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Conflict doesn’t hurt

Conflict doesn’t hurt. No two people view things exactly the same. Conflicts easily occur when two people are unable to express clearly what they mean, feel and intent, and listen effectively to what the other person is saying.

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Conflict doesn’t hurt

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  1. Conflict doesn’t hurt No two people view things exactly the same. Conflicts easily occur when two people are unable to express clearly what they mean, feel and intent, and listen effectively to what the other person is saying. You may not be able to change how the other person thinks or feels, but you can be in charge of your own behavior. The followings are tips on peacemaking to make conflict doesn’t hurt:

  2. Positive Conflict resolution beliefs Positive conflict resolution beliefs contribute to the success in dealing with and resolving conflicts. • Conflict is neither good nor bad  • Conflict is a part of human nature • Conflict is to be expected when people interact with each other  • Conflict can teach us new skills  • Conflict can help us develop creative problem-solving skills  • There are ranges of methods to teach conflict resolution

  3. Be Calm This makes it easier to discuss a problem. You can think more clearly and the other person will feel less threatened. Be Calm

  4. Choose a good place and time to discuss the problem Find a time and a place to talk over the conflict with the other person. The time and place should be comfortable for both of you. Ask yourself, is this the best time to have this conversation.

  5. Use “I-message” • Describe the conflict in clear, concrete terms. Be specific when answering the why, what, when, where, who. • Describe behavior, feelings, consequences, and desired changes. Be specific and start sentences with "I," not "You." • Focus on behaviors or problems, not on people. • Define the conflict as a problem for both of you to solve together, not a battle to be won. I…….

  6. Listen actively • Listen to really understand the other person's feelings and point of view. • Seek first to understand, then to be understood. • Step back and try to imagine how the other person sees things. • Give your full attention and use good listening skills. • Be open – don’t argue mentally.

  7. If you would like to know more about conflict management/ interpersonal relationship to enhance your social and psychological health, you can make an appointment with our Counsellors by: On-line booking: www.polyu.edu.hk/samsPhone booking: 2766 6800Website: www.polyu.edu.hk/sao/cs/counselling_services

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