June 27, 2011 • Course Administration • Behavioral Interview Questions • Industry Groups • Conflict Management • Break • Thomas Kilman • Group Exercises
Most job-hunters who fail to master the job-hunt or find their dream job, fail not because they lack information about the job market, but because they lack information about themselves. -Richard Nelson Bolles
Weekly Book Recommendation “The question isn’t whether you’ve been looking hard enough for the answer to difficult conversations, it’s whether you’ve been looking in the right places. At heart, the problem isn’t in your actions, it’s in your thinking. So long as you focus only on what to do differently in difficult conversations, you will fail to break new ground”. p. xx. Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (1999). Difficult Conversations: How to discuss what matters most. New York: Penguin Group.
WEEKLY BOOK RECOMMENDATION “When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves and others) out into the open. That’s it. At the core of every successful conversation lies the free flow of relevant information”. Dialogue- The free flow of meaning between two or more people Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when the stakes are high. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Current Event Self Awareness or Denial?
Conflict. Is it a good or bad thing?
Conflict…… Turn to your neighbor and answer these 2 questions: How do you handle it? How do others think you handle it?
Conflict Any situation in which incompatible goals, attitudes, emotions, or behaviors lead to disagreement or opposition between two or more parties.
Functional: A healthy constructive disagreement between two or more people. -innovation -realness -solving problems -closeness -positive change Dysfunctional: An unhealthy, destructive disagreement between two or more people. -wastes resources -diverts energy from work -creates negative climate -breaks down group cohesion -increase hostility & aggressive Functional vs Dysfunctional Conflict
Interpersonal Conflict Conflict which occurs between two or more people, it is known as interpersonal conflict.
Organizational Impact • Interpersonal Conflict- 2 or more people • Intrapersonal Conflict – within a person • Intragroup Conflict – within groups or teams • Intergroup Conflict – between groups/teams in an organizations.
Defense Mechanisms used in conflict situations • Fixation – An aggressive mechanism in which an individual keeps up a dysfunctional behavior that obviously will not solve the conflict. • Displacement – An aggressive mechanism in which an individual directs his or her anger toward someone who is not the source of the conflict.
Defense Mechanisms con’t • Rationalization – Person justifies inconsistent or undesirable behavior, beliefs, statements, and motivations by providing acceptable explanations for them. • Flight or withdrawal – Through either physical means a person leaves the field in which frustration, anxiety or conflict is experienced.
What’s Your Style? Can you guess?
Thomas Kilman Instrument • Your score can change • Doesn’t measure skill • A gap of 5 or 6 will take you awhile to get to the next influence strategy • The higher your score the more you will use that style. • Higher my courage- higher my assertiveness • Higher my cooperativeness, the higher my consideration of others.
5 CONFLICT – HANDLING MODES High form of Win-Win Win - Lose Low form of Win - Win Lose-Lose Lose - Win
Conflict – Handling Modes • AVOIDING • ACCOMODATING • COMPETING • COMPROMISING • COLLABORATING
Conflict Management Styles • Avoiding-low on both assertiveness and cooperativeness. Avoiding is a deliberate decision to take no action on a conflict or to stay out of a conflict situation. • Accommodating – you are concerned that the other party’s goals be met but relatively unconcerned with getting your own way. • Competing- style that is very assertive and uncooperative. You want to satisfy your own interests and are willing to do so at the other party’s expense. • Compromising-style that is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness, because each party must give up something to reach a solution to the conflict. • Collaborating-A win-win style that is high on both assertiveness and cooperativeness.
What are the benefits of each style? • Competing • Collaborating • Compromising • Avoiding • Accommodating
What are the costs of each style? • Competing • Collaborating • Compromising • Avoiding • Accomodating
EXERCISE:Please Get in your industry groups Do you think you are good at handling conflict? Why or why not? Share your primary style and your back up style Name one behavior you demonstrate with your particular style. Share how aware you are of your style(s). Are you aware when you are in “intra-conflict”? Share an example.