The Ultimate Parent Guidebook prepared by Teachable Heart Ministries
When and How • "And how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.“-2 Timothy 3:15 • the need to begin early • the importance of using Scripture, not only in language, but in living • it is never too late and keep it biblical
The Ultimate Parenting Guide • The Bible gives us six directives concerning our parenting. • We are to love, encourage, provide for, comfort, discipline, and train our children
Love • intentional, sincere and unconditional love • in spite of faults and immaturity (theirs and ours) • no matter what they do or our situation • do not confuse love with appeasement. Love is not bought, bribed, or bargained.
Encourage • to support and endorse their achievements toward positive goals • efforts should always be first recognized and acknowledged by their parents, not teachers or coaches • Criticizing destroys self-esteem and makes them hesitant about attempting further goals. • Criticism hinders the maturing process. It causes children not to trust their decision making process. • For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:11
Provide For • to meet the needs of our children • Material needs- food, clothing, and shelter • Spiritual needs- a home not spiritually neutral or a spiritual pick and chose. There is one God and He is to be the object of worship in our homes. This is a necessity that we are to provide for our children. • If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8
Comfort • an emotional link that allows us to show compassion and bring comfort when they experience disappointment or hurt. • Their hurts are very real to children and demand our attention. • An emotional link with our children does not mean that we shelter them from disappointments and hurts. These are a natural and necessary part of maturing. • we should be able to sympathize with our children's hurts and be able to help them, gently, to deal with it. • As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem. Isaiah 66:13
Discipline • to correct for the purpose of education • The purpose of discipline is not solely for punishment, but to guide behavior toward biblical expectations. • In discipline, correction and instruction merge for the purpose of guiding children toward a life of obedience to God. • Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. Proverbs 19:18
Train • Training is more than just verbal instruction, it is guiding children by our lifestyles. • It is impossible to properly train children biblically if we are not living out this lifestyle ourselves. • Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
The Commands • These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.Deuteronomy 6:6-7 • The word impress means to sharpen like a knife. A knife is sharpened intentionally to increase its effectiveness. So it is with a child. Parents are to train their children intentionally to increase their spiritual effectiveness in a lost world.
Seven Practical Steps • Know your children. Talk to them. Be open with them. Be honest with them. Give them only what they are able to handle spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Know their friends, their likes and dislikes, their school, their personalities and what makes them tick. Be sure you are meeting their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. • Accept your children. Compliment them, correct them, but don't condemn them. Discipline them when necessary. Do not force your children to be what you wish you were. • Make time for your children. Your children are more important than your job, tv, computer, paper, magazines, books, videos, sports, and vacations. If you don't make the time, you will never spend the time with them. Spending time with your children lets them know that they are important to you.
4. Train your children. Be a positive role model. If there are certain habits you do not want your children to form, then don't possess them. Model prayer, spiritual disciplines, repentance, sensitivity, values, and dependency on Christ to your children. Be very transparent with your children. They will learn how to deal with sin by watching how you deal with it. 5. Make your home Christ centered. Pray with and for your children. Have a family devotion time. Read the Bible together. The faith of your children will rise only as high as your faith. Your children will not be serious about their faith if you are not. 6. Take your children to church. They need exposure to the Christian community. 7. Lead your children to Christ. Do all with the intention of helping them develop a personal relationship with Christ. Be able to recognize when they are ready to receive Christ and be equipped to lead them through the appropriate Scriptures and commitment.