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Managing Conflict

BOSTON COLLEGE WORLD-WIDE WEBINARS. Managing Conflict. Bob O’Neil Leadership and Career Management Coach. Agenda for today. Explore new ways to become more effective in conflict situations Become more aware of five different conflict management styles

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Managing Conflict

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  1. BOSTON COLLEGE WORLD-WIDE WEBINARS Managing Conflict Bob O’Neil Leadership and Career Management Coach

  2. Agenda for today Explore new ways to become more effective in conflict situations Become more aware of five different conflict management styles Recognize how and when to use of each conflict style Better understand how to make appropriate adjustments to become more effective

  3. What is Conflict? Any situation in which your concerns or desires differ from those of another person.

  4. What is Conflict Management? Conflict management is the practice of identifying and handling conflict in a sensible, fair and efficient manner.

  5. General Causes of Conflict Poorly defined goals and objectives Competition for scarce resources Unclear roles or lack of job description Shifting priorities Lack of communication Personality conflict

  6. 2008 Study by CPP, Inc • 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict • $359 billion in paid hours • 385 million workday

  7. Conflict Management Styles COMPETE COLLABORATE COMPROMISE AVOID ACCOMMODATE

  8. Different styles have different goals Competing: Win! Accommodating: Yield Avoiding: Delay Collaborating: Participation Compromise: Middle ground

  9. Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER

  10. Conflict Management Styles ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER

  11. Avoiding Conflict

  12. Conflict Management Styles ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF AVOID lose / lose COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER

  13. AvoidingUnassertive and Uncooperative When to use: • Issue is trivial • Little can be gained • Know when to postpone • Avoid emotional conflicts • You know your limitations • Allow others ownership

  14. AvoidingUnassertive and Uncooperative When to use: • Issue is trivial • Little can be gained • Know when to postpone • Avoid emotional conflicts • You know your limitations • Allow others ownership Be aware of? • Perception that you don’t care • Allows conflict to simmer • Hope is not an effective strategy

  15. Conflict Management Styles COMPETE win / lose ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF AVOID lose / lose COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER

  16. CompetingAssertive and Uncooperative When to use: • Quick, decisive action is needed • Unpopular action must be taken • Issue is vital and the right course is clear • To protect against people who take advantage

  17. CompetingAssertive and Uncooperative When to use: Be aware of? Can be aggressive and confrontational Relationships may be damaged May encourage others to use covert methods • Quick, decisive action is needed • Unpopular action must be taken • Issue is vital and the right course is clear • To protect against people who take advantage

  18. Conflict Management Styles COMPETE win / lose ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF AVOID lose / lose ACCOMMODATE lose / win COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER

  19. AccommodatingUnassertive and Cooperative When to use: • Yield to a better position • Concede, when appropriate • Make a sacrifice when it’s important to others • Creates good will and keeps the peace • Low importance

  20. AccommodatingUnassertive and Cooperative When to use: Be aware? May result in a false solution to problem May be seen as a “martyr?” Reduced creativity It’s exhausting • Yield to a better position • Concede, when appropriate • Make a sacrifice when it’s important to others • Creates good will and keeps the peace • Low importance

  21. Compromising

  22. Conflict Management Styles COMPETE win / lose COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF AVOID lose / lose ACCOMMODATE lose / win COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER

  23. CompromisingIntermediate in assertiveness and cooperation When to use: • When practical and pragmatic • Quickly achieves an expedient solution • Issues less important, but not vital • Back-up when other styles fail

  24. CompromisingIntermediate in assertiveness and cooperation When to use: Be aware? Becomes a pattern of taking the easy way out Reduces creative options Can be seen as being “indecisive” Can be seen as not wanting responsibility • When practical and pragmatic • Quickly achieves an expedient solution • Issues less important, but not vital • Back-up when other styles fail

  25. Conflict Management Styles COMPETE win / lose COLLABORATE win / win COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF AVOID lose / lose ACCOMMODATE lose / win COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER

  26. CollaboratingBoth assertive and cooperative When to use: • For important issues • Reconciling interests using win-win approach • Merging insights for richer understanding • Gaining commitments • Improving relationships

  27. CollaboratingBoth assertive and cooperative When to use: Be aware? Takes time and commitment All parties must be engaged Use on most important issues • For important issues • Reconciling interests using win-win approach • Merging insights for richer understanding • Gaining commitments • Improving relationships

  28. Conflict Management Styles COMPETE win / lose COLLABORATE win / win COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF AVOID lose / lose ACCOMMODATE lose / win COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER

  29. Six Steps in Conflict Resolution Clarify what the disagreement is Establish a common goal for both parties Discuss ways to meet the common goal Determine the barriers to the common goal Agree on the best way to resolve the conflict Acknowledge the solution and responsibilities

  30. Levels of Listening Nonlistening

  31. Levels of Listening To Tell My Story Nonlistening

  32. Levels of Listening To Agree or Disagree To Tell My Story Nonlistening

  33. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” For Understanding To Agree or Disagree To Tell My Story Nonlistening

  34. For more information on Managing Conflict • Thomas Kilmann Conflict Management Styles at kilmanndiagnostics.com • The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey • Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreements Without Giving in by Roger Fisher and William Ury • Dale Carnegie Conflict Resolution in the Workplace Guide (free download at dalecarnegie.com)

  35. Q & A • Submit questions to Bob in the “Questions” section of your webinar dashboard.

  36. Contact Information Bob O’Neil Leadership and Career Management Consultant boboneil0831@gmail.com (508) 376-5563 https://www.linkedin.com/in/boboneil1952

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