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From Warts to Wings: Helping Young People Live Healthier and Happier Lives. John Sommers-Flanagan, Ph.D. Department of Counselor Education University of Montana John.sf@mso.umt.edu. Today’s Plan. T hanks to Danya Perry and Communities in Schools of NC
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From Warts to Wings: Helping Young People Live Healthier and Happier Lives John Sommers-Flanagan, Ph.D. Department of Counselor Education University of Montana John.sf@mso.umt.edu
Today’s Plan • Thanks to Danya Perry and Communities in Schools of NC • Articulate 10 key principles and strategies of human change that you can use immediately in your work with students and parents • Organized by chapter: Each chapter has a story, a cartoon, and a concluding principle
Introduction Just be Inspirational and Funny While Offering Concrete Tips and Strategies
The Principle Expectations can create positive transformations or cause frustration and misery – Manage your expectations or they’ll manage you
The Principle Feed the empathic, generous, and benevolent side of yourself; be aware of and let go of your less desirable thoughts and impulses
The Principle Use passionate rewards and boring consequences (and avoid backward behavior modification)
The Principle Create your own positive respect bubble . . . and watch out for the REVENGE IMPULSE
The Principle It’s not what happens to us . . . But what we think about what happens to us . . . That causes us misery
The Principle Use the power of your mind to creatively and relentlessly focus on your goals
The Principle Allow children freedom and then learn from making gentle observations
The Principle If you want genuine cooperation Be less threatening
The Principle Collaborate Work WITH your spouse, partner, or teacher
The Principle Change is easier if you make a good plan
The Principle Love can overshadow our own unique faults or warts
Summary and Conclusions • Manage your expectations • Be aware of and let go of less desirable thoughts • Use passionate rewards and boring consequences • Create your own respect bubble; and watch out for revenge • It’s not what happens to you . . . but what you think . . . • Use the power of mind to focus on your goals • Learn from gentle observation • Be less threatening • Collaborate: Work WITH your spouse, partner, or teacher • Make an new plan • We all have warts and, if we’re lucky, we might find a wing in there somewhere too