Love, lust & faking it the naked truth about sex, lies, and true romance

1. Love, lust & faking itthe naked truth about sex, lies, and true romance Heather Novorro novorroh1@mail.montclair.edu Kristen Ruehl ruehlk1@mail.montclair.edu Taylor B. Rogers rogerst1@mail.montclair.edu

2. Introduction • Love, Lust & Faking It • This book takes a look at different experiences of love, relationships, sex and lies through the eyes of Jenny McCarthy • The book is broken down into 3 parts: Love, Lust & Faking It • In each part, Jenny recounts instances in her life that deal with love, sexual experiences and fake people and situations that she has come across • The stories and data that appear in this book all come from episodes from Jenny McCarthy’s life and are not necessarily credible. She admits this throughout the book.

3. Part 1: Love • Young love • Reconnecting with your first love years later • First loves shape how we are in future relationships • Learning to love yourself • Self confidence without a man • Standing up for yourself • Trouble in relationships • Break ups • Abusive relationships • Couples counseling

4. Part 2: Lust • Secret fantasies/sexual encounters • Feeling comfortable with sexual desires • Threesomes • Fetishes • Prostitution in Las Vegas • Sexual Advice • Songs to put you in the mood • General sex facts • Astrological signs-compatible sexual partners • Cheating • Booty calls

5. Part 3: Faking It • Fake bodies • Fake Boobs • Botox • Lights off in the bedroom, so you seem to look better than you actually do • Fake personalities • Fake confidence • Fake sex • Fake friends

6. Introduction • This book is about a number of things, we decided to focus on the main theme: the connection between love and sex for men and women • Love and sex are inextricably linked and have been throughout time • Women and men have different views about love and sex: in some cases they mean different things (Missildine, Feldstein, Punzalan & Parsons, 2005). • Gender roles complicate sexual desire, behavior and motivation (Missildine et al., 2005) • Women tend to under-report their sexual desire, and men tend to exaggerate it (Missildineet al., 2005) • Men are reported to be more sexually motivated, whereas women are more romantically motivated. But both believe there is a connection between feelings of love and feelings of lust (Missildine et al., 2005) • “Thus there is an assumed theoretical link between the desire and pursuit of short-term relationships and sexual motivation, and the desire and pursuit or long-term, commitment oriented relationships and romantic motivation, recognizing that sexual compulsivity and romantic obsession represent extreme forms of motivation.” (Missildine et al., 2005, p. 72)

7. Introduction • Since everyone is different, each person has their own style that affects the way they experience love and sex • Altruistic love: selfless. Make sacrifices for their partners. strive for honest, patient, mature love (Hans, 2008, p.151) • Romantic love: characterized by passion and intense physical attraction (Hans, 2008, p.151) • Game-playing love: value fun and self-indulgence over commitment and emotional involvement. Enjoy having multiple partners (Hans, 2008, p.151) • Possessive love: passionate and insecure. Experience jealousy and tend to be overprotective and possessive (Hans, 2008, p.151) • Pragmatic love: preoccupied with compatibility and may avoid intimacy until relationship is perceived to have long-term stability (Hans, 2008, p.151) • Friendship love: value shared experience and their intimate relationships often come from long-term friendships (Hans, 2008, p.151) There is no background information in Love, Lust & Faking It about love and sex, or men and women’s feelings about them.

8. data • Dr. Helen Fisher – Science Behind Love(Ph. D. works at Rutgers University) • Gavin de Becker (Oprah) – Abusive Relationships(accredited Author and works with US Dept. of Justice) • Elizabeth Halliday-Bluestone – Therapist(Psychologist) • Byron Katie – Loving Yourself Before Anyone Else • Mark E. Petersen – Overcoming Masturbation (book) • Patti Stanger – Threesomes (Millionaire Matchmaker) • Suzanne Somers book “Breakthrough” • Prostitutes in Las Vegas • Interviews friends and family & polls on twitter

9. Divorce according to jenny • Interviewed several friends about their previous marriage and their divorce. • Interviewed Dr. Elizabeth Halliday-Bluestone on counseling. She states that many couples come to counseling too late. Most just want to know why their relationship didn’t work. • Jenny tells the story of her parents divorce and how she never thought it would happen to them!

10. Marriage & divorce Data received from CDC (National Marriage & Divorce Rate Trends) (Rate per 1,000 total population)

11. Divorce & population Data Received from CDC (National Marriage & Divorce Rate Trends 1 Excludes data for California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Louisiana, and Minnesota. 2 Excludes data for California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, and Louisiana. 3 Excludes data for California, Hawaii, Indiana, and Oklahoma. 4 Excludes data for California, Indiana, and Oklahoma. 5 Excludes data for California, Indiana, Louisiana, and Oklahoma.

12. Did you know…? • …that impotence is grounds for divorce in 26 US states? (impotence= inability to get an erection) • …that 85% of men who die of heart attacks during sex are found to have been cheating on their wives? • …half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with an animal? • …that kissing can keep the dentist away, because saliva washed food from the teeth and lowers the acid that causes decay? • …that the more sex you have, the more you will be offered? • …that dolphins are the only known animals other than humans that have sex for pleasure? Source: (McCarthy, 2010, p. 156-157)

13. results • Evaluating Jenny: • Dropped out of college • Famous playboy model, actress & comedian • Based on her own personal experience • Broke up with Jim Carey while writing this book

14. results • Is This Book Helpful? • “Fun and funny guide to dating and relationships” • No works cite page • Author Byron Katie: • Uses reference to author Gavin De Becker • Dr. Fisher from the Department of Anthropology • Uses her own therapist as a reference in the book

15. results • How to make a better self help book: • Do not use one person’s perspective and happenings • More supporting data and relatable chapters • Self-help books should be written by experts with real research data • Not using an inner circle of friends and family

16. Discussion/conclusion • This self-help books covers a large number of topics. She discusses love and sex through many aspects including her first love, masturbation, fantasies, harassment, astrological signs, and even songs to have on your booty call playlist. Through personal stories and interviews with friends and some experts, she covers love and lust in all forms and unlike what you may think, how NOT to fake it. • The data in the book mainly comes from sources whom have no real credentials and from non-representative samples of friends, family and twitter followers. The data that we collected discusses the divorce rates, which are the foundation for many of the stories throughout the book. This data supported many of stories Jenny told. • The biggest problems with the book would be the sources from which she collected her information and the lack of statistical data to support her stories and ideas. On the flip side, Jenny isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Through this book, she encourages women to believe in true love and to keep yourself in mind before anyone else.

17. Discussion/conclusion • Use resources and national research • Help them find a date or stay in a relationship • Jenny makes it known this book is based on her life, but for most readers, this book is a stretch • Data support her ideas • Example: “Pretty much all the baby boomers were divorced” (McCarthy, 5)

18. Exam questions 1. Being preoccupied with compatibility and avoiding intimacy until relationship is perceived to have long-term stability is an example of: A. Altruistic love B. Possessive love C. Pragmatic love D. Romantic love 2. What was Jenny’s motivation for writing Love, Lust & Faking It? A. Starting a new relationship B. Having a baby C. She wrote it to help a friend D. Her break up with Jim Carrey 3. What is the main idea of the book “Love, Lust & Faking It”? A. To enforce divorce B. A fun guide on dating and relationships C. To help manage stress D. To help abused women

19. References • Cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm • Clarity Digital Group. (2011, January). Retrieved April 14,2011 from http://www.examiner.com/books-in-dallas/love-lust- and- faking-it-by-jenny-mccarthy-a-book-review-review • Hans, Jason. (2008). Do love styles predict lifetime number of sex partners? American Journal of Sexuality Education, 3(2), 149-164. doi: 10.1080/15546120802104328 • McCarthy, J. (2010). Love, lust & faking it. the naked truth about sex, lies, and true romance. NY, NY: HarperCollins Publishers. • Missildine, W., Feldstein, G., Punzalan, J., & Parsons, J.T. (2005). S/he loves me, s/he loves me not. Questioning heterosexist assumptions of gender differences for romantic and sexually motivated behaviors. Journal of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 12,(65-74). doi: 10.1080/10720160590933662 • West Lord. (2010, December). Retrieved April 14, 2011 from http://www.westlord.com/jenny-mccarthy-website/