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Do You Hear What I Hear? How to be a good listener

Do You Hear What I Hear? How to be a good listener. “ Take a tip from nature- your ears aren’t made to be shut, but your mouth is.” Unknown “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak” Epictetus.

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Do You Hear What I Hear? How to be a good listener

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  1. Do You HearWhat I Hear?How to be a good listener

  2. “Take a tip from nature-your ears aren’t made to be shut, but your mouth is.”Unknown “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak” Epictetus

  3. We listen at 125-250 words per minuteWe think at 1000-3000 words per minute

  4. Payoffs of good listening • Gain knowledge • Receive better work and cooperation from others • Can help win and keep friends • Solve problems and resolve conflict • Reduce tension • Increase enjoyment in life • Strengthen family relationships

  5. Some interesting statistics • 85% of what we know, we learned by listening • 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful • We recall about 50% immediately after we listen to someone talk • We spend about 45% of time listening • We remember about 20% of what we hear

  6. Do you speak like a dolphin or a killer whale?

  7. Poor Listening Styles • Spacing out • Pretend listening • Selective listening • Word listening • Self-centered listening • Judging • Advising • Probing

  8. Genuine Listening • Listen with your eyes, heart and ears • Stand in their shoes • Practice mirroring

  9. Genuine Listening

  10. History repeats itself because no one listened the first time.anonymous

  11. What do you mean? • I didn’t say you had an attitude problem • I didn’t say you had an attitude problem • I didn’t say you had an attitude problem

  12. Genuine Listening Listen with your eyes, heart and ears Stand in their shoes Practice mirroring

  13. Genuine Listening • Listen with your eyes, heart and ears • Stand in their shoes • Practice mirroring

  14. Mimicking is . . . repeating words using the same words cold and indifferent Mirroring is . . . repeating meaning using your own words warm and caring Mirroring vs. Mimicking

  15. Mirroring Phrases • As I get it, you felt • So, as I see it • I can see that you’re feeling • You feel that • So, what you are saying is

  16. Allow own thoughts, feelings or opinions to take over conversation More concerned with what they want to say that what the other person is telling them. Focus on their own reactions rather than the feeling and needs of speaker. Concentrate on the feelings, opinions and concerns that are being expressed by the other person. Avoid interrupting the other person to comment on what he or she is saying Focus on what the speaker is saying in order to understand it. Reactive vs. Reflective

  17. See First to Understand, and then be Understood • Practicing listening is only the first half. • Share your feelings. • If you take the time to listen, chances of being listened to are very good.

  18. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat!Katharine Whitehorn

  19. Resources • The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, Sean Covey, Fireside, 1998. • Teaching Resources for Youth Educators Communications Source Book:. 4-H Youth Development Building Bridges Curriculum, University of Wisconsin Extension, 877-947-7827 • Life Lists for Teens, Pamela Espeland, Free Spirit Publishing, 2003. • The Communications Toolkit, Michigan State University Extension, 310 Ag. Hall, East Lansing, MI, 48824, 517-432-1555, $25.00

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