8 stages in developing relational competence with others, nature & place

1. 8 stages in developing relational competence with others, nature & place (based largely on: Ruthellen Josselson 1996. The Space Between Us: Exploring the Dimensions of Human Relationships. Sage, Thousand Oaks, CA) 4 sensory grounded experiences: from the beginning of one’s life 4 cognitive/meaning-makingprocesses

2. Holding provision of safety, security & assurance someone being there for you safe, non-frightening early experiences lay the foundation for expectations of support, feeling secure, at ‘home’, & physically connected with nature & place

3. Attachment acknowledged reliable emotional (& material) connection(s) recognition of primacy of our dependence on, & relationship with, ‘nature’ (emotionally connected with nature & place) provides foundation for development of a ‘sense of place’ nature as ‘sanctuary’; also with therapeutic/healing roles recognition of special & favourite places basis for subsequent familiarity & identification with physical & bio-ecological characteristics of particular environments

4. Passionate Experience encounter intense pleasure e.g. through respectful physical contact experience of multifaceted, holistic pleasures of nature fascination & joy with its diversity, mystery & ‘otherness’ stimulation, excitement & development of deep love of nature basis for development of sense of stewardship & responsibilities

5. Eye-to-Eye Validation communication of authenticity confirmation, encouragement, understanding & empathy for one’s ‘being’ also, conditional approval of one’s ‘doing’ positive (& negative) feedback from interactions with nature (pets, other domesticated animals, wildlife, plants & place) becoming aware of both the predictable & knowable & also the spontaneous, emergent & mysterious (the largely ‘unknown’) properties of nature

6. Identification & Idealisation recognition & respect for others’ desirable qualities (& of the undesirability & repulsion of others) key drive for personal development & transcendence basis for attraction to mentors & partners (& ‘totems’) recognition of the amazingness, wonder & power of nature & of the value of the numerous processes & ‘models’ in nature its use in metaphors & mythology basis for respecting its limits & working with its potential needed for managing one’s desire to contain, control, own & domesticate nature; & for designing & redesigning with nature

7. Mutuality & Resonance simultaneously recognising similarities in our experiences, thinking & feeling; & being willing to share them openly experiencing connectedness, communion & sense of ‘we’ finding & recognising oneself in the ‘other & otherness’ through awe, compassion, integration & collaboration, learning to recognise synergy, synchronicity & mutuality in nature further deepening of respect of limits & realisation of diverse possibilities & opportunities involves letting go of competition & desires to control deepening one’s connection with other species, & nature in general described well in some nature poetry

8. F lat outstretched upon a mound of earth I lie; I Press my ear against its surface and I hear far off and deep, the measured sound of heart that beats within the ground. And with it pounds in harmony with the swift, familiar heart in me. They pulse as one, together swell, together fall: I cannot tell my sound from Earth’s, for I am part of rhythmic, universal heart. - Elizabeth Odell

9. Embeddedness identification with our connectedness recognition of being a small part of larger groupings enables us to speak from our particular roles, groups & places also, being able to contribute to them & feel we belong basis for interest in history, & concern for inter- generational & global equity, & the needs of ‘others’ & for experiencing meaning in one’s life deep connectedness to the planet & its other inhabitants ‘spiritual & soulful’ experiences in nature & sense of our lineage & place within it; & of its ‘holographic’ aspects deepens our evolving sense of meaning, & of the wonder of life

10. Tending & Caring our experience of this enables us to choose to offer ourselves in the service of others & ‘otherness’ being there for them, particularly in their times of need involves diverse expressions of empathy & sensitivity to boundaries recognition of the joys experienced in caring for nature, & for specific habitats, biodiversity, ecological cycles & processes protection from invasive species & materials; & recognition of responsibilities for ‘stewardship’