Chapter 5Healthy Relationships and Sexuality Making Commitments
Intimate Relationships • Close relationship you offer and are offered • validation • understanding • sense of being valued intellectually, emotionally and physically
Characteristics Behavioral Interdependence • mutual impact on each other • daily activities intertwined • grow together • missed if gone
Characteristics Need Fulfillment • approval/sense of purpose……. • need for intimacy - share feeling • social integration (worries and concerns)……. • being nurturant - someone to take care of……. • need for assistance - help when needed………. • affirmation of worth - we matter…….
Characteristics Emotional attachment • feelings of love and attachment • impossible to judge from outside • can be sexual or non-sexual • intimate relationships go beyond sexual contact • can be an important part but not a requirement
Emotional Availability • to give and receive emotionally • without the fear of being hurt or rejected • times to be less emotionally available - recovery from loss
Types of Intimate RelationshipsBalanced Intimacy…several dimensions • Sexual - expression of closeness • Intellectual - sharing of ideas • Emotional - significant feeling • Aesthetic - sharing experiences • Recreational - having fun • Work - house, family, employment and community • Crisis - successful coping with internal and external threats • Spiritual - sharing the meaning of life
Forming Intimate Relationships Changes throughout life • family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances • Families - changed over the years both parents working, life’s demands and society • Is today’s Family……….. different???
Friendships: finding the Right Ingredients • Enjoyment • Acceptance • Trust • Respect • Mutual Assistance • Confiding • Understanding • Spontaneity
Significant Others, Partners, Couples Sexual Relationships Four Categories: • married heterosexual couples • cohabiting heterosexual couples • lesbian couples • gay male couples
Friendship with Passion • Fascination - spend as much time as possible with the other person • Exclusiveness - love relationship takes priority/only person • Sexual Desire - physical intimacy may not be acted upon b/c of religious, moral, or practical reasons • Giving the Utmost - other’s need/sacrifice • Being a champion/advocate - unselfish acts to help other succeed
LOVE Companionate: family/close friends relationship - common interests/attached/well-being/express reciprocal liking & respect Passionate: state of high arousal/ecstasy of love - agony of rejection
Passionate Love….. • concept of “Falling in Love” excepted by culture • suitable “love Object”must be presented taught attributes to seek out - parents, peers, pop culture…….. • physiological arousal in presence of person!
Attraction and Love! • Imprinting…… evolutionary patterns, genetic predisposition, past experiences….. trigger romantic response • Attraction……neurochemicals - feelings of euphoria and elation • Attachment……endorphins, natural opiates - peaceful, secure and calm • Production of a cuddle chemical….. oxytocin - satisfaction and attachment during love making...
Fourth Year Divorce Rate -Present in 60 cultures • Tolerance to PEA levels drop and the feeling of love reduces • Past four years - endorphins - soothing substances that give lovers the feeling of peace, security and calm
Gender Issues: Men, Women, and Relationships • Understanding and communication very important • styles of men and women differ • can create problems / seems like different cultures • Differences Why?
Barriers to Intimacy - lack of personal identity, emotional immaturity, not responsible, fear of being hurt, low self-esteem…. • Other reasons • Dysfunctional Family - interactions inhibit instead of enhancing psychological growth • Jealousy - adverse reaction to from actual or perceived relationships with a third party
Committed Relationships • Feeling of love or sexual attraction • and a committed relationship….? • Love without • Sex without • Committed - intention to perpetuate wellbeing of the other person, yourself and the relationship
Marriage - traditional committed relationship in many societies • Monogamy - exclusive sexual involvement / one partner • Serial monogamy- series of monogamous relationships • Open Relationship - agreed sexual involvement outside the relationship • Cohabitation - Living together / not married • Common-law marriage - cohabitation 3 years / similar to marriage but not all legal aspects
Success in Committed Relationships • Marriage - success based on how long the couple stays together • Cohabitation - meets other’s situations and needs • Both can be healthy and successful
Success in Committed Relationships • Partnering Scripts - what is expected from society / passed along from parents - “marry and have children” • Accountability - responsibility for personal decisions, choices and actions • Self-nurturance - developing individual potential / realistic /appreciation for self-worth and ability
Elements of a Good Relationship • Predictability - knowing your partner • Dependability - reliable / supportive • Faith - certain about partner’s intentions & behaviours • Trust
Ending a Relationship The Warning Signs! • Communication breakdown • lack of interest • emotional confrontations • feelings of being unappreciated / unwanted / unloved • Autonomy -self-care / emotionally, socially, and physically
Seeking Help: Where to Look - trusted friends / trained professional counsellors • Seeking Help: Where to Look - trusted friend / trained professional counsellors • Trial Separations - time out to heal and to reflect on the relationship / professional help • Why Relationships End • Unmet needs, differences, loss of a child ….. Many …. many reasons
Deciding to Break Up • Troubled couples decide relationship not worth saving • Difficult - strong emotions, pain, guilt, revenge, hurt, confusion, worthlessness • Seek support and help to cope
Defining Your Sexual Identity • We are born sexual beings • Taboos, mores. Laws and sexual myths abound! • Must be comfortable with personal sexual identity • Sexual Identity - recognition of ourselves as sexual creatures • Genetic / environmental / physiological factors
XX a Female / XY a Male • Gonads - reproductive organs / male (testes) or female (ovaries) • Puberty - sexual maturation • Pituitary Gland - controls release of hormones from gonads • Secondary sex characteristics - associated with gender but not reproduction
Gender Identity and Roles • Gender - sense of Masculinity or Femininity / your society & culture • Gender Roles / stereotypes - generalization to how males and females should express their gender • Androgyny - male and female traits in same person
Gender Identity and Roles • Socialization - society identifies behaviours for it’s members • information from parents, schools, friends, popular culture, tradition…...
Reproductive Anatomy and PhysiologyExternal Female Genitals Vulva - external genitalia Labia Minora - “Inner lips”or folds of tissues Labia Majora - “Outer Lips”or folds of tissues covering sexual organs Clitoris - pea-sized nodule on top of the LM Urethral opening - urination
External Female Genitals • Vagina - passage leading from vulva to uterus • Hymen - thin tissue covering the vaginal opening • Perineum - tissue extending from vulva to anus
Internal Female Genitals • Uterus (womb) - hollow area to contain foetus • Endometrium - uterine lining • Cervix - lower end of uterus • Ovaries - houses developing eggs and produces hormones • Fallopian Tubes - tubes extending from ovaries to uterus
Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual Cycle • Puberty - maturation of female and male reproduction systems • Pituitary Gland (in brain) - controls reproduction system • Hypothalamus - work with pituitary gland • Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) - PG to release Gonadotropins
Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual Cycle • Follicle - stimulating hormone (FSH) - signals ovaries to release egg / produces estrogen • Luteinizing hormone (LH) - signals the release of egg + produce progesterone • Estrogens - hormones that control menstrual cycle • Progesterone - helps develop the endometrium
Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual Cycle • Menarche - first menstrual period • Ovarian Follicles (egg sacs) where individual eggs develop • Ovulation - egg passes through ovarian wall • Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) - if egg is fertilized increases levels of estrogen and progesterone • Menopause - permanent cessation of menstruation
Male Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology • External Male Genitals - penis and scrotum • Penis - male sexual organ to release sperm into vagina • Scrotum - sac of tissues that encloses the testes
Male Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology • Internal Male genitals - testes, epididymides, vasa deferentia, ejaculatory ducts, urethra and accessory glands • Accessory glands - seminal vesicles, prostrate gland and Cowper’s gland • Ejaculation - propulsion of semen from the penis
Male Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology • Testes - Two Organs, located in the scrotum, manufacture sperm and produce hormones • Testosterone - male sex hormone • Spermatogenesis - development of sperm • Epididymis - place for sperm maturation
Male Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology • Vas deferens - tube transports sperm to penis • Seminal vesicles storage for sperm and nutrient fluids added • Semen - fluid comprised of sperm + nutrients • Prostrate gland - secretes nutrients and neutralizing fluids • Foreskin - flap covering penis / remove during circumcision
Expressing Your Sexuality • Human Sexual Response - male and female common stages • excitement/arousal • plateau • orgasm • resolution • refractory period (some males) • Vasoconstriction - engorgement of sexual organs with blood
Sexual Orientation - attraction and interest in members of the opposite sex, same sex, both sexes in emotional, social and sexual situations • Heterosexual - attraction and sexual preference for the opposite sex • Homosexual - same sex preferences and attraction • Bisexual - both sexes • Homophobia - irrational hatred and fear of homosexuality and homosexuals
Sexual Expression What are your Options? • Celibacy - a person not involved in sexual relationships • Autoerotic behaviours - sexual self-stimulation • Sexual Fantasies - sexually arousing thoughts and dreams • Masturbation - self-stimulation of genitals • Erogenous zones - areas of the body both male and female that when touched create sexual stimulation
Sexual Expression • Cunnilingus - oral stimulation of the female genitals • Fellatio - oral stimulation of male’s genitals • Anal Intercourse insertion of the penis into the anus
Sexual Expression • Vaginal Intercourse - insertion of penis into the vagina • Variant Sexual Behaviour - sexual behaviours not commonly practiced
Difficulties that Can Hinder Sexual Functioning • Sexual Dysfunction - problems preventing sexual satisfaction • Inhibited Sexual Desire - lack of interest in sexual behaviour • Sexual Aversion Disorders - sexual phobias/ anxieties about sexual contact
Difficulties that Can Hinder Sexual Functioning • Erectile Dysfunction - “AKA” impotence: a difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection during intercourse • Premature Ejaculation - ejaculation occurs just prior to or immediately following penetration of the vagina • Retarded Ejaculation -inability to ejaculate once penis is erect
Difficulties that Can Hinder Sexual Functioning • Preorgasmic - state of never achieving an orgasm • Dyspareunia - pain experiences by women during intercourse • Vaginismus - vaginal muscles contract so forcefully that penetration cannot be accomplished