal thoughts. This was the final straw and we made a decision to stop this for his own well being. • Shortly after his diagnosis I was diagnosed with M.E and lost my energy it was a struggle to say the least. On a positive note I became calmer. We dont have family that live close by to help. • I struggled manage Nathan at the peak of his hyperactivity, we were at different ends of the spectrum.My husband who is a Detective Sergeant worked very long hours,but changed his job.
Nathan’s behaviour at school was becoming increasingly difficult to manage. I worried about Nathan’s future, I read everything about A.D.H.D. I read a book called “Is That my Child?”, by Robin Pauc a Child Development Delay Expert. After reading it I telephoned him and asked if he would see Nathan at his clinic for a private consultation. • Nathan’s diet was changed, no more cereals we reduced his sugar intake. Nathan has had eggs for breakfast ever since that visit. out for food additives. Nathan has linseeds daily. • linseeds
Dr Pauc also stressed the importance of omega 3 in his diet, Nathan has fish oils daily plus a spoonful of omega 3 mix of seeds twice daily. • Healthy diet - Nathan eats lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. Nathan is fully aware of the importance of nutrition and does not resist this.
Nathan did brain exercises, like walking backwards up the stairs balancing bean bags on his head twice daily. He brushed his teeth standing on one leg twice daily. • Eye movement DVD’s to help his eye convergence daily. • He saw a specialist chiropractor in Lincoln who manipulated him physically, he now wears insoles in his shoes.
Nathan had herbal remedies to calm and soothe his anger/frustration. Remedies to help him sleep. • Expensive vitamins minerals • Fish oils • Nathan was always read to each night. He would read a few pages of his school book with resistance. He then started to read and read. Nathan now reads 600 paged books with great understanding of what he has read. Nathan can hyper focus only on things that interest him.
Nathan had an assessment at C.A.M.H.S we met Rachel the play therapist, she recommended filial therapy. • I went every week to learn to play with Nathan saying out loud his emotions. My husband and I did 20 minute sessions with Nathan. This was the turning point for our family. • I wanted help to improve Nathan and improve on how we were managing him at home. We were prepared to do anything to make this happen.
I then went on to facilitate positive parenting classes, which re enforced what I was doing with Rachel. I highly recommend these classes. • My only wish was that I did this earlier it would have saved some heart ache. This gave me the confidence that I was lacking to take control of parenting a child with A.D.H.D. I felt that I needed more skills. We go out as a family everywhere lovely restaurants you name it. I still steer away from children’s parks and climbing frames, due to several accidents. I used to literally be right behind him as a small child.
Once he was in mid year 5 he could not put his books down. • Things started to improve. A teacher learnt to understand about A.D.H.D. His work was being displayed. • Nathan is distracted by everything in the class room eg. Headsets and still knowing what’s going on.
This is a poem written by Nathan. I personally love it. The swift wind gives growth to a raging fire, disintegrating the decomposing leaves spread across the forest floor It burns with a vicious size The atmosphere seeps translucent blood that we pronounce wind The twitching flames had finished and was now a sea of ash drifting in the air watching the fire re birth below The ash waits for the breezy wind to carry it through the sky as a warning of a fire to the public. By Nathan Brown Age 9
Recognise everything that is positive,valuable & unique about your child. • Try to move on from negative experiences quickly. I always say press the delete button. • Trust that your child can learn,mature and succeed. • Console your child when they have bad times.
Children with A.D.H.D require lots more love and approval than most children. They may resist initially. • Try not to compare your child with other children who don’t have this condition. They may not have the same struggles on a daily basis as yours does. • Children with A.D.H.D have a tendency to be more tactile than others, embrace that.
Remember that the child with A.D.H.D is not deliberately trying to annoy you, ignore you or embarrass you. • Be there when their mistakes cause pain, they need you more than ever, put your own feelings aside. • We need to use lots of strategies to increase appropriate behaviours and decrease inappropriate, disruptive ones.
Gain confidence in your own abilities. • Take time out for yourselves, your children benefit as well as you. • I go to the gym 2-3 times per week, this makes me more able to concentrate because it moves the fog in my mind.
His teacher wrote on his report “I hope to read about you one day, your writing has amazed me.” Nathan was not on any medication in year 4 & 5. • That made me cry.
Aspirations • I want my son to feel that he belongs in this world and not that he is a square peg in a round hole. Playing rugby has helped him feel there is hope. I want him to continue to be the individual that he is and be a responsible member of our society. We are with him all the way. Mum, Dad and Jazz
I believe in children with ADHD. I believe that they can succeed in school with the appropriate support and understanding from their teachers. I believe that children can move up to secondary school and gain there qualifications. I believe that children with ADHD can move onto further education get a job, start a business. I believe in children with ADHD and so should they.
