SOCIAL AND PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT IN EARLY ADULTHOOD

1. Chapter 14 SOCIAL AND PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT IN EARLY ADULTHOOD

2. SOCIAL AND PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT IN EARLY ADULTHOOD

3. What makes young adults happy? • Happiness usually is derived from feelings of independence, competence, self-esteem, or relating well to other people. • Happiest memories = psychological needs rather than material needs satisfied • Unhappiest memories = basic psychological needs left unfulfilled • Culture influences which psychological needs are most important in determining happiness

4. What makes us tick? Social Clocks of Adulthood • Psychological timepiece that records the major milestones in our lives. • Families, careers, individualistic • Cultural influences important • Helson'sresearch on women who graduated college in early ’60s

5. Ravenna Helson • Found broad patterns of women's social clocks by studying them at the ages of 21, 27, and 43. • She found that women became more self-disciplined and committed over the years. • They felt greater independence and confidence and could cope with stress more effectively. • Many women exhibit traditional feminine behavior from age 21 to 27, finding a spouse, becoming mothers. • As children grew up, women took on less traditional roles. • Women tend to change positively over time. • Helson concluded that the social clock one chooses is not as important as the process of choosing.

6. Seeking Intimacy: Erikson's View of Young Adulthood Intimacy versus isolation stage post-adolescence into the early 30s. • Intimacy = Close, intimate relationship with others • Isolation = Feelings of loneliness and fearful of relationships (failure of the identity stage?) • Erikon's view of healthy intimacy was limited to adult heterosexuality and the goal was to produce children, a view not shared by all developmentalists today.

7. Emerging Adulthood: A New Stage of Life? Arnett: Emerging adulthood • Period between 18 and the late 20s (note brain still changing to ~24) • May be response to shifting cultural forces; delayed onset of full adulthood • Increasing amount of education needed for good career • Fewer employment opportunities overall • Frequency of cohabitation without marriage • Continued growth and change in brain development • Prefrontal cortex • Continued identity exploration • Not knowing place in life • Not fitting into adult role • Insecurity, instability, self-focus • Criticism • Ability to spend time not available to everyone • True developmental stages are not option

8. Friendship Most of our relationships with others involve friends, and for most people maintaining such relationships is an important part of adult life • Basic need for belonging • Influenced by proximity, similarity, and personal qualities

9. X Falling in Love: When Liking Turns to Loving How does love develop?

10. The progression of development of love • Most relationships develop in similar ways: • People meet, interact for long periods of time. • Seek out each other's company. • Open up more. • Share physical intimacies. • Share positive and negative feelings. • Agree on roles in relationship. • Feel psychological well-being tied to relationship success. • Their definition of themselves and their behavior changes. • See themselves & act as a couple, not separate individuals.

11. Passionate and Companionate Love: Two Faces of Love Some psychologists suggest that our love relationships can fall into two different categories: • Passionate love (sorta like romantic love)A state of powerful absorption in someone. • Companionate loveA strong affection we have for those with whom our lives are deeply involved.

12. Additional Material LABELING THEORY OF PASSIONATE LOVE (Hatfield and Berscheid) • A combination of intense physiological arousal and situational cues indicate that “love” is the appropriate label for what they are experiencing. • The physiological arousal can be produced by sexual arousal, excitement, or even negative emotions such as jealousy. • The theory is particularly useful in explaining why people may feel deepened love even when they experience continual rejection or hurt from their assumed lover. • It suggests that such negative emotions can produce strong physiological arousal. • Sex is a powerful reinforcer both classical & operant • Apply with caution

13. Sternberg's Triangular Theory: Three Faces of Love • Feelings of closeness, • affection, connection. • Thoughts of love and determination • to maintain that love. components can be combined to form eight different types of love Motivational drives relating to sex, physical closeness, and romance

14. The 8 Combinations of Love

15. The Shape of Love Over the course of a relationship, the three aspects of love intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment—vary in strength. How do these change as a relationship develops? (Source: Sternberg, 1986.)

16. Choosing a Partner: Recognizing Mr. or Ms. Right

17. Additional Material Seeking a Spouse: Is Love All That Matters? • U.S. – love as a major factor • In other cultures, love may be a secondary factor • Emotional maturity, health, similar education, chastity • Family relationships • U.S.— • love • mutual attraction. • China--- • men: good health • women: emotional stability & maturity. • South Africa/Zulu— • men: emotional stability • women: dependable character.

18. Additional Material Choosing a Mate Evolutionary perspective (Buss and colleagues) human beings, as a species, seek out certain characteristics to maximize beneficial genes and reproductive success (evolutionary perspective). • Gender differences • Men prefer physical attraction. • Women prefer ambition, industriousness. • Men are visually driven • Women are more, ah, well, ‘complex’

19. Evolutionary Perspective Countered • Critics of evolutionary approach argue that similarities across cultures relating to gender preferences reflect gender stereotyping and have nothing to do with evolution. • They say it is a rational choice for women to prefer a high earning-potential spouse and that men can afford to be concerned only with looks.

20. Additional Material Filtering Models of Mate Selection Louis Janda and Karen Llenke-Hamel suggest that people seeking mates screen potential candidates • First screen for: Broad determinants of attractiveness • Next work toward specifics • Residential proximity • Similarity/complementarity • Interpersonal attractiveness • End result: choice based on compatibility between two individuals • This is a very cerebral/thoughtful process • Life isn’t a spreadsheet or is it?

21. X Filtering Potential Marriage Partners Based on Janda & Klenke-Hamel, 1980

22. Additional Material Modern Mating Issues • Much larger selection pool • Much increased range • Race • Ethnicity • Culture • Religion, etc. • Less time pressure • Less social pressure • More “temporary alternatives” to marriage • More “permanent alternatives” to marriage

23. Do you think you will use the principle of homogamy to select a mate? • Homogamy is tendency to marry someone who is similar in age, race, education, religion, and other basic demographic characteristics. • Homogamy has traditionally been dominant standard for most marriages in US. • BUT…importance of homogamy is declining, particularly among certain ethnic groups.

24. Additional Material Marriage Outside of Racial/Ethnic Group This is partly a consequence of simple math. Asian a small % of pop White a large % of pop If whites married every Black Would be 13% of marriages

25. Additional Material The MARRIAGE GRADIENT • The tendency for men to marry women who are slightly younger, smaller, and lower in status • And for women to marry men who are slightly older, larger, and higher in status. • Marriage down is less of a social risk for men • Marriage down is less of a financial risk for men • Wealthy and/or professional women are more like men • Marrying just for status or money is risky!

26. Attachment Styles and Romantic Relationships Infant attachment style is reflected in adult romantic relationships (Shaver) • Secure • Happy and confident about future of their relationships (over 50%) • more sensitive and supportive. • Avoidant • Less invested, higher break-up rates, often feel lonely (25%) • Anxious-ambivalent • Overly invested, repeated break-ups with same partner, low self-esteem (20%) • more compulsive, intrusive

27. Additional Material Gay and Lesbian Relationships: Men with Men and Women with Women • Research findings suggest that gay and lesbian relationships are quite similar to relationships between heterosexuals • Most gays and lesbians seek loving, long-term, and meaningful relationships that differ little qualitatively from those desired by heterosexuals • Never-the-less, these relationships are statistically less permanent

28. THE COURSE OF RELATIONSHIPS

29. Additional Material Are you a POSSLQ?No, don’t raise your hand! • "Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters“ • POSSLQs tend to be young: (Increasingly common 60+) • Almost a quarter of cohabiting women and over 15 percent of cohabiting men are under 25. • Although most are white, African Americans are more likely to cohabit than whites. • Other countries have even higher cohabitation rates, such as Sweden, where cohabitation is the norm. • In Latin America, cohabitation has a long history and is widespread. • Cohabitation no longer carries the expectation, or even likelihood, of a physical relationship • Some indication that young adults with opposite gender siblings are more likely to become POSSLQs.

30. To Marry or Not to Marry: That is the Question Figure 14-5 Cohabitation The number of couples living together prior to marriage increased by 41 percent from the year 2000 to 2010. (Source: U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2010.) Married couples make up a minority of households: as of 2005, 49.7 percent of all U.S. households contained a married couple.

31. Additional Material Why do people choice cohabitation rather than marriage? Note author’s old fashioned confusion of cohabitation with expectation of sex. • Not ready for lifelong commitment • “Practice” for marriage • Reject institution of marriage • Those who feel that cohabiting increases their subsequent chances of a happy marriage are incorrect. • Chances of divorce are higher for those who have previously cohabited, according to data collected in US and Western Europe.

32. Additional Material Why marry? • Preferred alternative during early adulthood • Desirability of spouse roles • play economic, sexual role, and therapeutic and recreational role • Legitimatization of children • Only means of having children that is fully accepted by all segments of society • Legal benefits and protections • But this is rapidly changing with Obamacare & other government forced social engineering

33. Why do people wait? The age at which women and men first marry is the highest since national statistics were first collected in the late 1800s. Reflects economic concerns and the commitment to establishing career.

34. What makes marriage work? Successful married partners: • Show affection • Communicate relatively little negativity • Perceive themselves as interdependent • Experience social homogamy, similarity in leisure activity and role preferences • Hold similar interest • Agree on distribution of roles

35. Additional Material Divorce Around the World Increases in divorce rates are significant worldwide Really?!!

36. X But the news is not all bad! Most married couples: • View early years of marriage as deeply satisfying • Find themselves more deeply in love than before marriage • Report newlywed period as one of happiest in entire married life What age group?

37. Americans’ Ideal Number of Children for a Family, 1936-2011 Figure 14-9 Smaller is Better Continuing trends over the last 75 years, U.S. parents continue to prefer families with fewer children. What do you think is the ideal number of children for a family to have? (Source: Saad, 2011.)

38. Parenthood: Choosing to Have Children Deciding whether to have children is one of the most important decisions couples make • Young adults typically cite psychological reasons for having children • Vicarious reinforcement from child successes • Care or companionship in old age • Response to societal norm • People have children for psychological reasons. • Pleasure of watching them grow. • Hope children will provide for them in old age or offer companionship. • Most married couples have at least one child.

39. What produced the decline in US fertility rate? • Availability of more reliable birth control methods • Increasing numbers of working outside the home • Choosing to have children later • Cost of raising and educating children • Fear of not being good or accessible parent • US rate is 2.1 children per woman, which is less than replacement level (in 1957, it was 3.7) • In some underdeveloped countries, fertility rate > 6.9. • US women between 30 and 34 are only ones whose rate has actually increased over earlier decades.

40. Dual-Earner CouplesRise of the DINKs One of the major historical shifts affecting young adults that began in the last half of the twentieth century is the increase in the number of families in which both parents work • Close to three-quarters of married women with school-aged children are employed outside the home • More than half of mothers with children under the age of six are working

41. Dual-Earner Couples Are there chores missing for men? Women? Figure 14-10 Division of Labor Although husbands and wives generally work at their paying jobs a similar number of hours each week, wives are apt to spend more time than their husbands doing home chores and in child-care activities. Why do you think this pattern exists? (Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2012.)

42. Todays Family • ~¾ of married women w/ school kids work outside home. • > 50% of mothers w/ kids under 6 work outside home. • In majority of families, both partners work, but wife generally spend more time taking care of the children. • Husbands primarily perform outside chores, and women do housework, child care, meal preparation. • Although husbands and wives work about same number of hours at their paying jobs, women spend more time doing chores and child care tasks. • Women's household chores tend to be devoted to things that need immediate attention and wives may experience greater levels of anxiety and stress.

43. X Additional Material Two's a Couple, Three's a Crowd? • Having children can lead to greater marital satisfaction • for couples already satisfied with their marriage • For couples that want children • For couples who have family support network • For marriages in which satisfaction is low, having children may make a bad situation worse • Dramatic shift in spouse's roles • Challenges to marital satisfaction • Successful coping

44. X Additional Material Two's a Couple, Three's a Crowd? 2 • Not all couples experience decrease in marital satisfaction upon birth of child. Factors that permit couples to successfully weather stress of child: • Working to build fondness and affection towards each other. • Remaining aware of events in spouse's life and responding to those events. • Considering challenges controllable and solvable. • Satisfaction closely related to state of marriage before birth of child. Is this based on research or opinion?

45. Staying Single: I Want to Be Alone • Statistics • About 20% of women and 30% of men in U.S. choose singlehood • Rationale • View marriage as negative • View marriage as restrictive • Don't find anyone they want to spend the rest of their lives with. • Value independence, autonomy, and freedom. • Societal view • stigmatizes single individuals • particularly women.

46. WORK: CHOOSING AND EMBARKING ON A CAREER

47. Identity During Young Adulthood: Role of WorkAccording to Vailant Career consolidation (20 to 40) • General pattern of psychological development as young adults center on careers • people work hard to advance in their jobs • Career concerns supplant focus on intimacy Bridge between Erikson's intimacy and generativity stages Criticisms • Highly restricted sample limits Generalizability • Dated findings questions in view of shifts in attitudes toward importance of work • Vaillant only studied men.

48. Picking an Occupation Ginzberg's Career Choice Theory • Fantasy period Lasts until 11 years old. Career choices made without regard to skills, abilities, or available jobs. • Tentative period During adolescence, think about job requirements, how their abilities & interests fit them • Realistic period Young adults explore specific career options through actual experience or professional training Criticism – too simple • Non-representative sample • Overstates choices and options to lower SES people • Age demarcations may be too rigid

49. Picking an Occupation Holland's Personality Type Theory says that certain personality types match certain careers • Realistic • Intellectual • Social • Conventional • Enterprising • Artistic Criticism • Lack of fit for many • Exceptions to typology

50. Gender and Career Choices: Women's Work • Traditionally: • Communal (relationships) professions = women • Agentic(getting things accomplished) professions = men • Today: • Women less likely found in male-dominated professions • engineering and computer programming. • Women's wages still lag behind those of men • even though opportunities are greater. • Women seem to hit the “glass ceiling,” an invisible barrier that prevents promotions beyond a certain level. • Women rather than men still expected to maintain home, run family, raise kids