The Power of Positive Parenting

1. The Power of Positive Parenting Conducted by [Practitioner Name]

2. Today’s Agenda • Overview of Triple P • Being a parent • Five key principles of positive parenting • Take home messages • Question time

3. Overview of Triple P • Triple P = Positive Parenting Program • Developed in Australia • 30 years of research • Used in 22 countries • Local program sponsored by First 5 Santa Cruz County

4. Triple P Services • Seminars: General parenting information • The Power of Positive Parenting • Raising Confident, Competent Children • Raising Resilient Children • Workshops: Brief help with specific and common parenting issues • Groups: Brief (4 sessions) or In-depth (8 sessions) • One on One Consultations : Brief (1-4 sessions) or In-depth (10 sessions) • Additional Triple P Support

5. Our hopes and dreams • To raise healthy well-adjusted children who have the skills to: • communicate their needs • get on with others • try to do their best • manage their emotions • feel good about themselves • In a safe, secure, loving and low-conflict environment

6. Being a parent • Parenting can be: • rewarding • enjoyable • demanding • frustrating • exhausting • We all learn through trial and error • Every parent has to develop their own goals and approach to discipline

7. Employment opportunity One couple to raise a child. No experience necessary. Applicants must be available 24 hours per day, 7 days a week, and must provide food, shelter, clothing and supervision. No training provided. No salary - applicants pay $180,000 over the next 18 years. Accidental applications accepted. Single people may apply but shouldbe prepared for twice the work.

9. The good news Most parents: • are confident in their parenting (77%) • find parenting rewarding (86%) • find parenting fulfilling (89%)

10. Children’s behavior The tough part of parenting

11. The challenge • Some misbehavior is normal • Some discipline problems are inevitable • Managing everyday behavior problems can prevent more serious ones

12. Positive parenting • Promoting children’s development and managing their behavior and emotions in a positive way • Building strong relationships • Good communication • Emphasizing the positive • Planning ahead to prevent problems • Using everyday situations and creating opportunities to help children learn

13. Benefits for children • Develop skills • Do better at school • Build friendships • Feel good about themselves • Have fewer behavioral and emotional problems • Less likely to become involved in drug abuse or delinquent behavior

14. Benefits for parents • Feelings of confidence and competence in parenting • Less depression • Less stress • Less conflict with their partner • Less conflict with their children

15. Skills children need • Good communication and social skills • Ability to manage feelings • Independence skills • Problem solving skills

16. 5 core principles Creating a safe, interesting environment Having a positive learning environment Using assertive discipline Having realistic expectations Taking care of yourself

17. Principle 1 Creating a safe, interesting environment

18. Strategies • Develop predictable routines • Provide supervision • Have interesting things to do • Tips for safety: • Teach your child road safety rules • Provide safety equipment • Be safety conscious near schools • Teach your child about personalsafety

19. Benefits • Children: • feel secure and wanted • are safe • live in a predictable world • have lots of interesting things to do • have opportunities to learn • Parents: • can be more relaxed

20. Principle 2 Having a positive learning environment

21. Strategies • Spend time with your child • Speak nicely • Chat and listen often • Share your own experiences • Be affectionate • Use descriptive praise • Give your child attention • Use incidental teaching • Get involved in your child’s school

22. Promoting Positive Relationships Promoting Development Encouraging Desirable Behavior Teaching New Skills & Behaviors Managing Misbehavior

23. Promoting Positive Relationships Promoting Self-Control Encouraging Desirable Behavior Teaching New Skills & Behaviors Managing Misbehavior

24. Principle 3 Using assertive discipline

25. How discipline helps • Discipline helps children learn to: • accept necessary rules and limits • develop self-control • consider others • express their feelings in ways that respect the needs of others • take responsibility for their actions

26. When discipline works • Discipline works best when: • children live in a predictable world • children receive plenty of attention for good behavior • parents have reasonable expectations • parents use fair, predictable consequences consistently • parents support each other

27. Strategies • Prepare in advance • Arrange activities • Set some ground rules • Praise good behavior • Watch and supervise • Use planned ignoring for minor misbehavior • Use your voice effectively

28. Strategies • Use directed discussion for rule breaking • Give clear, calm instructions • start instructions • stop instructions • Take away a problem activity • Back up instructions with quiet time • Use time-out for serious misbehavior

29. Principle 4 Having realistic expectations

30. Strategies • Consider: • Your expectations of your child • What do I expect? • Is this rule necessary? • Can my child understand / do this? • What other parents expect • What your child’s school expects • Your expectations of yourself • Are my expectations reasonable?

31. Principle 5 Taking care of yourselfas a parent

32. Balancing work and family • Have realistic expectations of yourself • Reduce unnecessary commitments • Develop good transition time routines • Avoid conflict after work and prepare for the ‘second shift’ • Teach your child to be independent • Organize good, reliable child care

33. Unhelpful thoughts: He knew I was tired She did that on purpose to upset me He’s never going to learn She’s just bad Negative thinking • Helpful thoughts: • We were both tired • Maybe she’s bored when I’m on the phone • It will take time for him to learn • Her behavior is annoying

34. Changing how you think • Notice when you are feeling upset with your child • Identify what negative / unhelpful things you are saying to yourself about the situation, particularly why it is happening • Try to change negative thoughts to helpful, more rational thoughts

35. Working as a team • Talk with your partner and other caregivers about daily experiences with your child • Share the workload fairly • Reach agreement on discipline • Back each other up • Model problem solving skills • Hold regular problem solving discussions

36. Take home messages

37. Take home messages • Make your family a priority • Create a warm, loving, safe environment • Encourage your child’s learning • Use assertive discipline • Have reasonable expectations • Take care of yourself: • look after your own needs • balance work and family responsibilities • talk back to negative thinking • work as a team

38. Tip Sheet • Review it with your partner or by yourself. • Review it this week! • Choose one strategy you learned today to try at home.

39. Next Steps • Attend the next seminar [insert date] • Contact [insert name] for more services [insert info] • Contact First 5 Santa Cruz County for more services (831) 465-2217 or sbluford@first5scc.org or visit www.first5scc.org

40. Stay Connected • “Like” us on Facebook! • www.facebook.com/triplepscc

41. Question time

42. Positive Parenting… Small changes, Big differences