Managing Conflict • Finding common ground • Tools for people to settle their own disputes • Stepping in to make unilateral decisions
Exercise • Strategies • Point of the exercise
Possible Strategies • Bribery • Concern • Persuasion • Interest • Straightforwardness
Ultimately… • You can only empower yourself • You can encourage others to act
Be aware of yourself • Look at yourself • Resolve your conflict
Be Aware of Others “When are people most likely to do what you ask them to do, especially if it is something they are less than excited about?”
When the group finds you • Trustworthy • Reliable • Making decisions for the good of the group • Care about them
Listening to Learn • Active • Empathetic
CooperativeResolutions • INVOLVEMENT • INVOLVEMENT • INVOLVEMENT
The Most Important Question • What do you want?
Most Important Follow-Up Questions • What are you willing to do to get what you want? • Is what you are doing working? • Do you want to figure out another way?
Questions for Cooperative Conflict Resolution • What do you want? • What are you doing to get it? • Is it working? • Do you want to figure out another way?
Effective Communiction In Conflict Situations • What do you want? • What do you want? • What do you want? • What do you want?
Managing Your Emotions • Step away from emotional responses • Slow breathing • Step away -- give it space and time • Regain objectivity • Work on issues in present/future NOT PAST
Negotiating Limits and Rules • Know limits -- and respect them • Group determines limits
CooperativeApproach • Engage everyone on an equal basis • Help them come up with a solution on their own What do you want? What are you doing to get it? Is it working? Do you want to figure out another way?
ProscriptiveApproach If cooperation fails: - Proscriptive conflict resolution
Statements for Proscriptive Conflict Resolution • This is what I want. • This is what I understand you are doing. • This why that isn’t working for me. • Here is what I need you to do.
Stepping in… • Trust • Reliability • History of good decisions for the group • Caring Based on established…
Contract Between Leaders & Those Led My Job Is • To do all I can to ensure your safety Your Job Is • Top tell me when you don’t feel safe
Ideas Not Often Shared • If I’m doing something that bothers you, I’d like you to tell me in a respectful way. • How will it be if we really get along? What will that be like? • If I see you’re having a problem, what do you want me to do?