The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

1. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens What does each teen represent in the picture have in common???

2. ANSWER(S): • Each person in a picture has been judged by you based on your 1st impression(…is judgement, a habit?) • Each person in a picture has hopes, dreams and questions concerning life (… habits?) • Each person has some regret(s) (…is that a habit?) or events that they wish they could go back and change. • Each person represented here has something in common with YOU, their human, have emotions, feelings, intelligence, gifts, talents and are waiting for someone to understand them. (…habits?)

3. How do we as everyday people impact other people’s lives? • ??? • How do OUR ACTIONS impact our own lives??? • Have we formed opinions, feelings, emotions and perceptions based on past experiences??? • ARE THEY HABITS OF THE MIND???

4. Habit #1-Be Proactive • Take initiative-as human beings we are responsible for our lives, our behaviors and our decisions. NOT OUR CONDITIONS. • Choose to empower yourself. This does NOT mean being bossy toward someone else to get our point across. • Make a choice and don’t be afraid of “healthy-risk”.

5. Habit #1- continued… • Self Awareness- the ability to think and understand your thought process. • Evaluate and learn from yourself and others. • Affects: Attitudes =behaviors and views of our self and others • Map of basic human nature(self oriented)

6. Habit #1-continued • Social Mirror- How we believe others view us socially • 3 Social Maps (1) Genetic Determinism-Inherited (2) Psychic Determinism-Childhood experience (3) Environmental Determinism-environment influences or surrounds affect your personality.

7. Stimulus-Reaction Model Stimulus reaction • Any thing/event that causes a reaction. • i.e. car beeps its horn at a signal to make driver move when the light turns green. • Any thing that is effected by the stimulus. • i.e. Car driver flips “the bird” at driver behind him that just beeped his horn.

8. Stimulus-Response Model Stimulus response • Any thing that causes a reaction. • i.e. car beeps its horn at signal to make driver move when the light turns green. • Any thing that is effected by the stimulus. • i.e. Car driver chooses not to get involved with “apparent” impatient driver behind him that just beeped his horn.

9. What’s the difference? Reaction Response • Reacting based on first emotional response. • Reactive people are affected by their physical environment, way they were treated. • Reactive people react to their feelings, circumstances and etc. • We are responsible for our lives and behaviors. • We choose to be proactive as humans and look for options before reacting. • Empowerment by choice despite surroundings.

10. ProACTivity Take initiative Be acted upon • Perceptions • Language • Values • Creativity • Freedom • Perception limited • Defensive • Temporary values based on peer influence. • NONE-NO freedom!

11. Listen to our language: • The nature of reactive people revolves around them negating their responsibility. • Circumstances continuously indicate that they are the victim. • ….you almost feel when you speak to them, that they have “lost the war or cause” before they even stepped on the battlefield!?! Perception dictates Language… Language discloses…. self identity! And… beliefs & values

12. LISTEN TO OUR LANGUAGE REACTIVE language Proactive language • There’s nothing I can do! • That’s just the way I am! • He/She makes me so upset or mad! • I have to do it! • I can’t! • You can’t make me! • If only…! • They won’t allow that! • Let’s look at our alternatives …again. • I can choose a different approach. • I control my feelings, behaviors and actions. • I can create a positive end, even in this crisis. • I choose. • I prefer. • I will. • I am effective in this….(state what your positives may be)

13. DIRECT, INDIRECT & NO CONTROL! Direct Control-involves our own behavior Indirect Control-involves others behavior No Control-We can do nothing about. (i.e.-our past, people’s opinions??…Can you think of any others!)

14. Paradigm • What is it??? • Paradigm comes from the Greeks. It is a scientific term based on the idea of perception. • General meaning: theory, assumption, or frame of reference. • Let’s see how it works???

15. What do you see?

16. Did you see an OLD WOMAN OR YOUNG WOMAN? • You can look at something from one angle and have a view, then if you go and look from another , you would probably find a very different view. • It would be best of course when we can see both sides, integrate them then see what the real picture really looks like. Because there is a TRUE image, or lets say it in a better way... a view that would hit closer to the truth of things. But to see it, we have to see all views first.

17. WHAT DO YOU SEE??Hint…Baby lake

18. WHAT DO YOU SEE??

20. Discussion Quote: The Second Half Of A Man's Life Is Made Up Of Nothing But The Habits He Has Acquired During The First Half.  ~Feodor Dostoevski

21. Viktor Emil Frankl • m.d., ph.d. (march 26, 1905 – september 2, 1997) was an austrianneurologist and psychiatrist as well as a holocaustsurvivor. Viktor Emil Frankl

22. Viktor Emil Frankl • "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible." Man's Search for Meaning, p.172 QUESTIONS: What does this quote tell us about V. Frankl? Why does Covey use V. Frankl as an example of paradigm shift? Read the following statement and address why V. Frankl was being proACTive? He believed that by fully experiencing the suffering objectively, he would thereby end it.[3] Though assigned to ordinary labor details until the last few weeks of the war, Frankl (assisted by Dr. Leo Baeck and Regina Jonas among others) tried to cure fellow prisoners from despondency and prevent suicide.

23. Habit #2 Begin With the End in Mind

24. Habit #2 Begin With the End in Mind… 1. Where do you want to end up in life? (5 yrs, 10 yrs) 2. List 10 of your values and discuss why their important. 3. List 10 goals and what you believe they stand for? (i.e. President= power, status, Teacher=wisdom, nurture, management and etc.) 4. When do you find yourself wandering or wasting time? 5. If you were to reflect on your past when have you been tossed to and fro by the opinions of others? Please answer the 5 questions by Friday, October 8

25. HABIT #2 • Begin With the End in Mind • For this principle of beginning with the end in mind to be practical, • we have to understand that all things are created twice. That is, first it is created in the mind, then physically. THOUGHT: WHAT WILL YOU DO TO PREPARE FOR THE NEXT DAY OF SCHOOL? DIRECTIONS: Write down each step you will take to prepare for school. You will need to begin possibly begin the night before. Please include up to the MOMENT YOU STEP INTO THE SCHOOL OR HIT THE SCHOOL GROUNDS.

26. Habit 3: Put First Things First A prioritized approach to time management. • Once a week, make time to identify the “Big Rocks.” • “Big Rocks” are the things that must get done this week. • When are you going to plan? On Beartracker p. H-7: • Set a time each day to plan. It will only take a few minutes. • Think of “Big Rocks” in terms of important roles. • Student, Family Member, Human Being, Significant Other, Worker, Member of a Team, Performer, Friend, etc. • These are your “First Things.” Write these roles down. NOW! • Plan for your “Big Rocks” each day; the rest are just “Little Pebbles” you can then fit into your schedule!

27. Creating a Mission Statement A personal mission statement is like a credo or motto that states what your life is about. It’s like a blueprint to your life.” • Sean Covey, Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, Page 81 • Example: Consider Mr. Pop’s Mission Statement. • Homework: Create your own Mission Statement! • How do you do it? Here are some suggestions: • Freewriting: Write whatever comes to mind, then edit it down. • Quotations: Find some that matter to you. Summarize them. • Acronyms: Make an acronym for a word that really matters. • Stealing: “Borrow” someone else’s. “Be all you can be.” :-{) • Write your Mission Statement on this index card.

28. Habit 4: Think Win-Win Have an everyone-can-win attitude. • Definition: • Thinking win-win means being creative and finding ways for BOTH you and the other party to succeed when trying to resolve a conflict. • Where to you tend to fall when trying to resolve conflict?

30. Habit 4: Think Win-Win Abundance: life is an all-you-can-eat buffet. • Thinking “win-win” means doing two things: • Win the private victory first– begin by checking yourself. • Avoid the “tumor twins”– two things that will hinder you: • Competing– when it is not appropriate, it will actually harm you • Comparing– when you define yourself relative to others, you lose • Imagine a conflict with someone you’ve had recently. How could you have resolved it “win-win” (H-9)?

31. Habit 5: Seek First to Understand And only then to be understood. • Definition: • Seeking first to understand means listening: try to see things from another’s point of view before you start sharing your own. • Who do you want to listen to you? On page H-11: • List the people you would like to really understand you. • The point? WE ALL WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD! • BUT… we must have a positive RBA before we share. • Seeking first to understand helps us build a positive RBA

32. Habit 5: Seek First to Understand Listen to people sincerely. • Three Good Listening Skills • Stand in the other person’s shoes– at least try to understand • Listen with your eyes and your heart, not just with your ears • 60% of communication is body language– use your eyes • 30% of communication is tone of voice– use your heart • Only 10% of communication is the actual words used • Practice mirroring– repeat what the other person thinks or feels

33. Habit 6: Synergize Work together to achieve more. • Definition: • Synergy means that the sum is greater that its individual parts. In other words, synergizing is proving that 1 + 1 can = 3. How? • Start with understanding that we are all UNIQUE: • What makes you unique? Answer on Beartracker H-13. • Synergy is celebrating difference, NOT just tolerating it. • Synergy is working as a team, NOT just an individual. • Synergy is finding new a better ways, NOT settling. • Synergy is applying the 5 steps on Beartracker H-13!

34. Habit 7: Sharpen the saw • Are you ready to take a journey? • It’s only the rest of your life! • Let’s start today with • The Great discovery

35. Habit 7: Sharpen the saw • Definition: • Sharpening the saw means taking the time to stay at your best. • What do you most need to do to “sharpen your saw?” • Think, then answer the question on Beartracker page H-15. • What can you do to keep your body healthy? (H-14,15) • What can you do to keep your mind healthy? (H-14, 15) • What can you do to keep your “heart” healthy? (H-14, 15) • What can you do to keep your “spirit” healthy? (H-14, 15) • Will you “decide” (etymology) to do all of these things?

36. Final thoughts • “You can’t make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time?” • - Bob Moawad