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Communication: The Key to your Marriage

Communication: The Key to your Marriage. Challenges of Marriage. In-laws Finances Physical Relationship Discipline of Children. Challenges of Marriage. Friends Schedule Household Responsibilities Expectations Irritating Habits. Why Couples Divorce. Physical Abuse – 5%

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Communication: The Key to your Marriage

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  1. Communication: The Key to your Marriage

  2. Challenges of Marriage • In-laws • Finances • Physical Relationship • Discipline of Children

  3. Challenges of Marriage • Friends • Schedule • Household Responsibilities • Expectations • Irritating Habits

  4. Why Couples Divorce • Physical Abuse – 5% • Substance Abuse – 16% • Infidelity – 17% • Communication – 62%

  5. The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

  6. Does the Bible Have Anything to Say About Communication?

  7. Ephesians 4

  8. Ephesians 1-3 What God is Doing in the Church for His own Glory

  9. Ephesians 4:1 “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called”

  10. Ephesians 4-6 • 4:1 • 4:17 • 5:1 • 5:8 • 5:15

  11. Your WalkIs NOT A Solitary Walk

  12. Truth # 1 Communication Starts With a Proper Spirit

  13. CommunicationStarts with a Proper Spirit Communication is more than words. • More than 50% of the messages we send are communicated nonverbally. • Body language and tone of voice communicate more than words.

  14. CommunicationStarts with a Proper Spirit Effective Communication • 55% by facial expression/gestures • 38% by voice inflection, tone of voice and rate of speech. • 7% by actual words

  15. How something is saidis frequently what is said.

  16. Ephesians 4:2 “I…urge you to walk with all humility and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

  17. CommunicationStarts with a Proper Spirit Ephesians 4:2 Be Humble Humility begins with a proper awareness of self and includes an awareness of Christ.

  18. Ephesians 4:2 “I…urge you to walk 2with all humility and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love”

  19. CommunicationStarts with a Proper Spirit Ephesians 4:2 Be Gentle “Gentleness is the absence of the disposition to assert personal rights, either in the presence of God or men.” Findlay

  20. How to Respond When Offended Not everyone will be humble and mild!

  21. Ephesians 4:2 I…urge you to walk 2 with all humility and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

  22. CommunicationStarts with a Proper Spirit Ephesians 4:2 Be Patient / Longsuffering The root references passion/heat The front references distance

  23. Ephesians 4:2 I…urge you to walk 2 with all humility and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

  24. CommunicationStarts with a Proper Spirit Ephesians 4:2 Be Enduring

  25. Ephesians 4:3 I…urge you to walk endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

  26. CommunicationStarts with a Proper Spirit Ephesians 4:3 Be Committed Divorce is NEVER Mentioned.

  27. Truth # 1 Communication Starts With a Proper Spirit

  28. Truth # 2 Communication is Based on Honesty

  29. Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth . . .”

  30. Ephesians 4:25 The problem: “put away falsehood/lying” The principle: “Speak every man truth”

  31. How to Exercise Openness and Honesty in Communication 1. Do I have the facts? Prov. 18:13 2. Should love hide it? 1 Peter 4:9 3. Is my attitude right? Ephesians 4:15 4. Is the timing right? Prov. 15:23 5. Are my words right? Prov. 15:1 6. Have I prayed for God's help? Prov. 3:5-6

  32. Ephesians 4:25 Refuse to Deflect by Blaming Others Take Responsibility for Yourself Think before you speak Keep your promises Say it in love

  33. Truth # 2 Communication is Based on Honesty

  34. Truth # 3 Communication Addresses Current Issues

  35. Ephesians 4:26 The Problem Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.

  36. The Day of Angershould be The Day of Reconciliation

  37. Ephesians 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; • “anger” which is an abiding and settled habit of the mind that is aroused under certain conditions. • “wrath” – anger that is accompanied by irritation, exasperation – personal resentment – holding a grudge.

  38. Ephesians 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; • Must be directed at something wrong and evil. • Must be controlled and not a heated uncontrolled passion. • Must be no hatred or resentment.

  39. Ephesians 4:26 Principle # 1 “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath” This is a quote from Psalm 4 A Nighttime Psalm

  40. Whenever there is an issue that arises between two persons, the Bible commands that we initiate reconciliation, whether we are the offenderor the offended. Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15

  41. Ephesians 4:27 Principle # 2 “Neither give place to the devil. If you harbor anger in your heart you are throwing the door wide open for the devil.

  42. Truth # 3 Communication Addresses Current Issues

  43. Truth # 4 Communication Builds Up Rather Than Tears Down

  44. Ephesians 4:29 The Problem “Let no corrupt (Rank, foul, putrid, rotten, worthless, disgusting) communication come out of your mouths”

  45. Ephesians 4:29 The Principle “but only such as is good for building up”

  46. Ephesians 4:29 The Purpose “that it may give grace to those who hear.” Do your words benefit your spouse?

  47. When words are directed toward the problemrather that towards the person, they will build him up by helping him solve his problems.

  48. Ephesians 4:30 Principle # 1 Say nothing that would Grieve the Holy Spirit.

  49. Ephesians 4:32 Principle # 2 Speak Words of Kindness.

  50. Ephesians 4:32 Principle # 3 Speak Words of Tenderness.

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