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Dealing with difficult Situations. Conflict spirals Emotions Ultimatums. Conflict Spiral. Problem Sides form Positions harden Communication stops More resources committed Others engage, threats issues Perceptions distort, ideas stalemate
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Dealing with difficult Situations Conflict spirals Emotions Ultimatums
Conflict Spiral Problem Sides form Positions harden Communication stops More resources committed Others engage, threats issues Perceptions distort, ideas stalemate Sense of crisis emerges, litigation, sanctions
Breaking spirals of conflict • Focus on interests: solving a mutual problem • Provide loop-backs to negotiations • Provide low-cost rights and power backups • Consult early, feedback after to avoid reoccurrence • Low-to-high-cost procedures • Provide motivation, skills, resources
Identify root causes • Parties • Central issues • Interests • Interviews • Analyze data • Test hypotheses MISCOMMUNICATION MISUNDERSTANDING
EMOTION Don’t avoid it Do not concede Avoid emotional triggers Do not escalate Do not push Do not reject Deal with it Acknowledge Words and behaviors Go to the balcony Go to their side Reframe
ultimatums • Help them back away without backing down • Explain changed circumstances • Ask for third party opinion • Point to a standard of fairness • Help them save face
The goal of A Negotiation… …is not to reach an agreement. It’s to reach a good agreement.