A Child’s Ten Commandments to Parents by Dr. Kevin Leman

1. A Child’s Ten Commandments to Parents by Dr. Kevin Leman 1.  My hands are small; please don’t expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture, or throw a ball.  My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you. 2.  My eyes have not seen the world as your have; please let me explore safely: don’t restrict me unnecessarily. 3. Housework will always be there.  I’m only little for a short time-please take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world, and do so willingly. 4.  My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to me needs; don’t nag me all day long. (You wouldn’t want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness.) Treat me as you would want to be treated. 5.  I am a special gift from God; please treasure me as God intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by, and disciplining me in a loving manner.

2. 6.  I need your encouragement, but not your praise, to grow.  Please go easy on the criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me. 7.  Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself.  Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes.  Then someday I’ll be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires of me.  8  Please don’t do things over for me.  Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn’t quite measure up to your expectations.  I know it’s hard, but please don’t try to compare me with my brother or sister. 9.  Please don’t be afraid to leave for a weekend together.  Kids needs vacations from their parents, just as parents need vacations from kids.  Besides, it’s a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special. 10.  Please take me to Sunday school and church regularly, setting a good example for me to follow.  I enjoy learning more about God

3. Love and Logic Teaching A guide to a stress-free Early Childhood Classroom

4. Step 1: Go Brain Dead!! Avoid engaging in power struggles with children. Tips for avoiding power struggles: • Set a limit with a child and then follow through • Your words can be as good as gold, or as good as mud! • Say it once, and never remind them • Use phrases like “I know….what did I say” to cut off excuses • Use the “Uh-Oh” song • Remember “If children were meant to run the class, they would be born larger.”

5. Role playing practice Scenario #1: Child is arguing about nap time Scenario #2: Child is playing at the table during meal time Scenario #3: Child is resisting transition time in the classroom

6. Choices and Consequences Provide children in your class with a variety of choices throughout the day “Do you want to paint with read or blue?” “Do you want to clean up now or in 5 minutes?” “Would you like to have free play outside or inside?” “Would you like to read by yourself or read with a friend?” Give child 10 seconds to choose and then choose for them Providing choices gives the children some control of their day and increases compliance when the choice is not theirs. Allow children to experience consequences Small failures now can avoid bigger, more detrimental failures later when the stakes are higher Experiencing failure helps children learn Experiencing success gives children the confidence they need to develop Remember, your job as a teacher is to teach children to be independent and learn to solve problems and think for themselves!

7. Role Playing Practice Make a list of choices you would be willing to give the children in your classroom everyday Make a list of tasks that are not choices for the children in your classroom. Which of these non-choice items can you make seem like choices? Choose your battles When you can’t think of a consequence, delay the consequence.

8. Consequences with empathy The key to providing consequences with success is using empathy with children. Reasons to deliver consequences with empathy….. Takes the blame off of the teacher and places it back where it belongs – on the child Nobody likes to see children sad or disappointed, but empathy helps soften the consequence Child becomes angry with themselves, not with the teacher Child can reflect on the choice that was made and how to change it Gives children opportunity to learn how to think for themselves How to deliver consequences with empathy: Using phrases like “That’s sad” and “Bummer” Find a phrase that works for you Hug the child and get on their eye level Use phrase “I know, what did I say” to avoid child engaging you

9. Role Playing practice A child in your class has drawn on your table. He knows that this is against your class rules. You sing the Uh-Oh song and he gets to spend some time by himself. The next day, he asks to color at the table. You tell him that you are too tired from staying late at work cleaning the marks off the table last night to color with him, so he wont get to color today. Of course, the child begins to have a meltdown. Practice delivering and reinforcing this consequence with empathy.

10. Love and Logic Teaching Remember, teaching does not have to be stressful. If any of these techniques work for you, try them, tweek them, make them your own! Most important, take the struggle out of your day-to-day routines and ENJOY the young children in your care!! Questions, answers, and scenarios (let’s brainstorm problems together)