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Effective Responding. 13 th February 2019 Laycock Primary School. Sophia Seltzer- Eade Clinical Psychologist. What do you remember from the previous session ? Where did this take you in your thinking ? Have you done anything differently since?. Revisiting Attunement Training ….
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Effective Responding 13th February 2019 Laycock Primary School Sophia Seltzer-Eade Clinical Psychologist
What do you remember from the previous session? Where did this take you in your thinking? Have you done anything differently since? Revisiting Attunement Training… Where is my energy at? About to blow – can’t think at all Unsettled/ distracted Calm/ focused/ ready to learn (Just Right) Cool and switched off
On the paper provided… Describe a time when your response to a challenging situation was not effective What was the situation? How did you respond? How did the child respond? What feelings did this bring up for you? Exercise
Predictable challenges There will be a number of predictable challenges when working with trauma impacted students • Get ahead of the problem • Plan how you will keep yourselfregulated • Plan how you will keep the child/ren regulated RESPONDING NOT REACTING
What are the times of day/term/year that are likely to lead to increased stress or heightened emotions? What could be done to reduce the impact of this and to ‘get ahead’ of the problem? discussion
Safe, contained, consistent response is key The child needs to know that they will get the same response from all members of staff 2 hands approach – empathy/understanding & boundaries/containment Creating predictability in school
What this may look like in the classroom • Clear boundaries • Calm and predictable transitions e.g. visual timetables, reminders & mark transitions • Designate spaces for specific activities • Model and catch appropriate behaviour – praise publically & criticise privately • Establish classroom rituals – morning handshake, afternoon goodbye, sharing compliments
Provide a rationale Throwing pens at people can hurt them. Link the consequence to the behaviour not the child I care about you. I don’t think you wanted to hurt anyone but throwing is not ok. State the boundaries of the limit You can have a 5 minute time out to calm down or I will hold onto your pen until after lunch. Move on after the consequence has been given Welcome child back into class / re-engage with them positively Make necessary adaptations Minimisethe triggering impact of limit setting
In Pairs … What rituals do you have in your classroom or area of the school you know well (e.g. lunch hall, playground, reception area)? Exercise - WORKSHEET
Importance of boundaries Link to classroom rules and what is developmentally appropriate for the child You can still validate the child’s emotional response without accepting the behaviour – both/and approach E.g. We want to support you to feel safe and ready to learn so we need to practice and find other ways to let people know when you are upset or want them to do something differently. Responding to a child who is dysregulated
To support a child in reducing the emotional intensity of the situation My job is to keep you and the rest of the class safe. I can’t allow X because it is not safe. (When child is dysregulated) - You are safe and I am here to help you. Safety To use calm language and other communication techniques to diffuse, re-direct or de-escalate a conflict situation Kerr & Nelson (2010)
I care about you and I want to help you do the best you can. I want you in my class. I want you back learning with us as soon as possible You are in important member of our class. Connection
Use the child’s name frequently. Remember things about them. Ask them to tell you something about them, how they are doing or what they have been doing as part of the check in/register at the start of class. Remember and mark birthdays. Identity
Don’t get too close / in child’s space – their survival brain may lash out. Keep language to a minimum – don’t lecture or list threats/consequences. Don’t ask for an explanation. Instead say “We are going to have to talk about how you spoke to X, but right now you need to take a moment to calm down” Don’t argue/debate with the child – remind them that you will talk once they have calmed down. Do what you need to keep yourself calm. Less is more
Losing your temper Sarcasm Lecturing the child or making threats Talking to the child in front of their peers Trying to embarrass them, shame them or put them down Letting things go on way too long Getting into battles over eye contact (they may have had terrifying experiences of being looked at by another) ‘One size fits all’ or ‘zero tolerance’ policies Using negative body language Blaming them or yourself – it is their trauma history driving the behaviour Bringing up the past RESPONDING TRAPS
Creates space for child to regulate first Maintains high expectations Establishes clear rules and predictable consequences Recognises deviation from rules as learning opportunities Focuses on repair within relationships Allows for differentiation based on individual need A differentiated response to behavior management
Be a detective – notice subtle signs re change in mood Ensure child’s safety Model calm approach Help child to feel safe using your body language Stand side on at eye level or lower Don’t demand eye contact Talk slowly and calmly Don’t use complex sentences Don’t use lots of body movements Don’t touch Remind the child who you are, what your role is and that you are someone whose job it is to keep them safe Acknowledge feelings Give child choices where possible Remind them of previous good behaviour First help child to regulate
If the child wants to leave and it is safe to do so – let them. Don’t crowd them. Don’t demand from them, don’t give complicated directions (they cannot process them). Give child space I am going to walk away and give you chance to think about what happened. I know when I come back we can have polite and productive talk Offer calm down space / time out (non-punitive) / time in Expect push back/rejection of efforts to help in that moment. Don’t be distracted by reacting to these secondary behaviours. Focus on the primary goal of getting the child regulated, safe and ready to return to learning. De-escalating
Engage the child in simple tasks E.g. Ask what lessons they had that morning? Who else is in their class? Change the subject by asking for their help I can tell you aren’t ready to go back to class yet, but I wondered if you are feeling calm enough to help me by…..? Regulate – Relate – Reason We are going to keep working on keeping calm when you feel frustrated. I know it feels really hard now but the more we practice, the easier it will get. Once child begins to calm down…
EXERCISE- have a go! Get into groups of 3’s (1 teacher, 1 adult, 1 observer) think back to that challenging situation and have a go at acting it out. Try to draw on some of the techniques we have just discussed…
“We all make mistakes, but what matters is how we go back and fix them” R Christian Relationships can be repaired
A repair or reparation conversation should be short, private and should be done by the adult involved in the incident The focus should be on the repair not on getting a ‘confession’ What happened? What were you thinking at the time? What have you thought since? How did this make you/others feel? Who has been affected? How have they been affected How should we put things right? How do we do things different next time? Restorative Conversations
The ARC framework Competency: Third, we help them develop reasoning skills and the capacity to make sense of their lives. Regulation: Second, we help them to understand and regulate their emotions. Attachment: First, we support children to feel safe and secure with us.
