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Core Needs

Core Needs. Presentation by Geoffrey Roberts. Control, Freedom & Value. Introduction. Our need to feel that we: Are in control Have freedom Are valuable. There are many needs that all people have in common. In this session we are going to look at three of these needs. Needs & morals.

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Core Needs

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  1. Core Needs Presentation by Geoffrey Roberts Control, Freedom & Value

  2. Introduction Our need to feel that we: • Are in control • Have freedom • Are valuable There are many needs that all people have in common. In this session we are going to look at three of these needs.

  3. Needs & morals We are most happy when our needs get met in healthy ways. Our needs trump our morals.

  4. Meeting our needs If we can’t find a GOODwayto meet our needs we will acceptANYway to meet our needs.

  5. Core needs Control • Order • Safety • Comfort • Security • Consistency Freedom Value • Surprise • Excitement • Adventure • Spice of life • Risk • Important • Significant • Unique • Respect • Honour

  6. Being in control Helpful Ways Unhelpful Ways • Be confidence • Make ‘you’ a priority • Create plans and goals • Write down a budget • Dress well • Develop self discipline • Controlling others • Bullying people • Perfectionism • Fear of failure • Comfort eating, etc. • Anxiety

  7. Finding freedom Helpful Ways Unhelpful Ways • Adventure • Hobbies • Creativity • Meeting new people • Exciting outings • Spontaneity • Drugs • Getting drunk • Sleeping around • Wild partying • Reckless behaviour • Melodrama

  8. Being valuable Helpful Ways Unhelpful Ways • Take responsibility • Be the driver not the passenger in your life • Value yourself • Faith & spirituality • Honour • Boasting or lying • Co-dependency • Rebellion • Putting others down • Martyrdom • Attachment (me + ?)

  9. Justice They get punished Vengeance I dishonor them Dishonour of self I tell myself a story to justifythe dishonor (I deserved it, it doesn’t matter;they didn’t know any better) Forgiveness I have weighed the dishonor. I am allowed to feel angry and hurt. I can choose to forgive. I am in control and I am significant. Forgiveness creates an opportunityfor reconciliation. Honour

  10. ImportantQuestions • Does your need for control stop you from taking risks or trying new things? • What good strategies do you have that are working? • What strategies are you currently using that aren’t so good? • What new strategies could you use in your life? • Is there any person that you need to ‘honour’?

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