WELCOME TO REDEEMER’S LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE ( RLI ) TRAINING PROGRAM

2. WELCOME TO REDEEMER’S LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE (RLI) TRAINING PROGRAM You are here to learn to live.

3. RLI is an organization of THE REDEEMED CHRISTIAN OF CHURCH OF GOD NA; established to create an educational environment for developing leaders of influence and global impact for the 21st century.

4. CONTACT ADDRESSES: The Registrar 2860 E. 5th Avenue, Columbus Ohio 43219 Tel: 614 353 5028; Fax 614 252 7076 Email: registrar@redeemersleadershipinstitute.org Web: www.rlit.org

5. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT IN THE CHURCH

6. ABOUT RLI • RLI was the vision of Pastor James Fadele, RCCGNA Chairman, Board of Coordinators • Need: to develop effective spiritual leaders in RCCGNA • Qualities: Integrity & excellent spirit within the context of North America • RLI was incorporated in 2007 & started operation in 2008

7. ABOUT RLI • Training provided to 380 in 2008; 2678 in 2009 • RLI plans to extend its services beyond the shores of RCCGNA in the nearest future. • RLI has 9 Board Members: • Pastor James Fadele, Chairman/Board of Provincial Pastors, RCCGNA • Pastor TolaOdutola, RLI Chairman/Provincial Pastor

8. ABOUT RLI • Pastor Wale Akinosun • Pastor AbiodunBada (Ph.D) • Pastor NimiWariboko (Ph.D) • Pastor Enefaa Korubo • Pastor O.J. Kuye • Pastor Bola Idowu (Ph.D) • Pastor BimpeIshola - Registrar

9. RLI APPROVED COURSES • Leadership, Motivation and Team Building • Church Financial Planning, Management & Control • Personal Financial Planning, Management & Control. • Effective Church Administration

10. RLI APPROVED COURSES RLI approved courses: • Ministerial Ethics & Responsibilities • Leadership & Authority in the Church • Strategic Leadership & Systems Thinking • Legal Issues for Churches • More courses under development

11. OUR FOCUS . . . OUR PURPOSE • The primary purpose of RLI is to develop credible Christian leaderscapable of taking the church forward in the 21st century. • Our focus is leadership development.

12. COURSE OBJECTIVES • Develop an understanding of the nature of conflicts, • Develop a biblical understanding of Conflict, • Develop an understanding of each Conflict Management Style • Learn practical, biblically-acceptable methods for resolving conflict and • Adopt these methods as a basis for Conflict Management in the church.

13. LECTURE OUTLINE • Introduction • Basic Definitions • Course Objective Topics • Session 1 • Session 2 • Session 3 • Session 4 • Conclusion • Presentations: Group Photograph, Presentation of Certificate of Completion & Return of course evaluation forms

14. LECTURE TOPICS • What is conflict? • Occurrence of Conflict • Theology of Conflict • Causes of Conflict • Sources of Conflicts • Responses to Conflicts • Conflict Management Styles • Conflict Handling Mechanism • Litigation and Malpractice issues • Moot Court/Ground Rules • Principles of Forgiveness • Reconciliation • Tips for Preventing Conflicts • After Conflict Resolution • Conclusion

15. Christians Don’t Fight...Or Do They???

16. CONFLICT • Exists whenever people are in disagreement and opposition • Is inevitable • An organization’s success is based on how well it deals with conflicts • Is not necessarily a bad thing

17. DYSFUNCTIONAL VS. FUNCTIONAL CONFLICT • Dysfunctional conflict • Is when conflict prevents the achievement of organizational objectives • Functional conflict • Is when disagreement and opposition supports the achievement of organizational objectives

18. Competitive or opposing action of incompatibles : antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons) (WEBSTER). • A serious incompatibility between two or more opinions, principles, or interests (OED). • A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash (The Free Dictionary).

19. Conflict management: Any and all actions people use in dealing (or not dealing) with a conflict, including resolution. • Conflict resolution: A process leading to a recognized outcome of a conflict—a negotiated agreement or a unilaterally imposed solution.   • Conflict management styles: Default strategies for managing conflicts that people tend to employ across different situations.

20. Conflict handling styles: Adjudicatory strategies for managing conflicts that people tend to employ across different situations.

21. THE PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTRACT • Is the unwritten implicit expectations of each party in a relationship • Is broken for two primary reasons: • We fail to make explicit our own expectations and fail to inquire into the expectations of the other parties • We further assume that the other party(ies) have the same expectations that we hold

22. CONFLICT ALWAYS HURTS • Regardless of how quick we respond to or how well we resolve them, conflicts in interpersonal relationships always hurt in business, at church and in families. The ultimate price to pay for an ignored or poorly managed conflict in our churches, is in souls. Conflict in the church could drive someone away from not only our church, but also from the Lord.

23. THEOLOGY OF CONFLICT • Conflict began in the Garden of Eden when Eve had an internal conflict because of the Conversation with satan/serpent • Conflict between Adam, Eve and the Lord • Conflict between Adam, Eve and satan/serpent. • The end of Conflict – Rev 22:3

24. THEOLOGY OF CONFLICT • Conflict in the early Church due to: • Racism(Segregation/Integration) - Acts 10 - 11 • Church Membership - Acts 15:2-3 • Personalities – Acts 15: 36-41 • Loyalties – 1 Cor 1:10; 3:16-17 • Plans and Purposes of the Lord – Acts 10:9-18

25. THEOLOGY OF CONFLICT • Conflict in the early Church due to: • Methods, procedure – Acts 15:1-35 • Responsibility – Acts 6:1-7 • Resources – Acts 6:1-7 • Values and traditions – Acts 15: 1-35; 2 Sam 11 Hierachy/Positions

26. THEOLOGY OF CONFLICT • Jesus in Conflict • Cleansing the Temple – Matthew 21:12-16 • Jesus/John the Baptist • Jesus/Herod • Jesus/Caiaphas & Sanhedrin • Jesus/Pharisees • Jesus at the Synagogue – John 8: 3-11 • The Adulterous Woman – Luke 4: 28-30

27. CAUSES OF CONFLICTS Michael Holloway identified the origin of conflict as “unmet desires” • These desires may be bad in themselves • James 4:1-3 and Matthew 15:19 • The desires may be good • Keeping Promises

28. According to psychologists Art Bell and Brett Hart(2002), there are eight common causes of conflict in the workplace, namely: • Conflicting resources. • Conflicting styles. • Conflicting perceptions. • Conflicting goals. • Conflicting pressures. • Conflicting roles. • Different personal values. • Unpredictable policies.

29. EXERCISE 1:SOURCES OF CONFLICTS Conflict could arise in the church today due to:?????

30. CASE STUDY 1:SOURCES OF CONFLICTS 1 CORINTHIANS 1:9-13; 3:1-4; 4:6-8 • What were the actual conflicts in Corinth? • What were the root causes of their conflicts? • What other scriptures explain causes of conflict? • What are some personal traits that tend to stir up conflict? • How can we grow personally in this area?

31. RESPONSES TO CONFLICT • Three main categories of responses to conflict identified by Ken Sande are: • Attempting to escape the conflict -Peace Faking • Attempting to escalate the conflict -Peace Breaking • Attempting to resolve the conflict -Peace Making

32. ESCAPING 1. Deny the existence of conflict • Acting as if there is no conflict • Ignoring your role in creating or continuing a conflict • Pretending as if the conflict has been resolved 2. Flee the conflict • Ending a friendship • Quitting your job or assignment • Leaving your church

33. RESOLVING 1.Involving only those in the conflict • Overlooking an offense (not same as denying) • Reconciliation • Negotiation 2.Getting help from others • Mediation – Empowering through dialogue • Arbitration – Formal panel

34. ESCALATING 1. Verbal Escalation • Direct: put downs, yelling, obscenities • Indirect: gossip, slander 2. Extra-Verbal Escalation • Physical: slapping, hitting, fighting, murder • Getting others onto your side 3. Litigation

35. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLES Accommodating Conflict Style Passive Behavior You Win, I Lose Collaborating Conflict Style Assertive Behavior You Win, I Win High Concern for Others’ and Own Needs High Concern for Others’ Needs Negotiating Conflict Style Assertive Behavior You Win Some, I Win Some Low Concern for Others’ and Own Needs High Concern for Own Needs Avoiding Conflict Style Passive Behavior You Lose, I Lose Forcing Conflict Style Aggressive Behavior You Lose, I Win

36. AVOIDING CONFLICT STYLE • Attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it • Is unassertive and uncooperative • Creates a lose-lose situation 36

37. AVOIDING CONFLICT STYLE (cont.) • Advantages • May maintain relationships that conflict resolution could damage • Disadvantages • Conflicts do not get resolved • Internal conflict in individuals • Avoiders are walked all over • Appropriately used when: • The conflict is trivial • Your stake in the issue is not high • Relationships could be damaged • You don’t have time to resolve the conflict • Emotions are high 37

38. ACCOMMODATING CONFLICT STYLE • Attempts to resolve the conflict by passively giving in to the other party • Is unassertive but cooperative • Creates a win-lose situation 38

39. ACCOMMODATING CONFLICT STYLE (cont.) • Advantages • May maintain relationships that a conflict might damage by going along with the other party • Disadvantages • May be counterproductive • Accommodators are taken advantage of • Appropriately used when: • The person enjoys being a follower • Maintaining the relationship outweighs all other considerations • The changes agreed to are not important to the accommodator, but are to the other party • The time to resolve the conflict is limited 39

40. FORCING CONFLICT STYLE • Attempts to resolve the conflict by using aggressive behavior to get his or her own way • Is uncooperative and aggressive • Creates a win-lose situation 40

41. FORCING CONFLICT STYLE (cont.) • Advantages • Decisions may be better, if the enforcer is right • Disadvantages • Overuse leads to hostility and resentment toward its user • Forcers tend to have poor human relations • Appropriately used when: • Unpopular action must be taken on important issues • Commitment by others is not critical • Maintaining relationships is not critical • The conflict resolution is urgent 41

42. NEGOTIATING CONFLICT STYLE • Attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive, give-and-take concessions • Is moderately assertive and cooperative • Creates an “I win some, you win some” situation through compromise 42

43. NEGOTIATING CONFLICT STYLE (cont.) • Advantages • Resolved relatively quickly • Working relationships are maintained • Disadvantages • Can lead to counterproductive results • Can lead to suboptimum decisions • Overuse leads to high demands from the parties to use to bargain for more reasonable demands • Appropriately used when • The issues are complex and critical • There is no simple and clear solution • Parties have about equal power and want different solutions • A solution will be only temporary • Time is short 43

44. COLLABORATING CONFLICT STYLE • Attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties • Is assertive and cooperative • Creates a win-win situation 44

45. COLLABORATING CONFLICT STYLE (cont.) • Advantages • Tends to lead to the best solution • Disadvantages • The skill, effort, and time needed are usually greater and longer than the other styles • Appropriately used when: • Dealing with important issues requiring optimum solutions • Compromise will result in sub-optimization • People are willing to place the group goal before self-interest • Maintaining relationships is important • Time is available • It is a peer conflict 45

46. DEALING WITH CONFLICTS • Proactive • Prevention • Reactive • Resolution

47. RESOLVING

48. INITIATING CONFLICT RESOLUTION Step 1. Plan a BCF(Behavior, Consequences, Feelings) statement that maintains ownership of the problem. Step 2. Present your BCF statement and agree on the conflict. Step 3. Ask for, and/or give, alternative conflict resolutions. Step 4. Make an agreement for change. 48

49. RESPONDING TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the conflict using the BCFmodel. Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint. Step 3. Ask for, and/or give, alternative conflict resolutions. Step 4. Make an agreement for change. 49

50. CASE STUDY 2:HELPING TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT PHILIPPIANS 4:2-3 • How conflicts can be resolved in a godly way. • How would the phrase “work out your own salvation” apply to these two sisters in Philippians? • What is to be done when we are personally in a conflict? • What is the proper attitude to have about the conflict and the other person? • How do outside individuals help those in conflict? • When is it appropriate to help? • What scriptures provide guidelines for helping?