Revising the College Essay

1. Revising the College Essay Writing is Revising

2. Deep Revision • College writing should be free of grammar, word choice, spelling, and punctuation errors. College professors have low tolerance for error • Surface Revision is important, but secondary to Deep Revision • Real revision is more than making a few changes here and there. Real revision requires that you open yourself up to the possibility that parts of your paper -- and even your entire paper -- might need to be re-thought and re-written

3. Deep Revision • STUDIES have shown again and again that the best way to learn to write is to REWRITE. In the revision process, you improve your reading skills and your analyticalskills. You learn to challenge your own ideas, thus deepening and strengthening your argument. You learn to find the weaknesses in your writing. You may even discover patterns of error or habits of organization that are undermining your papers.

4. Revision is More than Making A Few Changes Here and there • There are two kinds of Revising: Deep Revision and Surface Revision • Deep Revision is the writer’s real work. You will review your essay to assess the quality of its meaning. • Does it say something of value? • Can the reader understand what you are trying to say? • Is the thesis clear? • Is supporting information presented in an orderly, logical, and understandable way? • Do the ideas presented hold together? • Is what you say important enough to make the reader care about the topic? • Have you convinced the reader to agree with your thesis or opinion? • These elements are called Higher Order Writing Concerns

5. Surface Revision • Eliminating surface errors--grammar, word choice, spelling, and punctuation—is essential to success in college writing • Many professors have a zero-tolerance policy for surface errors

6. Surface Revision • When you proofread, you need to slow down your reading, allowing your eye to focus on every word, every phrase of your paper. • Professors are less forgiving of spelling errors and typos than they were before the invention of SPELL CHECK. • Professors require grammatical and sentence-structure correctness and have little tolerance for error.

7. Twelve Proofreading and Editing Tips • Sleep on it • Use a checklist you create from your writing • Read your writing out loud • Edit on screen, proofread on paper • Read backwards • Proofread slowly • Read for one issue at a time • Get active with verbs • Calm down the adjectives • Get someone to proof your paper • Use Spell Check • Reread AFTER proofreading

8. Issues to address from this paper

9. Titles of Works of Literature • Major works (novel, plays, epic poems) are italicized in type and underlines in handwriting. Death of a Salesman • Sections of works (titles of chapters, magazine articles, poems, and short stories) are in quotation marks. “To Build A Fire”

10. Punctuation BEFORE quotations • A clause = comma (,) • A sentence = colon (:) Willy reflects on this incident when he says, “They won’t mind if he uses it” (Act 1). Willy reflects on this incident when he says that “they won’t mind if he uses it” (Act 1). Willy reflects on this incident: “They won’t mind if he uses it” (Act 1).

11. Punctuation AFTER quotations Willy reflects on this incident when he says, “They won’t mind if he uses it” (Act 1). Willy reflects on this incident when he says, “They won’t mind if he uses it.” (Act 1). Willy reflects on this incident when he says, “They won’t mind if he uses it,” (Act 1). Willy reflects on this incident when he says, “They won’t mind if he uses it…” (Act 1) Willy reflects on this incident when he says, “They won’t mind if he uses it” (Act 1); YES NO! NO! NO… NO!

12. All quotes must be introduced properly, gracefully, and with variety, and should be explained appropriately. Willy implies that Biff is above the law when he tells him that his coach “won’t mind if he uses [the football]” (Act 1). • Follow quotes with explanation. • Don’t integrate an explanation in the same sentence as your quote. He says, “He won’t mind if he uses it,” implying that Biff is above the law. Please don’t do that

13. Which clause at the end of a sentence • That = non-restrictive clause • Which = restrictive clause = comma For Willy, his delusions have become a part of the fabric of his life, which distract him from the inconvenient truth of real life.

14. Not only – But also • If you say “not only” you must say “but also” and there is no comma used. • Willy is a very hurting man because he is not only delusional but also suicidal.

15. Topic Sentences • Every paragraph must have one • A topic sentence cannot be a statement of fact • A topic sentence delineates what the paragraph will be discussing and illustrating. • Everything in my paragraph will relate to the topic sentence. • My concluding sentence will reinforce what my paragraph proved

21. Thesis Statement In the recent years sexual assault among college-aged women 18-24 has become more prevalent in our lives daily. Due to public affairs universities around the United States have done a poor job of protecting women who have experienced sexual assault.  American universities must give priority to protecting students against sexual assault instead of protecting the university’s public image, the Greek culture’s excessive practices, and the athletic departments dysfunctional sports culture.