www.nobullying.ca

1. www.nobullying.ca

2. Bullying Prevention & Intervention

3. Training Agenda Recognizing Bullying • Bullying myths and facts • Defining and Identifying Bullying • Forms of Bullying • Gender and Bullying • Identifying the children and youth at greatest risk Understanding Aggressive Children & Youth • The recipe for violence • Protective factors for children and youth Strategies for Responding to/and Preventing Bullying • Strategies for intervening with bullies • Working with targets of bullies • Developing bullying-free communities

4. Bullying Myths and Facts • Myth: Bullying is just a stage, a normal part of life. I went through it, my kids will too. • Fact: Bullying is not “normal” or socially acceptable behaviour. We give bullies power by our acceptance of this behaviour. • Myth: If I tell someone, it will just make it worse. • Fact: Research shows that bullying will stop when adults in authority and/or peers get involved.

5. Bullying Myths and Facts • Myth: “Just stand up for yourself and hit them back” • Fact: While there are some times that people can be forced to defend themselves, hitting back usually makes the bullying worse and increases the risk for serious bodily harm. • Myth: “Bullying is a school problem, the teachers should handle it”. • Fact: Bullying is a broader social problem that often occurs outside of school grounds, on the street, at shopping centers, the local pool, summer camp and the workplace.

6. Bullying Myths and Facts • Myth: “People are born bullies”. • Fact: Bullying is a learned behaviour and behaviours can be changed.

7. Recognizing Bullying Signs of Bullying: • An imbalance of power • The bully intends to harm his or her target • There is a threat of further aggression

8. What is Common in Every Bully? Absolute Contempt for the Victim – he or she isn’t worthy of respect, not even considered human Absolute hatred and disgust.

9. Forms of Bullying Direct and Indirect Bullying: • Physical bullying • Verbal Bullying • Relational Bullying • Gang or group-related bullying • Sexual bullying/harassment

10. Social Aggression Interpersonal damage achieved by non-confrontational and largely concealed methods that employ the social community: • Gossiping • Social exclusion, isolation and alienation • Writing notes about someone • Talking about someone behind his/her back • Stealing friends/romantic partners • Triangulation of friendship • Telling secrets/betrayal of trust

11. Physical Aggression Physical acts that are hostile and anger-charged: Fighting Hitting Pushing Kicking Throwing chairs

12. What is Cyberbullying? • The Internet has created a whole new world of social communication for young people who are using e-mail, Web sites, instant messaging chat rooms and text messaging to stay in touch with friends and make new ones. • While most interactions are positive, increasingly kids are using these communication tools to antagonize and intimidate others. This has become known as “Cyberbullying”. • The anonymity of online communications means kids feel freer to do things online they would never do in the real world.

13. What is Cyberbullying? • There are several ways that young people bully online. They send e-mails or instant messages containing insults or threats directly to a person. • They may spread hateful comments about a person through e-mails, instant messaging or postings on Web sites and online diaries. Young people steal passwords and send out threatening e-mails or instant messages using an assumed identity. • Built-in digital cameras are adding a new dimension to the problem with people now able to take embarrassing pictures and forward them through e-mails.

14. Cyberbullying & The Law • Young people should be aware that some forms of online bullying are against the law. Under the Criminal Code of Canada, it is a crime to communicate with someone repeatedly if your communication causes them to fear for their safety or the safety of others. • It is also a crime to publish a “defamatory libel” – writing something that is designed to insult a person or likely to injure a person’s reputation by exposing him or her to hatred, contempt or ridicule. • A cyberbully may also be violating the Canadian Human Rights Act, if he or she spreads hate or discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, age, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family status or disability.

15. Cyberbullying Tips Guard your contact information. Don’t give people you don’t know your cell phone number, instant messaging name or e-mail address or passwords. If you are being harassed online, take the following actions immediately: • tell an adult you trust – a teacher, a parent, older sibling or grandparent • If you are being harassed, leave the area or stop the activity (i,.e. chat room, news group, online gaming area, instant messaging, etc…) • If you are being bullied through e-mail or instant messaging, block the senders messages. Never reply to harassing messages.

16. Cyberbullying Tips • Save any harassing messages and forward them to your Internet Service Provider. Most ISP providers have policies that restrict users from harassing others over the Internet. • If the bully includes physical threats, tell the Police as well. Take a stand against cyberbullying with your peers. Speak out whenever you see someone being mean to another person online. Most persons respond better to criticism from their peers than to disapproval from adults.

17. Identifying the Children at Greatest Risk • Is the bullying SEVERE? • Is the Bullying FREQUENT? • Is the bullying PERVASIVE? • Is the bullying CHRONIC?

18. Creating Violent Individuals RECIPE FOR VIOLENCE: • Sense of shame • Lack of inhibiting factors • No way to offset sense of shame

19. Summary to Early Pathway to Aggression • High risk intrauterine environment • Difficult temperament, poor attachment relationship • Parental rejection, neglect, coercive disciplinary cycles, abuse, exposure to violence • Social incompetence, peer rejection, academic difficulties • Bullying affiliation with high-risk peer group, risk-taking, preoccupation with violent media, dating violence • Inadequate parenting in adolescence, coercive parent-adolescent conflict • Exposure to high-risk family and neighbourhood environment • Involvement with the justice system and related agencies

20. Protective Factors • Positive peer relationship • Positive relationship(s) with adult(s) • Consistent and positive relationship with family • Sense of belonging in the community • Experiences of success in school and/or community • Well-developed emotional and social competencies • Positive outlook and hope for the future • Adequate language and cognitive skills

21. Replacing Shame with Pride • Challenge and work to change systemic violence such as racism, poverty, and other forms of aggression • Work to provide support, caring and consistency in the family, community and at school • Help children and youth to better recognize, understand and challenge messages of shame and violence • Provide meaningful opportunities for children to experience pride and success • Be the right adult • Provide a safe environment for children and youth to take responsibility for their actions

22. Tips for Intervening with Bullies: • Be an effective role model • Teach children and youth to recognize emotions in their selves and others • Work with children to develop empathy: - When watching movies/reading books, have children put themselves in various characters’ “shoes” - Provide opportunities for children and youth to role- play various characters in an imaginary bullying scenarios - Make children aware of the potentially devastating and sometimes tragic consequences of bullying for its victims - Help children to become aware of their own criteria for excluding others and challenge thinking errors and beliefs that allow for the dehumanization of others

23. Tips… • Teach children and youth to recognize the signs of bullying • Have Police and other community partners speak to children and youth about bullying • Help youth to identify allies in the community and promote the development of the individual’s sense of belonging • Provide opportunities for children to engage and lead in their community • Have conversations about power and the distinction between power that is based on fear and that is based on respect • Help children to improve language and communication skills, including assertiveness skills (teach them to stand up for themselves but by respecting the other person)

24. Tips… • Teach and model effective problem solving skills: focus on identifying the problem, brainstorming solutions, identifying pros and cons of each solution, selecting a solution, and assessing the effectiveness of a chosen solution • Model and teach appropriate social skills • Provide clear, logical and consistent consequences for bullying behaviour. “BULLYING SHOULD NEVER BE TOLERATED OR IGNORED” • Consequences must include “formative” activities that can help the bully to learn from and make amends for his/her actions. These might include: - writing a letter of apology to the victim(s) - participating in a restorative justice initiative - speaking to younger children and youth about experiences as a bully and how to prevent bullying - write a letter to his/her parents explaining their behaviour and then have the parents come in to speak about how to deal with this behaviour

25. Supporting and Working with the Victim:Being the Right Adult • Give the message that he/she is believed and supported through both your words and actions • Keep a record of bullying experiences • Work with the target to brainstorm, select and act upon solutions. Wherever possible, allow the victim to lead the process of finding solutions • Work with the target to develop safety plans for home, school and the community • Work to develop support networks for the target

26. More Tips… • Provide meaningful opportunities for the target to experience success and social recognition • Teach all children and youth communication and conflict management skills • Teach and model effective problem solving skills • Help children and youth to develop “allies” who can help at home, school or in the community • Give all children and youth the message that they have the right to be treated with dignity and respect

27. More Tips… • Have the Police and other service providers speak to your clients/students about what they can to help stop bullying • Make all children and youth aware of the services that exist to provide support in crisis situations (e.g.Kids Helpline 1-800-668-6868) • Make sure that your children/youth know that there is safety in numbers and that violence thrives when victims are isolated • Teach children and youth to identify bullying

28. More Tips… • Provide opportunities for all children and youth to make connections with others in the community and to make their own meaningful contributions • Provide models of individuals who have overcome victimization by appropriately sharing your own experiences and others’ stories or success (Martin Luther King, Ghandi, etc…) • Help your clients/students to understand why bullies become bullies so that they can understand that bullying is not their fault • Develop protocols for working with Police and external agencies

29. Transforming Bystander Culture • Be a mentor and role model • Implement a program that recognizes and rewards children and youth who help prevent bullying • Cultivate a culture of peace by providing youth with models of effective peacemakers • Ensure that there is adequate supervision and structure for all children and youth at home, school and in the community

30. Transforming Bystander Culture • Develop an on-going assessment of the bullying problem in your program, agency, school, and/or community. Ensure that children and youth have the opportunity to provide input into the assessment process. This might include: - Talking to your children about youth and bullying. Find out about the realities of bullying for them - Conducting a safety audit of the physical space. Where is bullying occurring? What can be done to improve safety in these locations (use C.P.T.E.D. concepts) - Establishing a problem/suggestion box in which children and youth can anonymously report bullying situations and provide suggestions for addressing the problem

31. Transforming Bystander Culture • Make the development of media literacy an ongoing and integral part of your program. Become familiar with the media influences in your children’s lives and provide all young people with the skills and insights necessary to think critically about media messages • Model the behaviour and attitudes that you want to encourage • Provide opportunities for children and youth to speak openly with you about their concerns, fears, successes and challenges • Work to help all children and youth to develop community support networks, social skills, and the communication competencies necessary to experience belonging

32. Transforming Bystander Culture • Work with children and youth to develop a prevention initiative, such as a poster campaign, regular newspaper column for youth, and/or a bullying prevention video

35. What Can the Police Do? In most cases, bullying is a crime. Police can lay charges and some of those may include: • Assault – Section 266 C.C. • Sexual Assault – Section 271 C.C. • Threatening – Section 264 C.C. • Criminal Harassment – Section 264.1 C.C. • Theft - Section 334 C.C. • Intimidation – Section 423(1) C.C. • Extortion – Section 346(1) C.C. • Robbery – Section 344 C.C.

36. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has” -- Margaret Mead

37. What a Safe School should be? A place where you can assure the healthy development of every child so that each has the knowledge, skills and resiliency to be successful in a rapidly changing world.

38. Questions?

39. "This project is partially funded through the Government of Canada's National Crime Prevention Strategy."« Ce projet est financé en partie par la Stratégie nationale pour la prévention du crime du gouvernement du Canada »

42. Community Partners Thistle Chapter IODE - Fergus Fergus ComputersFergus Elora RotaryVic Kelly & Associates

43. Presented by: Keith Robb - Media Relations Officer County of Wellington O.P.P. 1-888-216-5609

44. THANK YOU