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Young Girls Friendships: Success & Disasters. Deirdre Brandner Psychologist. Friendship s. Girls beginning to figure out who they are, what they like, what is important to them They want friends, to be liked and to fit in Get upset when left out, feel they are not good enough
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Young Girls Friendships:Success & Disasters Deirdre Brandner Psychologist
Friendships • Girls beginning to figure out who they are, what they like, what is important to them • They want friends, to be liked and to fit in • Get upset when left out, feel they are not good enough • Don’t want to share friends, feels others are invading their friendships. • What problems do you see arising ?
Differences between girls and boys • Girls have better at eye contact • Girls historically have a critical need to trust and cooperate • Female role carer means sense of identity is often formed by feedback from others • Girls define friendship as someone who is honest and likes me !!!
Challenges of Friendships • Receive negative feedback from friends, but still want to be part of the group Mean Girls http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VF06kEKGUk&feature=related • Rather stay in destructive group that risk being lonely • Internalise the feedback they receive and blame themselves. • Improves as they get older • Those with better resilience, self concept have greater coping strategies • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_MKkvKN90Y
What to do ? Four step approach for Parents • Observe • Connect • Guide • Support to Act
Learning about Friendship • How to be a friend ? • Why friendship is a two way street ? • What makes good friendships • How to make it last ?
Putting in Perspective • Stepping stones • Our baggage not theirs • Model effective strategies • Remain positive