1. Stealing Carol Anne Duffy

2. The most unusual thing I ever stole? A snowman.

3. Midnight. He looked magnificent; a tall, white mute

4. beneath the winter moon. I wanted him, a mate

5. with a mind as cold as the slice of ice

6. within my own brain. I started with the head.

7. Better off dead than giving in, not taking

8. what you want. He weighed a ton; his torso,

9. frozen stiff, hugged to my chest, a fierce chill

10. piercing my gut. Part of the thrill was knowing

11. that children would cry in the morning. Life’s tough.

12. Sometimes I steal things I don’t need. I joy-ride cars

13. to nowhere, break into houses just to have a look.

14. I’m a mucky ghost, leave a mess, maybe pinch a camera.

15. I watch my gloved hand twisting the doorknob.

16. A stranger’s bedroom. Mirrors. I sigh like this – Aah.

17. It took some time. Reassembled in the yard,

18. he didn’t look the same. I took a run

19. and booted him. Again. Again. My breath ripped out

20. in rags. It seems daft now. Then I was standing

21. alone amongst lumps of snow, sick of the world.

22. Boredom. Mostly I’m so bored I could eat myself.

23. One time, I stole a guitar and thought I might

24. learn to play. I nicked a bust of Shakespeare once

25. flogged it, but the snowman was strangest.

26. You don’t understand a word I’m saying, do you?