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Dealing with Difficult, Demanding and Demeaning People

Dealing with Difficult, Demanding and Demeaning People. Dorinda Harmon College of Charleston SACRAO 2011. Angering… Annoying… PIA…Disruptive… Embarrassing …Trying… Pushing Buttons …Miserable…Rude…Cruel… Hateful…Hostile…Mean… Unfair… Energy Zapper… Hurtful … Unbearable… Destructive ….

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Dealing with Difficult, Demanding and Demeaning People

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  1. Dealing with Difficult, Demanding and Demeaning People Dorinda Harmon College of Charleston SACRAO 2011

  2. Angering… Annoying… PIA…Disruptive… Embarrassing …Trying… Pushing Buttons …Miserable…Rude…Cruel… Hateful…Hostile…Mean… Unfair… Energy Zapper… Hurtful … Unbearable… Destructive …

  3. Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway. Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. Who Are These People and Where Do They Come From? • Why Are They So Angry ? • What Has Set Them Off ? • Why Are They Taking It Out On Me ? • How Can I Get Rid of Them ? • Is this a Pattern or a One Time Happening ?

  5. Who Are They? • Parents • Students • Community

  6. Why Do They Act Like This? • Personality Traits • Controllers • Negatives • Self Boosters • Glory Seekers • Revenge • Their difficult life/work conflicts or situation

  7. What Brings These Behaviors On? • Parents • Control, misplaced caring/fear • Student • Confusion, fear, pressure • Community • Misinformation, control, lack of resources for resolution of issues

  8. Why Take It Out On Me? • You are available • Seen as someone who should be able to resolve it • You get paid to resolve it • Need to vent / control / boost • Are you a victim, instigator ?

  9. Calming an Angry Person • Calm Down • That’s Not My Fault • You’re way out of line • It you just hold on, I’ll transfer you to… • yellow reference link # 1

  10. Managing You • Choose a Win-Win attitude • Give “customers” your undivided attention • Learn to handle criticism with class yellow reference link # 1

  11. Getting Promoted: Real Strategies for Advancing Your Career Harry Chambers • Depersonalize the criticism • Assertively restate comments for clarification • Seek guidance • Process the input • Review progress-seek follow-up

  12. What Can I Do? Parents • Listen • Is there a reasonable issue ? • Look for calm resolution • Do not pass along without attempting to alleviate • Use knowledge to avoid / improve future • Call on the next level

  13. What Can I Do? Students • Listen • Provide options and information • Do not just hand off the problem • Try to resolve the issues

  14. What Can I Do? Community • Listen • Clarify the issue (s) • Consider options and resources • Put the issue, not yourself, as the focus • Call in reinforcements

  15. Resources: <a ref="http://careers.stateuniversity.com/pages/100000264/People-Management-Dealing-With-Difficult-People.html">People Management - Dealing With Difficult People</a> Rise Above the Fray: Dealing With Difficult People at Work Some People Are Difficult People By Susan M. Heathfield, About.com Guide When Options for Dealing with Difficult People Don't Work Be Prepared to Change Jobs By Alison Doyle, About.com Guide Working with Difficult People: Seven Types of Difficult People Working with Difficult People. bullet Seven Types of Difficult People. bullet ABC's of Conflict Resolution. bullet Scenarios. bullet Resources ...literacy.kent.edu/salt_fork/work_people/7types.html Working With Difficult People Feels Like Getting Pinched by a Lobster Claw! Oregon School Boards Association Greg McKenzie - gmckenzie@osba.org Tips for Negotiating with Difficult People Gina Covell Maddox, Yahoo! Contributor NetworkApr 8, 2010

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