DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE.

1. DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE. By Peter Isoe

2. Have you been Hurt, Betrayed, Degraded, Stepped On, Belittled, Snipped, Lied On-----?

3. WHO ARE THESE DIFFICULT PEOPLE? • Difficult people are those you can’t stand and who don’t do what you want them to do, OR do what you don’t want them to do, and you don’t know what to do about them. • Whoever it is, Perhaps it is: • Your Spouse 4. Parents 7. Co-worker • Your Boss 5. Best Friend 8. ---------- • Your Professor 6. Room mate

4. WHO ARE THEY?????? • Whoever he/she is, She/he is an invalidator who feeds on your: Self esteem, Mental Anguish, or Unhappiness. • You can stop all these attacks on your SOUL by Nasty people with nasty tactics (as per Jay Carter) • Difficult people are a fact of life. How you huddle them will determine your state of mend and health

5. In most cases: • They blame----- Blame takes your power away • They Barrel Over • They Whine • They Find Faults • They explode without notice

6. One common thing in all of these people is that “whenever you try to work with them, the harder they seem to work with and they try hard to make your life more difficult, Miserable, and unpleasant” • At the worst, they can keep you from achieving important goals at your work or home. • It is up to you to bring the best behavior in these people who are at their worst. • Remember!!! You can not change anyone except YOUSELF first “ become Bigger than Your Situation” (Magic of Thinking Big)

7. However they come to you, You don’t have to be their victim. Instead: • Identify the unwanted behavior • Examine the forces that compel people to be difficult in variety ways • Build a “LENS” for understanding why they act the way they do and know how to interact for positive outcomes

8. TEN MOST UNWANTED BEHAVIORS: • The Tank • The Sniper • The Grenade • The know-it-All • The Think-they-Know-it –All • The Yes-Person • The Nothing person • The May-be person • The No- Person • The Whiner

9. All of us react differently to these types of behaviors. • The most Irritating Person to you may be well acceptable to someone else. • Therefore, know all these types of behaviors and know how to respond to each one of them in a positive manner. • We can all be difficult sometimes but we need to recognize the part we play by understanding our behaviors

10. CHOOSE YOUR APPOACHES • After your understanding which of these behaviors are in YOU and those in OTHERS then you choose your approaches. The choices are: • Stay and do nothing---- Avoid doing nothing • Vote with your feet----- You can walk away • Change your Attitude---- Toward the 10 unwanted behaviors • Change your behavior---- If you don’t know me you can’t deal with me

11. UNDERSTANDING THE 4 THREATENED INTENTS: • After you change your Attitude toward the 10 unwanted behaviors, understand them. This will help you not to worry about the motives behind the behavior but understand the intents and: • Get it Done • Get it Right • Get along with people • Get Appreciations from people

12. Task Focus

13. After recognizing the result of the threatened intents then: • Reduce differences • Listen to understand • Reach deeper understanding • Speak to be understood • Project and expect the best • Bring the best out of all those 10 unwanted behaviors