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Ready, Set, Recall

Ready, Set, Recall. 1. Habit 3 – Put First Things First *Time Matrix – Live North of “the line” *Big Rocks 2. Private Victory *Emotional Bank Account (EBA) – Role TRUST plays 3. Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw * The 4 Dimensions * Be Strong in the Hard Moments

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Ready, Set, Recall

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  1. Ready, Set, Recall 1. Habit 3 – Put First Things First *Time Matrix – Live North of “the line” *Big Rocks 2. Private Victory *Emotional Bank Account (EBA) – Role TRUST plays 3. Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw *The 4 Dimensions *Be Strong in the Hard Moments 4. Head/Heart/Feet ACTION Step(s)

  2. Welcome BackOur END IN MIND for Tonight • Review Week2 • Introduce Public Victory • Habit 4 – Think Win-Win • Habit 5 – Seek 1st to Understand • Habit 6 - Synergize

  3. STARTS WITH YOU CHARACTER

  4. Muriel Summers WORK & PLAY WITH OTHERS PERSONALITY

  5. Connections PUBLIC Victory PRIVATE Victory

  6. Habit 4Think Win-Win

  7. End in Mind for H4 • Win-win thinking vs.… • Abundance vs. Scarcity • Competition vs. Cooperation • When to think win-win

  8. Buddy Up: Extreme Tic Tac Toe

  9. WOULD YOU THINK WIN-WIN? Imagine you are playing in a college softball game… the game is on the line. The other team hits a homerun… but as the runner is rounding first base, she doesn’t touch the bag. As she tries to go back, she severely injures her knee and is lying on the ground in extreme pain. Her teammates cannot touch her or they forfeit the homerun and likely the win. What would you do if you were the opposing team? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZpYYSxYvEg

  10. Habit 4—Principle There is plenty for everyone Paradigm Shared recognition Seek mutual benefit We stop hoarding Win-win agreements Effective, long-termrelationships requiremutual respect andmutual benefit. Generosity Win-win systems Gratitude Share Collectivity Open the doors Relationships Optimizers Result Behavior 4 89 Habit Think Win-Win

  11. Ineffective: There is only so much, and the more you get, the less thereis for me. SCARCITY MENTALITY Effective:There is plenty out therefor everyone, and more to spare. ABUNDANCE MENTALITY 4 89 Habit Think Win-Win

  12. Abundance vs. Scarcity Mentality • Abundance • Opportunities are endless • More than enough for everyone • Happy for successes of others • Treat everyone with respect • Share recognition & credit • Inner sense of personal security/worth • Scarcity • Opportunities are few and far between • There is only so much • Threatened by successes of others • Treat people with varying degrees of respect • Difficulty sharing recognition and credit • Self-worth comes from being compared and competition

  13. 6 Paradigms of human interactionp. 90-91 • Win-Win • Win-Lose • Lose-Win • Lose-Lose • Win • Win-Win or NO DEAL 4 from Scarcity & 2 from Abundance

  14. Movie Scene – Show US … TELL • 6 groups • Review the paradigm assigned to your group • Think of a scene in a movie that illustrates your paradigm related to winning or your own scenario • Be prepared to: 1) Name the movie or just act out own scene 2) Explain the scene (act it out if you are daring) 3) How it ties to your paradigm of winning (or losing)

  15. Abundance or Scarcity? Complete inventory on p. 92 (both from a personal & professional standpoint) Private Victory BEFORE Public Victory

  16. When to Think Win/Win p. 93

  17. How to think Win-win in Competitive Situations

  18. 4 Actions of Win-Win Thinkers • Balance courage and consideration • Seek mutual benefit • Create win-win agreements • Build win-win systems

  19. Courage and Consideration COURAGE Willingness AND ability to speak thoughts and feelings CONSIDERATION Willingness AND ability to seek and listen to others’ thoughts and feelings with respect

  20. 1. The Courage-and-Consideration Grid p. 94 High Courage Low Consideration High Courage High Consideration Win-Lose Win-Win Low Courage Low Consideration Low Courage High Consideration Lose-Lose Lose-Win Personal and professional relationship 4 94 Habit Think Win-Win

  21. Kids get it – DO YOU? The Sharing Experiment

  22. 2. Seek Mutual Benefit p. 95 Melissa & Chris Co-parenting communications Be proactive- have a plan Communication with me, school, kids Safety/assurance kids Appreciation for what I do as a stepmom Acknowledge school busy-ness Thoughtful decisions Safety/assurance kids Feel like he is in charge Efficient communication with ex Personal relationship 4 95 Habit Think Win-Win

  23. Seek Mutual Benefit • Which column easier to fill? • Consider… • If you know the other person’s wins better than your own- game up courage • If you know your wins best, game up on consideration

  24. Win-Win Agreements p. 96 • Works best for • Clarifying expectations • Increasing empowerment • Delegating responsibilities • Align conflicting priorities • ALL kinds of relationships Ground rules • Desired results • Guidelines • Resources • Accountability • Consequences

  25. WIN-WIN AGREEMENT APPLIED p. 96 • Desired Results • green and clean • Guidelines • neighbor’s lawn • Resources • buckets, hoses, dad • Accountability • twice week with dad • Consequences • allowance • Desired Results • Guidelines • Resources • Accountability • Consequences Green & Clean Video Clip 4:50 4 96 Habit Think Win-Win

  26. WIN-WIN AGREEMENT APPLIED p. 99 Build WIN-WIN Systems For win-win to work inside a team or an organization of any type, the systems need to support it. Training, planning, communication, budgeting, information, compensation systems – all of these have to be based on the principle of win-win. 4 96 Habit Think Win-Win

  27. WIN-WIN AGREEMENT APPLIED p. 99 Build WIN-WIN Systems What is one action you could take inside your Circle of Influence to improve “the system?” 4 96 Habit Think Win-Win

  28. Teach to Learn Complete p. 100-101 with your table mates It’s a WIN-WIN! 

  29. Habit 5Seek first to understand, then be understood

  30. Listening- • Activity – Three little pigs

  31. Habit 5- End in Mind: • Perception vs. reality • Mutual understanding • Diagnose before prescribing • Empathic listening

  32. Habit 5- Seek First to..... Understand

  33. LISTENING is So IMPORTANT… Just ask the German Coast Guard Trainee

  34. Attitude & Skill In habit 4 - attituderequired for the Public Victory. Habit 5 - skillrequired to achieve the Public Victory. 2 parts: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.

  35. INEFFECTIVE-Listen with the intent of people understanding my point • Actions • Intent to reply • Confront, defend, offend • Don’t speak up at all • EFFECTIVE-I have greater influence if I truly understand them first • Actions • Empathic listening • Respectfully seek to understand

  36. Habit 5—Principle Listen with the intent to understand Paradigm To communicateeffectively with me,you must firstunderstand me. Behavior *Influence *Solutions *Clarity *Problem solving *Diagnose Before Prescribe *Listen empathically *Seek to be understood Result Effective communication takes place only in an environment of trust. The more people understand one another, the more they trust one another. 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

  37. Levels of Listening • Empathic – WANT to UNDERSTAND • Attentive – Consciously CHOOSE to listen • Selective • Pretending • Ignore

  38. Barriers to Listening: • Our paradigms are correct and universal • Fix each others’ paradigms. • We respond without understanding It’s Not About the Nail

  39. Barriers to Effective Listening 1. Preoccupied with my own issue 2. Uninterested in the other person or issue 3. Dislike for the other person 4. Assumption that I get the picture 5. Thinking faster than the other to be able to respond with, my own story, solution 6. Bored 7. Detached - not my problem! Complete p. 108

  40. What we tend to do: Autobiographical responses: (pg 109) • Advising: Giving counsel, advice, and solutions to problems. • Probing: Asking questions from our own frame of reference or agenda. • Interpreting: Explaining another’s motives and behavior based on our own experience; trying to figure people out. • Evaluating: Judging, and either agreeing or disagreeing.

  41. At your table… P. 109 Identify phrases for each of the autobiographical responses Advise- “Well, you had better…” Probe- “When? Who? Why?” Interpret- “You didn’t really like that person anyway” Evaluate- “That’s terrible… they shouldn’t have…” APIE- Consider when these are used inappropriately, it is like A PIE in the face

  42. Psychological Air When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it is like giving them emotional oxygen. ~Dr. Stephen Covey

  43. Video Empathic Listening Video: 4:34 *FOBFO *Speaker/Listener Technique 5 110 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

  44. Empathic Listening • What was the intent of the listener? • How could you tell? • How might this have turned out differently? • Tendency- Solutions • If we use autobiography when empathic listening is needed, we make an emotional withdrawal. • May just miss the real issue

  45. Empathetic Listening • P. 110 • Empathic Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. • It is not listening to advise, counsel, reply, refute, solve, fix, change, judge, agree, disagree, question, analyze, or figure out.

  46. Ears Eyes Heart Chinese Symbol for Listening “To Listen With a Virtuous Heart” Level 5 Listening 5 110 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

  47. Reading the signs pg. 111 7% 38% 55%

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