Agenda

1. Plain Talk:Clear Customer DocumentsThat WorkA two-day workshop for Washington’s Plain Talk leadsJuly 2005Washington Department of PersonnelInstructor: Dana Howard Botka

2. Agenda Day 1 - 8 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. • Looking at the Plain Talk Executive Order • Why plain language? Example and discussion • Starting your Plain Talk project • Choosing and planning your document Lunch • Making your revisions legally sound Guest speaker – Office of the Attorney General • Writing guidelines (Discussion and exercises)

3. Agenda Day 2 - 8 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. • Writing guidelines, continued • “Group write” outlines of actual documents • Navigating Plain Talk through your agency Lunch • Usability testing • Conclusion

4. After this workshop, you should be able to: • Plan a Plain Talk rewrite • Understand basic plain language principles • Know what legal issues to watch for • Have a plan for navigating your project through the agency • Test the usability of new documents

5. Executive Order 05-03 Plain Talk – March 24, 2005 • “… we recognize that clear, easy-to-understand communications are essential to good service. We communicate with businesses and individuals through letters, forms, instructions, announcements, publications and other documents … They must be written and designed to they can be easily understood.”

6. Expectations for agencies • Choose documents customers read. • Develop a Plain Talk plan that will work – and is meaningful -- for your type of agency. • Publicize your efforts internally. • Ensure readability and “use-ability” of the new documents. • Track and measure outcomes.

7. What is Plain Talk? It is plain language, or writing the typical customer can understand and act upon after a single reading.

8. Original VA Letter Dear __________: Please furnish medical evidence in support of your pension claim. The best evidence to submit would be a report of a recent examination by your personal physician, or a report from a hospital or clinic that has treated you recently. The report should include complete findings and diagnoses of the condition which renders you permanently and totally disabled. It is not necessary for you to receive an examination at this time. We only need a report from a doctor, hospital, or clinic that has treated you recently. This evidence should be submitted as soon as possible, preferably within 60 days. If you do not receive this information within 60 days from the date of this letter, your claim will be denied. Evidence must be received in the Department of Veterans Affairs within one year from the date of this letter; otherwise, benefits, if entitlement is established, may not be paid prior to the date of its receipt. SHOW VETERAN’S FULL NAME AND VA FILE NUMBER ON ALL EVIDENCE SUBMITTED. Privacy Act Information: The information requested by this letter is authorized by existing law (38 U.S.C. 210 (c)(1)) and is considered necessary and relevant to determine entitlement to maximum benefits applied for under this law. The information submitted may be disclosed outside the Department of Veterans Affairs only as permitted by law. _____________________ Adjudication Officer

9. Revised VA Letter Dear _____________: We have your claim for a pension. Our laws require us to ask you for more information. The information you give us will help us decide whether we can pay you a pension. What We Need Send us a medical report from a doctor or clinic that you visited in the past six months. The report should show why you can’t work. Please take this letter and the enclosed Guide to your doctor. When We Need It We need the doctor’s report by [date]. We’ll have to turn down your claim if we don’t get the report by that date. Your Right to Privacy The information you give us is private. We might have to give out this information in a few special cases. But we will not give it out to the general public without your permission. We’ve attached a form which explains your privacy rights. If you have any questions about this letter, you may call us at 1-800-827-1000. The call is free. Sincerely, _________________________ Enclosures: Doctor’s Guide, Your Privacy Rights

10. What about this language? "We ask that you not add risk classifications or rates to your quarterly reports. If your firm's nature of business has changed or you need additional risk classifications added to your industrial insurance account, please contact your account manager by calling 360-902-4817."

11. How is this different? Has your business changed? Do you have new employees -- or employees who have new job duties? If so, please call us for help before adding new risk classifications or rates to your quarterly reports. Your company's rates must be individually calculated by your account manager. Thanks for helping us make your paperwork go smoothly. The number to call is: 360-902-4817

12. Accusing tone makes readers think they’re in the wrong. The customer isn’t told why the letter was sent. Wasted “prime real estate.” What’s the message? “Provider” is an insider term. In this case it means “your pharmacist”. Antiquated legal terms make customers think they need an attorney. No clear instructions for the worker. In fact, instructions appear to be to the pharmacist. All caps makes the letter difficult to read.

13. “This letter was pretty much useless. It did nothing but generate calls. Customers had absolutely no idea what we were talking about.” - Donna May, L&I Medical Information and Billing program

14. Put your main message at the top. Tell them why you are sending the letter. State instructions clearly in a logical order. Use boldface for your main points. It will make it easier to scan. WAC references belong at the bottom. Keep background information to a minimum. Include your website address.

15. Words from L&I’s hotline manager… “ We used to get lots of questions about procedures. And questions about terms, like objective findings and abeyance. Now that has stopped. Any time there has been some kind of plain English program, there’s been a serious decline in questions. The reaction is not immediate, but it’s quick enough. We see it -- and it’s amazing.” - Bob Brown, Manager L&I Hotline staff 175,000 calls/year from injured workers and their employers

16. When customers don’t understand documents … You may have to … • Answer phone calls. • Correct customer mistakes. • Write letters to explain. • Develop background materials. • Litigate.

17. Starting your Plain Talk document … • How will you choose your documents? • Who will be involved? • What process will you use? • How long will it take?

18. #1 Choosing your documents Things to consider: • Current agency business goals • Documents known to create problems and complaints • Frequency of use • Importance of document to agency’s function • Are there related documents you must do? • History of the document: Who wrote it? Why?

19. Choosing your documents… You inventory program documents. But who knows what actually needs changing? • Interview program leaders. • Meet with front counter & hotline staff. • Conduct informal field study of customers using documents.

20. Choosing your documents • What approach will work for your agency? • Rewrite many high-volume documents involving many people and programs? (L&I) • Focus on one problem document at a time and measure carefully? (Revenue –Licensing) • Create a team of trained in-house Plain Talk experts? (Ecology)

21. #2 Who will be involved? • Customer experts: Who knows the questions customers have after reading the letter? • Writing experts: Who excels at clear writing? • Policy experts: Who can check new letters for accuracy? • Stakeholders: Who are your interested internal/external parties?

22. Who will be involved? • Legal counsel: Who can check new letters to ensure they meet legal requirements? • Management: Who will sponsor the revision and make sure staff uses it? • Programming/distribution: Who can review for any technical roadblocks?

23. Consider “Group Write” Think about who needs to “be around the table” when you revise. • Subject matter experts need to “see” what you’re suggesting, then talk among themselves. • Making decisions together avoids time-consuming comment chains. • Group Write gives the programs ownership – They’ve seen the challenges.

24. Now that you have chosen your first document to revise … • What is your goal? • What is your most important message? • Who is your customer? • How is the document used?

25. 1. What is your goal? Examples : My goal is to: “…reduce the number of mistakes our customers make on our annual registration form.” “… decrease the number of delinquent accounts in my program.” “… increase the amount of revenue we bring in each year from voluntary tax payments.”

26. 2. What is your document’s most important message? This is what you’ve decided you need the customer to “get” more than anything else: “Renewing a registration only requires mailing a check with the form.” “They owe money – and when it’s due.” “ The doctor must answer Question #12, or we cannot pay his bill.”

27. Example of messages on top “It’s time to renew your registration.” “We have accepted your injury claim.” “We are citing you for violating an environmental law.”

28. Message on top example… Before: When a claim has been closed for over seven years (or ten years for eye injuries) only the director has the authority to grant time-loss benefits. The director may only grant these benefits in exceptional circumstances. I’m pleased to inform you that you are eligible for time-loss benefits effective Oct. 1, 2003. After: Thank you for your letter requesting wage replacement benefits related to your earlier workplace injury or illness. After reviewing your claim, I have decided to grant you these benefits, effective Oct. 1, 2003.

29. Message on the top example… Before: We have been notified that you did not receive the state of Washington warrant listed on the attached Affidavit of Lost or Destroyed Warrant Request for Replacement, form F242-026-000. The State Treasurer’s Office has informed us that the warrant is outstanding and has not been cashed as of today’s date. After: Have you cashed your L&I check yet? The State Treasurer’s Office has informed us that a check we sent you has not been cashed. Review the attached legal form. It will show the amount of the check, what it was for, and the date it was issued

30. 3. Who is your customer? • Get beyond in-house labels, such as: • “Provider” • “Employer” • “Retiree” Find out who these customers really are. Who actually opens, reads and acts on the mail? What are they like? Where are they coming from?

31. 4. How is the document used? • If it’s mailed, is it acted on by the person you’ve addressed it to? • Is it used in a place where there is high staff-turnover? • What other documents are also used ? • Are the instructions in another document? • Is it opened in a crowded or fast-paced environment?

37. Class choice …

38. But is it still legal? • What’s the Attorney General’s advice? • What problems do we watch for? • What documents need an AG ok? • How can we incorporate legal notice requirements into a “plain” document?

39. Our insurance definition of employee … • RCW 51.08.180"Worker" -- Exceptions. • (1) "Worker" means every person in this state who is engaged in the employment of an employer under this title, whether by way of manual labor or otherwise in the course of his or her employment; also every person in this state who is engaged in the employment of or who is working under an independent contract, the essence of which is his or her personal labor for an employer under this title, whether by way of manual labor or otherwise, in the course of his or her employment, or as a separate alternative, a person is not a worker if he or she meets the tests set forth in subsections (1) through (6) of RCW 51.08.195: PROVIDED, That a person is not a worker for the purpose of this title, with respect to his or her activities attendant to operating a truck which he or she owns, and which is leased to a common or contract carrier.

40. Our safety definition of an employee … • The term "employee" means an employee of an employer who is employed in the business of his employer whether by way of manual labor or otherwise and every person in this state who is engaged in the employment of or who is working under an independent contract the essence of which is his personal labor for an employer under this chapter whether by way of manual labor or otherwise

41. Our “wage and hour” definition of an employee … • 5) "Employee" includes any individual employed by an employer but shall not include:     (a) Any individual (i) employed as a hand harvest laborer and paid on a piece rate basis in an operation which has been, and is generally and customarily recognized as having been, paid on a piece rate basis in the region of employment; (ii) who commutes daily from his or her permanent residence to the farm on which he or she is employed; and (iii) who has been employed in agriculture less than thirteen weeks during the preceding calendar year;     (b) Any individual employed in casual labor in or about a private home, unless performed in the course of the employer's trade, business, or profession. • Twelve additional exceptions continue below …

42. Our new tool for explaining the “employee” law …

45. Time well spent • It took a year. • Collaboration between: • Attorneys • Staff • Five program managers • Stakeholders in building construction • We crafted a consensus definition, but usability testing showed customers still found it too complex. • Now a popular publication on its 3rd printing.

46. Plain Talk Writing Guidelines Using Plain Talk principles, the announcements, publications and other documents agencies send to the public will contain clear and concise instructions and information. Documents written in Plain Talk will include: • Clear language that is commonly used by the intended audience; • Only the information needed by the recipient, presented in a logical sequence; • Short sentences; • Sentences, written in active voice, that make it clear who is responsible for what; and • Layout and design that help the reader understand the meaning on the first try. This includes adequate white space, bulleted lists, helpful headings and other proven techniques. • Executive Order 05-03, Plain Talk, March 24, 2005

47. In other words … • Organize and break up the message • Use common, everyday words • Eliminate unnecessary words • Use an active style • Write to the reader • Design to make it easy to read and act on.

48. #1 Organize and break up the message • Put the main message on the top • Divide the rest into manageable blocks • Organize them in a logical order

49. Why break it up? • People scan for information before deciding what to read – and act upon. • Chunks of information that have headings show them: “Hey, this applies to me.” • People don’t act on the document right away. Make it easy to go back to the section they need.

50. Organize and break up the message (No dogs!) This is a message for all state employees who expect to be in town for the 4th of July weekend and would be interested in joining the Washington Hiker Club for a Saturday picnic and white water rafting experience on the Nisqually River, ending up at the Forest Beach camping area. The charge is a mere $10 for adults, though children will be charged half. (More information on this can be had by calling organizer Judy Brown at 943-0093.)Bring your wetsuit, water bottle and picnic lunch to the Crossroads parking lot at 9 a.m. That’s Sat., July 3. We’ll go until 6 p.m.