Cross-Faculty Seminar for DP14 applicants (100 word summary and key words) How to get (or lose) the assessor ’ s attenti

1. Cross-Faculty Seminar for DP14 applicants (100 word summary and key words)How to get (or lose) the assessor’s attention in the first 2 minutes

2. How to get (or lose) the assessor’s attention in the first 2 minutes • This is not a joke. • Most assessors are reading 10 - 20 proposals. Many will be outside their direct expertise. Rapid culling is essential…..which pile will yours be in? • High levels of boredom and exasperation are known to occur……… • First point is a clear, if not catchy, title – like the one above. • Second is a 100-word summary that clearly and concisely explains -- • What the problem is • Why it is important • How you will approach a solution • What the outcomes will be • Why this is a GOOD THING for the world

3. Example 1: Biology Title: Mosaic Lateralization  Keywords LATERALIZATION, EVOLUTION, COMPARATIVE COGNITION Hemispheric lateralization is an integral and ubiquitous feature of human and animal brains. Despite its ubiquity, we lack a thorough understanding of the ultimate consequences of brain asymmetry. Recent evidence challenges the traditional view that lateralization shows a highly conserved pattern across all vertebrates. We develop a new framework, “mosaic lateralization”, which allows for species and task specific analysis of the costs/benefits of lateralization. By applying this approach to a range of behavioural contexts in birds and humans, we will identify the fitness consequences of specific lateralities and thereby gain a greater understanding of laterality evolution in vertebrates. What is this about? What really is going to be done? Why is this important?

4. Example 1: 100-word summary

5. Example 1:Suggestion for 100 word summary Possible improvement (from non-biologist) (725 characters) All human and animal brains show hemispheric lateralization – the XXXX of brain functions – but we do not understand its origins or evolutionary significance. Recent evidence from XXXX challenges the traditional view that lateralization has similar patterns of XXXX across all vertebrates. We will carry out experiments on XXXX to test a new conceptual framework, Mosaic Lateralization, which proposes XXXX (define the idea). If this model is correct, it will a more precise analysis of the costs/benefits of lateralization. XXX (types of data or experiments) on/from humans and birds will identify the fitness consequences of specific types of laterality, and give us a better understanding of how laterality has evolved in vertebrates.

6. Example 1:Suggestions for keywords and title Comments: not really suggestions, since I don’t understand….. Original: LATERALIZATION, (of what?) EVOLUTION (includes everything) COMPARATIVE COGNITION (cognition not mentioned in text Meaningless outside the fraternity? Does not convey engagement, excitement, or any broader context How did our brains evolve? A new model based on mosaic lateralization (still jargon) Mosaic Lateralization 

7. Example 2: Psychology? Computing? Keywords: TRAINING SIMULATIONS, VIRTUAL REALITY, EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT Title: i-Train: A Scenario Engine for Training First Responders Our aim is to investigate scenario engineering in training simulations to enhance learning outcomes in critical decision making for emergency management. The expected outcome is a novel framework for a scenario engine (i-Train), to be used in training first responders, collecting psycho-physiological feedback from its users. NSW emergency responders suffer from a lack of, or ineffective, training because resources have been focused elsewhere. We propose to deliver cost effective programs across a widely spread workforce, working a variety of different rosters in emergency services. Traditional face to face methods, are cost prohibitive in most contexts and some essential training is simply not delivered in a timely or appropriate manner. Good example of upside-down structure. Pompous language. Not clear what will be done, or how…….

8. Example 2: Comments

9. Example 2: Possible improvement (from non-expert) (760 characters) NSW emergency-response personnel are not getting essential training in critical decision making for management of emergency situations, partly because traditional face-to-face training methods are usually too expensive. We aim to deliver new, cost-effective programs that can reach across a widely-spread workforce, working a variety of different rosters. We will use scenario engineering – the use of XXXX – to develop i-Train, a novel framework for simulated scenarios that can be used in training first responders and will collect psycho-physiological feedback (what is this??) from its users to XXXX (purpose of doing this). This will give first-response personnel a significantly higher level of preparedness and efficiency in managing emergency situations of all types. (emphasise community benefit -- in short simple words…..)

10. Example 2: Comments on title, keywords i-Train: A Scenario Engine for Training First Responders Jargon in the title – not good ITrain: Using virtual reality to train emergency personnel This at least mentions one of the proposed keywords Keywords TRAINING SIMULATIONS VIRTUAL REALITY (not mentioned in text) EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT

11. Example 3: Physics? Title Terahertz technology for next generation communication and sensing systems Keywords TERAHERTZ TECHNOLOGY, TERAHERTZ APPLICATIONS, TERAHERTZ PHOTONICS The aim of this project is to develop new and enabling terahertz technologies and to demonstrate their application in novel communication and sensing systems. The project is significant because of the fundamental advances it will drive in terahertz technology, and the impact of those advances in practice, e.g. on ultrabroadband wireless communications and sensing. The team of three outstanding investigators, including two world-leading European researchers, will ensure groundbreaking project outcomes, including; novel terahertz sources; new terahertz signal processing devices (e.g. couplers and filters); and new techniques for modulation and transmission of ultrabroadband signals in practical terahertz communication and sensing systems. Typical of an “indicative” summary – does not actually define the problem, or what actually will be done. This one also assumes that because they are important, and they say it is REALLY SIGNIFICANT, that’s enough. Some proposals from ANU, after they joined the ARC program, sounded like this (and failed).

12. Example 3: Comments on the 100-word summary

13. Example 3: Suggested revision (720 characters) I am too ignorant to rewrite this, but here are some suggestions--- Introductory sentence explaining what “Terahertz” means, how it is different from what we have now – what is the problem with present technology? Second sentence describing what actually will be done in the project – is this software development, hardware development, theory, or what? The outcomes will drive fundamental advances in terahertz technology, and these will impact in practice on ultrabroadband wireless communications and sensing. Groundbreaking project outcomes will include novel terahertz sources; new terahertz signal processing devices (e.g. couplers and filters); and new techniques for modulation and transmission of ultrabroadband signals in practical terahertz communication and sensing systems.

14. Example 4: Earth Sciences: A successful proposal (2012 round)

15. Example 4: A catchy, but informative, title Title: Note catchy start, then more details – says exactly what the aim is, but with a hint of excitement (e.g. ”unveiling”)

16. Example 4: 100-word summary Sentence #1: What is the aim and why is it important? Sentence #2: Why do we need to do more research? Sentences #3-4: What we will do and how we will do it – note indication of novel approaches Sentence #5: Expected outcomes and why it is a Good Thing

17. Example 4: Media Release: What we will do, and how it will benefit society

18. Example 4: Keywords Key Words: Simple (at least to any Earth scientist), and mostly repeated in the title and/or summary

19. Lessons - 1 Lessons – 100-word summary (and media release) – see Proposal #4 1. First line(s) – What is the problem and why is it important? 2. Next – What will you do to solve it? Approach, methods. Must be simple but direct. If possible, stress novelty or innovation aspects of your approach. 3. Finally – What will the concrete results be, how will they solve the problem, and how will they benefit science and/or society (or some other grouping) 4. Don’t leave the referee with questions like the ones I have highlighted in yellow in examples above.

20. Lessons - 2 Thoughts on Titles: 1. Try to convey the problem, and some excitement, already in the title 2. Keep it short and direct 3. See Proposal #4: something “catchy”, then real info

21. Lessons - 3 Other advice: Avoid jargon (i.e. words a non-expert will not know at all) (or explain it) Use straightforward declarative sentences, with no unnecessary adjectives or hype. Try to avoid passive ones (“It will be shown that……”) Avoid using nouns (especially strings of them) as adjectives/adverbs, and use hyphens to connect adjective-nouns if they can’t be avoided (e.g. “gaseous mercury air surface exchange” air-surface exchange of gaseous Hg). Check for consistency between title, summary and keywords. Don’t have a new idea suddenly appearing in the keywords……

22. Finally: Good Luck, and Keep Trying!

23. 100 Word Summaries Professor Catriona Mackenzie Faculty of Arts catriona.mackenzie@mq.edu.au

24. Why are 100 word summaries and key words important? • 3 reasons: • Because both 100 word summaries and keywords play an important role in the selection of college and external assessors from the ARC Database. • Because external assessors will decide whether or not they want to assess your application on the basis of the 100 word summary. • Because the quality of the 100 word summary can have a positive or negative impact on the assessor’s attitude towards your application.

25. Some general points • Aim for clarity and accessibility • Make sure that what you write is accessible to someone who is intelligent and open-minded, but not an expert in your field. • Keep it simple • Sentences should be short, simple, and succinct. • Make it engaging • Aim to give reviewers a sense of why your project is interesting and important.

26. Some general points: • Avoid jargon, rhetoric and vagueness • Jargon and rhetoric are more likely to annoy than impress • Include all the logical steps • Don’t assume that reviewers share your presuppositions or theoretical assumptions. • Don’t mystify the reviewers • Reviewers should be able to understand immediately what you propose to do and why it is important

27. Most importantly • Write multiple drafts and ensure that they are read by several colleagues, including colleagues outside your discipline.

28. Example 1: Original Title: Legal Regimes for the Conservation and Management of Sharks: Integrating National, Regional and International Strategies 100 Word Summary Sharks are critical to the marine ecosystem, yet many shark species have been decimated. This project aims to improve shark conservation and management in Australia and internationally by exploring legal initiatives at national, regional and international levels of government, focusing on how they inter-relate, and formulating the correct mix of regulatory tools. These legal strategies are a critical element to shark protection and will have broader resonance for ocean governance. The outcomes include advancing scholarly understanding of marine governance, and the intersection of national, regional and international laws, as well as providing targeted advice for policy-makers, scientists, conservation organisations and other stakeholders. 50 Word Summary The purpose of the project is to improve shark conservation and management at the national, regional and international levels of government, as well as inform ocean governance debates. Coherent and comprehensive legal strategies will be devised and will complement efforts of stakeholders in the sustainable management of sharks and their habitats. Keywords Field of Research FOR Codes/percentage 1 sharks 1 Environmental and Natural Resources Law/60 2 conservation 2 International Law (excl. International Trade Law)/40 3 international environmental law 4 law of the sea

29. Problems? • Summary misdirects the reader’s focus, initially suggesting this is a science project, rather than a legal project. • This misdirection is then repeated in the 50 word summary and keywords. • Title and 100 word summary are overly wordy. • Sentences are too complex. • At times it is vague, eg. ‘will have broader resonance for ocean governance’. How?

30. Example 1: Revised version Title: Improving the Global Governance of Sharks: Obstacles, Options and Opportunities 100 Word Summary Emerging science indicates that sharks play a critical role in maintaining marine ecosystem health. Yet current governance regimes have not been effective and many shark species continue to diminish. In this context, effective laws are critical to improving sharks’ conservation status. This project will enhance international laws and institutions for shark conservation and management by confronting obstacles that prevent existing laws working better, identifying best practice global governance options and highlighting opportunities for legal reform. This research will have broader resonance for oceans governance by identifying appropriate legal frameworks and regulatory mechanisms that balance conservation and utilization of marine species. 50 Word Summary Improving the global governance of sharks is critical in light of their poor conservation status and importance for marine ecosystems. This research will make an important contribution to their conservation and sustainable use by identifying obstacles and opportunities for working better with existing laws and making recommendations for reform. Keywords Field of Research FOR Codes/percentage 1 international law 1 180116 - International Law (excl. International Trade Law)/70 2 sharks 2 180111 - Environmental and Natural Resources Law/30 3 environmental law

31. Why is this an improvement? • First sentence situates the project in the context of science, but the following sentence makes clear that this is a legal project. • This is also clearly signalled in the 50 word summary and keywords. • Summary is clearer and simpler. • Makes clear why legal governance regimes are important for conservation. • Explains how the project ‘will have broader resonance for ocean governance’.

32. Example 2: Original Title: How religious clerics, medical authorities, and the media shape Muslim interpretations of three reproductive health technologies in Egypt 100 Word Summary This research investigates 3 reproductive health technologies in Egypt: emergency contraception, erectile dysfunction drugs, and hymenoplasty. Examining how medical authorities, Islamic jurisprudence, and the media influence Muslims’ opinions about these technologies will show the role of government and medical experts in individuals’ sexual and reproductive lives. The research will help us better understand the relationship between Egyptian Muslims’ relationship with religious authorities and the influences of biomedicine on a society’s ideas about sexuality, gender roles, when life begins, and how individuals relate to God. The resulting book and articles will contribute to improved Australian understandings of Islam in the Middle East. 50 Word Summary Studying emerging reproductive health technologies in Egypt reveals social constructions of desire, morality, and appropriate gender roles and sexuality in this populous Middle Eastern country. The resulting ethnographic book, articles, and media outreach will broaden international understandings of the beliefs and everyday practices of Muslims. Keywords Field of Research FOR Codes/percentage 1 anthropology 4 Egypt 1 Social and Cultural Anthropology/70 2 gender 5 sexuality 2 Islamic Studies/30 3 Islam 6 reproductive health

33. Problems? • Title unnecessarily convoluted. • First sentence misdirects focus onto reproductive technologies, rather than onto influence of medical and religious authorities. • Some sentences unnecessarily wordy • 50 word summary assumes reader shares CI’s theoretical interests • Logical connections not sufficiently clear; some repetition • Outcomes focus attention on project outputs, rather than broader relevance and impact

34. Example 2: Revised version Title: Religious clerics, medical authorities, and sexuality in Islamic interpretations of reproductive health technologies in Egypt 100 Word Summary This research investigates how medical authorities and Islamic jurisprudence influence Muslims' opinions about 3 reproductive health technologies in Egypt: emergency contraception, erectile dysfunction drugs, and hymenoplasty. Using mixed ethnographic research methods, it examines the role of government and medical experts in individuals’ sexual and reproductive lives. The research will contribute to our understanding of the relationship between Islam and medical authorities and the ways that technologies can both reflect and transform a society’s ideas about ideal and proscribed sexuality, beliefs about gender roles and families, and cosmologies about when life begins and how an individual relates to God. 50 Word Summary Taking reproductive health in Egypt as a case study, this research investigates how religious and secular authorities interact to shape access to and availability of medical technologies. The resulting ethnography and research articles will broaden international understandings of the relationship between Islam, sexuality, and modernity. Keywords Field of Research FOR Codes/percentage 1 medical anthropology 1 Social and Cultural Anthropology/70 2 sexuality and Islam 2 Islamic Studies/30 3 religion in Egypt 4 reproductive health technologies

35. Why is this an improvement? • Focus of project is clear from the outset • Identifies disciplinary research methodology • Explains the broader social relevance of focus on reproductive technologies • Also signalled in 50 word summary • Identifies outcomes in terms of heightened cross-cultural understanding, not outputs • Also signalled in 50 word summary

36. Example 3: Original Title: Funding Tyranny 100 Word Summary The project explores the political economy of tyranny in archaic Greece. It examines the role of money and coinage in strategies for obtaining and maintaining sole rule in oligarchic societies. It is focused on the example of Athens and the reign of Peisistratus and his sons, but places them in the broader context of tyrannical rule in archaic Greece. It employs the first comprehensive study of archaic Athenian coinage to examine the ways in which minting under the tyrants revolutionized money use and the state administration of wealth finance. 50 Word Summary Funding Tyranny explores the financial underpinnings of absolute rule in ancient Greek societies. It is focused on Athens and the creation of coinage by its most famous tyrant, Peisistratus. Keywords Field of Research FOR Codes/percentage 1 Greek tyrants 1 Understanding Europe's Past/45 2 Archaic Athens 2 Political Systems/35 3 Greek numismatics 3 Monetary Policy/20 4 XRF spectrometry

37. Problems? • Not clear from title, summary or order of keywords that or why this is an interdisciplinary humanities/science archaeology project • Title and aims too broad • Summary assumes too much disciplinary-specific knowledge • Summary not particularly engaging. Why should this project be funded?

38. Example 3: Revised version Title: A spring of silver, a treasury in the earth: coinage and wealth in archaic Athens 100 Word Summary This project explores the thesis that locally mined silver had an important impact on the public revenues of the Athenian state throughout the years c.550 BC-480 BC. It is the first to combine a comprehensive corpus and die study of archaic Athenian coinage with a statistically significant survey of the metal composition of these coins. It argues that these data can be employed to investigate the use of locally sourced Laurion silver in the minting of coinage as a relative indicator of mine output, of the levels of silver held in the public treasury, and of the willingness or need of public officials to convert these stocks into coin to address the changing configuration of the political economy. 50 Word Summary The purpose of the project is to study the impact of locally mined silver on the public treasury of the Athenians, and thus on the developing political economy of this important city-state during the years c.550-480 BC, by examining its employment for the minting of coins. Keywords Field of Research FOR Codes/percentage 1 Ancient numismatics 1 Archaeological Science/50 2 Archaeological science 2 Classical Greek and Roman History/50 3 X-ray fluorescence spectrometry

39. Why is this an improvement? • Catchy title • Guiding hypothesis stated at the outset • Summary and keywords make clear that this is an interdisciplinary archaeology project • Justifies involvement of second CI, budget • Explains logical connections between scientific aspects of study and historical, political, economic, social aspects. • Does not assume too much disciplinary knowledge.

40. Questions?