Nonviolent Communication And motivational interviewing in coaching Chapter 5 Allie Lyman
Motivational interviewing • Goal: To encourage change talk and discourage resistance talk • Both coaches and clients need to make the case for change. • Expressing Empathy • Developing Discrepancy • Rolling with Resistance • Supporting Self-Efficacy
Express Empathy • Through empathy we help expand client awareness, create openness and facilitate change. • MI starting premise: Change Talk • Empathy and Change Talk combo helps to get the client past a point where they feel “stuck” • Make sure to avoid pity and sympathy when trying to be empathetic • “I feel sorry for you” • “I feel your pain” • “I respect your pain”
Nonviolent communication (NVC) • Making observations, not evaluations • “I failed to exercise last week” • “I went to the gym one time last week” • Express feelings, not thoughts • “I feel that my boss is controlling” • Identify needs, not strategies • “I need to stop at the store” • “I need to work out everyday” • Make requests, not demands • “Would you be willing to tell me what you heard me say” • “What agreements would you be willing to make with regard to exercise in the coming week?”
Nvc Model • Refer to page 66 and 67 for good lists of feeling and universal needs words.
Developing Discrepancy • Open Ended Questions (OEQs) • 50% of your question in an MI should be open ended • Reflective Listening Statements • Simple Reflections – flat mirror • Amplified Reflections – concave mirror • Double-Sided Reflections – trifold mirror • Shifted-Focus Reflections – periscope • Decisional Balance • Page 69: Quantitative Rating System • Rulers • On a scale from 1 to 10…
Rolling with Resistance • “People do not resist change, they resist being changed” • Communication patterns that interfere with empathy • Shifts that may assist in coaches to roll with resistance • From correction to connection • From competence to confidence • From causes to capacities • From counter-force to counterbalance.
Support self-efficacy • Self-efficacy is just as important as lasting change and helping clients become their best selves. • Empathy begins the process of supporting self-efficacy • Quiets judgmental and nay-saying internal voices • Developing discrepancy and rolling with resistance follow • Continue process without getting bogged down by their own thinking and feeling process • Belief in goals will create movements to action